


Romeo and Juliet: With A Little Extra Poison

by heroes_never_die



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Abby Being an Asshole, Abby Griffin Being an Asshole, Alpha Bellamy Blake, Back to Earth, Bad Parent Abby Griffin, Bellamy Blake is a History & Mythology Nerd, Blood and Injury, Break Up, Character Death, Child Neglect, Clarke Griffin & Wells Jaha Friendship, Damsels in Distress, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Endgame Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, How Do I Tag, Hurt Bellamy Blake, Hurt Clarke Griffin, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Minor Abby Griffin/Jake Griffin, Minor Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Minor Finn Collins/Raven Reyes, Minor Monty Green/Harper McIntyre, Minor Monty Green/Jasper Jordan, Minor Octavia Blake/Jasper Jordan, Murphy is a Little Shit, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes are Best Friends, Panic Attacks, Partners to Lovers, Past Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Past Child Abuse, Past Violence, Post-Break Up, Protective Lincoln (The 100), Protective Tony Stark, References to Depression, Season/Series 01, Sleep Deprivation, Sleeping Together, Slow Burn Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Tumblr: the100duets, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 48
Words: 64,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23955211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heroes_never_die/pseuds/heroes_never_die
Summary: Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin met on the Ark, and they hit it off. They fell in love amongst a sea of stars, but what happens when Clarke is arrested, her father is floated, and her mother just turns her away? What happens when Bellamy is the only one there for her?... what happens when he finds out she's getting sent to Earth?Or: what would happen if Clarke and Bellamy were dating prior to the events of the show.WARNING: A LOT OF PROTECTIVE BELLAMY
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake & Octavia Blake, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/John Murphy, Bellamy Blake/Raven Reyes, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin
Comments: 57
Kudos: 262





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! This is going to be a long fic if it gets a good response! I might do all of season one/maybe even some of season two if it really gets good feedback! thanks for reading!

_“Clarke.” Bellamy’s voice was hoarse, and he hadn’t been getting sleep in the past week that Clarke had been arrested._

_“Are you okay, are they feeding you? I’m going to get you out of here.”_

_“No, Bellamy- don’t do anything. You’re over eighteen, I’m not going to be the reason you’re floated. They’re…” Clarke’s voice broke, and she hugged Bellamy tighter._

_“My birthday’s in a week, Bellamy. They won’t let me back out, not with my knowledge. If I don’t see you again-”_

_“Clarke. Don’t use your goodbye voice. You’ll be reviewed, your mom’s from the council. You won’t get floated.”_

_Clarke shivered in his touch, and let tears roll down her face. She had been in the Skybox for a week. Her father was floated two days ago._

_“No, I’ll- I’ll see my dad again… they killed him. It was- it was Wells, it was all Wells. I thought I could trust him.”_

_She sobbed, and he only pulled her closer, humming the tune of a greek hymn he had drawn her to sleep with when she stayed with him, which was frequent- due to her mother._

_“You can trust me. You’re not going to die, Clarke. You’re not going to die.”_

_"How do you know? We're all meant to die. This could just be my time, Bellamy." Clarke nodded, believing her words, and entwining her fingers with his in a sick dance of tragedy._

_"I love you. You know that. I love… tell Octavia I love her too. I'm sorry I couldn't finish that dress for her."_

_" Clarke. You will. You're going to finish it, and we'll have our dance in your room. Solar flare and everything." Bellamy reassured her, but she shook her head, looking in his eyes._

_"They were talking about floating me this week. I heard. I want them to, Bellamy. I want it." Clarke admitted, and Bellamy felt his vision whip towards her. "_

_Clarke, don't talk like that. You will get out of here, you'll see O again. You're not dying. Don't talk like that, please." Bellamy pleaded, kissing her hand and looking out of the small cell's window._

_"We both know I'm not getting out of here. They're not going to let me out with what I know, Bellamy." Clarke whispered in his ear, falling into his chest on the small bed. The cell was ugly and small. No place for a princess._

_"I want you to move on. I don't want you to wait decades until I get out." Clarke muttered softly, her breath falling against his chest._

_"I'm waiting for the rest of my life, Clarke. Don't you dare think anything else." Bellamy replied, a harsh aftertaste in his voice. He squeezed Clarke's hand, and hummed a song to her, assuring her it would be okay._

_"I'm telling you, I heard them talking about floating me. They don't want me to say anything. I'll start a panic." Clarke cried, hiding in the crook of Bellamy's neck, her tears hydrating his skin. "Bellamy, if they don't fix the oxygen… they're going to turn the oxygen off here first. The heat is already off at night here."_

_"I'll bring you a blanket. Your mom is on the council, she'll stop it." Clarke shook her head, only crying louder after Bellamy spoke._

_"I promise, I will not let anything happen to you. In the meantime…" Bellamy pulled a bag of colored pencils and chalk out, along with Clarke's sketchbook from their habitat._

_"I paid off the guards to let you have them."_

_"Bellamy… how much did you use?" She asked, sitting up, and grasping her hands around the chalk-like it was magic. "Thank you. I love you."_

_"I love you too." Clarke shook a piece of chalk, getting the fallout from the stick. "Can you sign somewhere? I can look at it while I'm in here." Bellamy nodded, taking the chalk from her and facing the wall behind him. With Clarke's help, he drew a heart, and wrote each of their names, putting a + in between._

_"What did I do to deserve you?"_

_"Exist."_

\--------------------------------------

"Going to see Clarke again?" Octavia asked. "How is she?" His sister asked, a grim look on her face.

"To be honest, not good. They… Octavia, they were going to float her… she's seventeen." Bellamy seethed, pacing the room with his guard uniform resting limply on his shoulders. "Abby hasn't even visited her once."

"Bitch," Octavia whispered under her breath, and her face now matched Bellamy's.

"She needs you, Bellamy. Try to make her feel better."

"What else? See you in an hour or so." He sighed before leaving the apartment, a frown on his lips. Clarke tried to hide her face when they tried to float her at first, but she failed. She was relieved. But she fought, not for her: for Bellamy. Clarke had been in that cage for nearly a year, and the guards had become more and more abusive towards her to get back at Bellamy. Bags lived under his eyes, and he hadn't slept for more than six hours in months. Her cell had become a gallery, full of her dreams, and some of the nightmares. Bellamy's face littered the walls, but Clarke was careful to not draw anything with Octavia.

"Prisoner name?" A guard asked when he approached the Skybox. "Oh, you're Griffin's boy. Alright, come on." Bellamy followed the guard, a disgusted look on his face. This was the guard that hit her."Alright, you have fifteen minutes."

"Bellamy."

"Clarke." He ran to her, wrapping her in his arms and kissing her gently. "Are you okay? I heard what they did. Fucking dicks."

"I'm fine, I can survive a few bruises, Bellamy… they tried to float me. I was in the air-lock… I- I thought I wouldn't see you again." She hugged Bellamy harder, her hands covered in chalk.

"I would never let that happen. They're releasing all of the prisoners. I overheard Kane and Jaha talking about it."

Bellamy whispered, and Clarke turned to look at him, her eyes wet. "You were hearing things… no- oh my god, Bellamy they're not releasing us, they're floating us. They need to make more time to fix the ship."

Clarke muttered under her breath, suddenly hugging her knees. "Bellamy, I love you." She met his eyes and saw he was crying too.

"Clarke, stop using your goodbye voice. Come here." He led her towards the small window, pointing towards Earth. "We'll be there soon, I can feel it. We can be happy, Octavia can have a life."

"We can start a family…" Bellamy nodded, kissing her forehead with tears dripping down his face. Clarke looked through the window and looked at Bellamy.

"Yeah. Just wait, be patient, princess. We're going to get there." Clarke smiled against him and kissed him once again. "We'll be there."

\-----------------------------------------------

"Bellamy? Bellamy what's wrong?!" Octavia asked as Bellamy threw a table onto its side, tears welling in his dark eyes.

"They're sending them to earth! To die!" He yelled, being careful to keep his voice low enough so the neighbors didn't hear.

"Clarke's going to die! She's going to die alone on some radiation soaked planet!"

" How… we'll find a way, we can find a way to get on the dropship. She won't die alone. Promise." The same words he whispered to Clarke the day prior.

"No, Octavia. You're not getting arrested. If the planet's poisonous, I can't let you die too." Bellamy pleaded, fixing the table he smashed upright.

"You stay here."

"It's a good thing it's not your decision, then," Octavia grumbled and suddenly smiled. Bellamy felt panicked, first of all, because Clarke's approaching demise, and secondly because he knew that when Octavia wanted to do something, she got it done. "You're a guard, if you can get near the dropship, you can get on." Bellamy sighed and looked towards Octavia, his eyes puffy.

"When are you turning yourself in?" He asked, his voice hoarse and broken. He never thought he would say that sentence.

"Right now. Bellamy, I love you. When you visit Clarke, tell her I love her." Bellamy nodded and kissed her forehead before she walked out of the room for the first time in her life. Her smile was infectious, and something in Bellamy knew it would be alright.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke thought she was alone, thought she'd never see the Blakes again. What happens when that isn't the case?

_"Clarke." Bellamy smiled, the bags under his eyes greater, and his smile rarer._   


_"Bellamy, I saw- I saw Octavia, they found her?" Clarke asked, her eyes already red. Her eyes were dark, made from a loss of sleep. "Are- is she okay, what's going on?"_   


_"They're sending you to Earth, Clarke. Octavia wanted to go with you. I am too." Bellamy whispered as Clarke paced the room._   


_"What? What? No. Bellamy, you're not going to a deadly planet for me. I'm not letting you." Clarke decided, and Bellamy just rolled his eyes in return, sitting her down on the bed. "Bellamy, no."_   


_Clarke, if that planet is toxic, you're not dying alone. If it isn't, we can start a life there. Like we talked about." Bellamy smiled, but Clarke had a pained expression and caressed Bellamy's cheek._   


_"Bel, I can't let you. If I tried to do this, you wouldn't let me either." Clarke whispered, and Bellamy knew she was right. He would shut her down in seconds._   


_"We're going to be fine. You're going tomorrow, Clarke. I'll see you on the dropship, and so will Octavia. We're going to be fine." Clarke sighed, and he knew he had won her over. "Okay?"_

_"Please don't get killed, Bellamy. Please." She cried, hiding in his chest. He rubbed her back, humming a song he had sung Octavia when she was little._   


_"I'll be fine. I will see you tomorrow. We're going to be free."_   


_"Free…"_

“Clarke. Clarke, wake up.” A familiar voice slowly drew her to consciousness as a rumbling around her shook her violently. “Clarke.”

“... Bellamy?” She murmured, opening her eyes. She was on a metal dropship, and tens of dozens of other kids surrounded her, all of them fastened into seats that would be on an old-fashioned carnival ride. “You.” Clarke gritted her teeth as she met Wells’ eyes, a sudden urge to curl her hands into fists in her veins.   


“Welcome back.” Her face dropped because at first, she thought it was a trick of the light, but no- her father’s murderer was standing in front of her- or… sitting. “Look-”  


“Wells, what the hell are you doing here?” Clarke growled, instantly trying to unbuckle her belts. A stinging pain ran through her wrists as she realized a small, metal bracelet had been dug into her skin. A small beeping noise emitted from the bowels of the machine.   


“When I found out they were sending prisoners to the ground, I got myself arrested.” He started to explain, trying to talk as quickly as he could; since he knew Clarke would likely interrupt him to insult him, or just stop listening. “I came for you.”   


Clarke scoffed, not even able to look at him. He’s not serious, right? Is Bellamy here?... no, he was never arrested… I left him behind. I won’t see him again. 

Before she could finish her thought, a lurching earthquake was sent through the drop ship, causing screams to be sent out from the prisoners. “What was that?” She asked, her voice small; but determined to get off.   
“That was the atmosphere,” Wells stated as if he had been studying this for weeks. Clarke couldn’t help but wonder what his cell had looked like, most likely decorated with couches, and actual food; instead of disgusting porridge twice a week. Rationing, they called it.

“Prisoners of the Ark, hear me now,” They all looked up to see their Chancellor on a small screen, his dark face emotionless. Already, many prisoners started calling out names and realizing Wells was on the ship, spitting at him from across the ship. 

“You’ve been given a second chance. And as your Chancellor, I hope that you see this not just as a chance for you, but a chance for all of us.” Jaha looked as if he was talking about trading an item, and Clarke couldn’t help but feel disgusted. This man, like his son: was a murderer, a supposed model citizen. “Indeed, for mankind itself. We have no idea what is waiting for you down there…” Yet you still are sending us down. Asshole.   
“If the odds of survival were better, we would have sent others. Frankly, we’re spending you because your crimes have made you expendable.” More insults were directed towards the small screen, and one boy had even gotten out of his seat momentarily: shanking the screen with a hidden blade that rested in his pocket.   
“Did you hear that, Wells? You’re expendable.” A voice called, followed by another one screaming.   
“Your dad’s a dick, Wells!” Clarke easily agreed in her head but found her resentment directed more towards the younger Jaha. He had turned her in: after nearly two decades of being best friends.  
Laughter began filling the room but was quickly cut off by another deafening thud, and the giggles morphed into screams of terror. “... Mount Weather, a military base-” The message was cut off for good, as the screens went black.   
“That’s the last time you’ll see daddy, Wells!” A voice teased. Clarke smiled, facing Wells. She nodded, agreeing with the foreign voice.   
“Clarke-”  
“Don’t talk to me, Wells.” She gritted her teeth, trying not to scream as she was nearly thrown out of her seat. “Don’t touch me!” She yelled as Wells grabbed her arm, trying to save her the pain of a ladder to the face. 

“Go, Finn!” 

“Space-Walker strikes again!” Voices laughed as Clarke set her eyes on a dark-haired boy, performing somersaults in the center of the ship. “Woo!” The same voice laughed, as ‘Finn’ made eye-contact with Clarke, sending her a wink. She felt Wells budge beside her. 

“Check it out, your dad floated me after all,” Finn smirked, and Clarke couldn’t help but perform a small smile at Wells squirming like a worm on a hook. 

“Strap in, before the parachutes take off,” Wells warned, looking towards two other boys who were following close behind Finn; one kissing the palm of a girl’s hand in a charming fashion. Normally, Clarke would agree with Wells, telling them to get back in their seats, but she felt a moral obligation to disagree with him on everything, not give him a taste of affection. “You two, stay put if you want to live!”

“Hey, you’re that traitor who’s been in solitary for two years,” Finn smirked. Charming. 

“You’re that idiot who wasted a month of oxygen on an illegal space-walk.” Clarke had gotten news of the outside from Bellamy until he eventually stopped visiting her… Clarke felt a wince of pain in her heart when she thought of the charming, smart, handsome boy she loved. 

“But it was fun. I’m Finn.” He smirked once again, reaching his hand out. She kept her hands tied to the belts tying her in the chair, treating them like a life-line. As much as she wanted to hide it: she was terrified. 

“Stay in your seat!” Wells ordered yet the boys who were following Finn, performing a ballet in the air. In a sickening crack, the two boys were thrown against the metal walls, Finn close behind. “Idiots.”

“Go float yourself, Wells.” Clarke spat, disgusted by his reaction to what seemed like the three boys’ deaths. No… two: Finn groaned, accepting the hand of a girl with dark hair and even prettier emerald eyes. She seemed familiar, and the girl was looking at Clarke with the same, wide-eyed glance. “Finn, are you okay?!” Clarke shrieked but was deafened over the sudden destruction of the ship as two pipes came loose, sending sparks flying towards a sea of prisoners.

“The rockets should’ve fired by now!” Wells yelled in Clarke’s ear, and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes, trying to seem less scared.

“It’s fine, this ship’s a hundred years old!” She screamed back, and prayed silently, hoping she was correct. “Give it a second!”

“Clarke, there’s something I have to tell you!” _Not now, dumbass_. “I’m sorry I got your father arrested, I-”

“Don’t you talk about my father!” She snapped, teeming into his eyes with daggers in his direction. Clarke felt every emotion from that first week resurface, but mostly the hatred she felt for the Jaha’s. 

“Please! I can’t die knowing that you hate me!” Are you sure? “Clarke-”

“They didn’t arrest my father, Wells: they executed him! I do hate you!” She screamed, not meeting his eyes once again, despite the white-hot anger rolling off of her with ease... 

The noise was deafening, and the screams dancing through the air didn’t help. This is how I’m going to die. With him right by my side… Suddenly, it was all over. 

The machine hum died, and everything went still. The screams stopped, and Clarke’s hands immediately reached to get herself out of the seat and ran towards Finn. “Finn, can you hear me?” He groaned in response, and she couldn’t help but smirk.

_Don’t look so cool now, huh?_ “Listen… no machine hum…” One boy muttered, a look of other shock and disbelief on his face. “Woah, That’s a first.” She felt Wells’ eyes on her and Finn, but she just busied herself with tearing off a shred off the hem of her shirt, tying it around a gash on her arm. Clarke then ran to the other two boys but felt her blood run cold when she felt nothing but the skin of their necks on her fingers. They didn’t even see Earth before they died, because of Finn. 

“The outer door is on the lower level, let’s go!” One boy cheered, which made Wells run right out of his seat, immediately arguing with them. Clarke could only feel one thought run through her: He’s going to be killed by one of them before he even gets outside. 

Clarke scrambled quickly sliding down the ladder. A crowd had assembled around the doors with Wells at the front.

“Wells, get out of the way,” Clarke ordered, and Wells shot her a puzzled look. 

“The air could be toxic, we can’t go out there without testing it.”

“And if the air’s toxic, what are you going to do? Pull out one hundred gas masks. You’ve got radiation suits? We’re already dead if the air-”

“Clarke?” A feminine voice asked. Clarke turned around, and saw a green-eyed, dark-haired girl, smiling at her. Clarke faltered as Octavia ran towards her, wrapping her arms around her. “You’re alive.”

“You’re okay…” Clarke laughed, quickly hugging Octavia back so tightly she thought she would choke. Clarke felt tears roll down her back, most likely from Octavia, as the other kids grew silent, but quickly; murmuring spread amongst them. “Is… where’s your brother? Did he… is Bellamy here?”

“Brother? No one has a brother!” A voice called out from the sea of delinquents.

“That’s- that’s Octavia Blake, the girl they found under the floor!” Octavia suddenly launched at the girl who yelled that, but a new force held her back, a strong pair of arms. “Octavia, stop!” Bellamy. She turned, and everything was there; his voice, his hair, his beautiful, charming dark eyes: but her favorite, his smirk when he saw her. 

“Clarke.” Bellamy rushed towards her, and took her in his arms, squeezing her so tightly she could barely breathe. 

“Nice to see you made it, Blake,” Clarke whispered and was suddenly aware of all of the eyes watching the three’s reunion. “Let’s continue this later…” She whispered, and Bellamy understood, feeling her anxiety build from all of the people watching them.  


“Wells, open the door."

Clarke was trying to hide her excitement from Bellamy and Octavia meeting her, but she wanted to be outside with them, whether or not it was safe. “We’re not staying in here for the rest of our lives.”

“Clarke, it isn’t-”

“Get out of the way, Jaha,” Bellamy grumbled and turned to Octavia. “You don’t want them knowing you as the ‘girl under the floor?’ Be the first person on Earth in a century.” Octavia smiled and broke through the crowd. Bellamy pulled Wells back, who resulted in tearing himself from Bellamy, but knew better than to mess this up for his sister.   
With her hand on the lever of the door, Octavia pulled, and a breath of fresh air passed through the lungs of every teenager in the dropship. The quiet lasted for a moment, and everyone was breathless. There was so much green. 

Clarke squeezed Bellamy’s hand, and he broke his gaze to look down at her. For the first time in years, she smiled; and then he did too. “We’re back, bitches!” Bellamy grinned as Octavia ran onto the ground, followed by everyone else in the dropship. The cheers of the delinquents were deafening but in a good way. They were all so happy, but of course, that was something that Clarke shortly pushed back, and she walked back into the dropship, grabbing a map from the small supply crate they had gotten from the Ark.   


“Clarke, come on: let’s go! We’re on Earth, but the map away!” Bellamy smiled, dragging her outside, but she was able to grab her things before he could. “Look at it! The trees, the grass…”  


“You’re adorable, Bellamy.” Clarke smiled, and he took her in his arms and kissed her for the first time in weeks. It felt perfect, just like everything around them; it was perfect. “Thank you, for coming down. I love you.”  


“I love you too.” Little did they know, someone was watching them: Wells Jaha, looking towards the young couple with a glare. Clarke had certainly moved on quickly… hadn’t she loved him? Was it a one-sided relationship, or did they truly think of them as friends? “Now, we need to figure out where we are, or we’ll be dead in three days for dehydration.”  


“Always work with you, Griffin.” Bellamy teased, and followed her to the door of a dropship, helping her layout the map and her cartography tools. “Where’d you learn to do all of this?”  


“My dad.” She answered, and didn’t lookup. Bellamy shot a glare towards a boy who was watching them, the very hell-spawn of their Chancellor. “Shit.”  


“What, what is it?” Bellamy asked, bending down and looking at the map. It just seemed like a map to him, but when he saw the drawings that Clarke had just added, he saw what she was worried about. 

“This isn’t- look… Do you see that mountain? That’s Mount Weather. They dropped us on the wrong mountain, Bellamy.”  


“There’s a radiation soaked forest between us and our next meal.” Bellamy finished her thoughts and looked at her. Two seconds ago, she was happy; smiling even. But now? She looked terrified. “It’s okay, if the radiation was deadly, we’d be dead by now.”

“Clarke.” They both looked up to see Wells, and Clarke’s person almost rapidly changed. “The communication is down. I went up to the roof, and around two dozen panels are missing.” Clarke swore under her breath, and got up, pacing around the small area both of the boys she loved -or used to for one of them- were sitting, and unspoken war being fought in the silence between them. 

“Shit… okay, well the bracelets are commutative, right? We just need to make sure everyone keeps them on.” Clarke solved the problem quickly and sat back down next to Bellamy, who took her hand, matching a glare from Wells. “We have bigger problems, Wells. We’re around thirty miles from Mount Weather.”

“What?”

“Yeah, your dad can’t do anything right, it seems.” Bellamy retorted, smirking when Clarke smiled under her breath. 

“Look, I don’t know you, but we need to get to that mountain. Acting like a child won’t get anything accomplished.” Wells spat, and it didn’t take long for Bellamy to get angry. Clarke took his hand, keeping him from charging Wells, but she couldn’t tape his mouth closed. 

“That’s ironic, Chancellor.” Bellamy snorted, and turned away from Wells, treating him like nothing more than a speck of dust. He watched his girlfriend fiddling with a tool he couldn’t even name, and frown even more. “What is it?”

“The radiation shouldn’t kill us, but it isn’t a smart idea to have everyone come with us. It’ll be easier to start making cabins and such if they’re calm. We need to give them time to experience earth.” Clarke muttered, and rolled up her map, looking back at Bellamy. 

“Okay, let me tell Octavia, and then we’ll go.” Bellamy nodded but was stopped by a long-haired boy, looking at Clarke. “Can I help you?”

“No. Princess, I found a butterfly forest, wanna take a look?” Clarke looked up to see Finn being shoved back by Wells, a possessive glare on the older boy’s face. It seemed Bellamy was about to argue with Finn as well, but Wells beat him to it. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Hands off him, he’s with us.” Wells looked up, seeing John Murphy. 

“Relax, we’re just trying to figure out where we are.” Wells held up his hands, allowing the goggled kid to scramble out of his grasp. Murphy snorted, quickly circling Wells along with his gang. 

“We’re on the ground, that not good enough for you?” One of his friends asked with a snide look. The gang had knives in their hands, and Clarke was impressed when she realized it was made from dropship metal… at least they weren’t stupid. Arrogant, but not stupid. 

“We need to find Mount Weather. How long do you think we’ll survive without that food? Or water? You heard my father’s message. That needs to be our priority.” Wells announced, looking towards the crowd that had assembled. Bellamy retreated to Clarke, placing a hand around her shoulder. They spotted Octavia running around with two girls, a truly happy expression on her face. Clarke smiled at her second-best friend being happy, and able to see people her age- other than Clarke. 

“Screw your father. What, you think you’re in charge here? You and your little princess?” Murphy asked, gesturing towards Clarke, who wasn’t even paying attention. She didn’t even look up, just gave Murphy the finger, and returned to her work, next to Bellamy, who was growing angrier and angrier at these juvenile animals treating Clarke like some babe. 

“Look, we don’t give a shit who’s in charge. Hell, for all I care; the twelve-year-old can be the next Chancellor. I’ll put it plain and simple for you since you can’t seem to grasp this: in three days, we will all die from dehydration without the water in that mountain. If we don’t die from that, we will all slowly starve while the small amount of present radiation kills us. We’ll die, but it will be slow, and painful. Or you can just end it quickly with the knives you made. We need those damn supplies, there’s no need to be an ass about it.” 

“I have an idea. Why don’t you and your little Chancellor go? Send the ones we don’t care about.”

“That sounds familiar.” Clarke snorted, glaring towards Wells. Bellamy stepped forward, sending daggers towards Murphy. None of these people knew how much Clarke had been through, hell: she had to stand next to her own father’s murderer, and here they were; treating her like some corrupt dictator. 

“You’re not listening to her, we all need to go. There’s no way we’ll all carry enough for one hundred people.” Bellamy yelled, making sure everyone heard him. Were they that stupid that they thought that Clarke could carry one hundred meals? And even then, that would only be one day worth of food if they didn’t ration. 

“Look at this, everybody- Chancellor of Earth!” Murphy announced, earning a few snickers from the people surrounded him, but mostly only his group. A few people seemed to be listening to Clarke, probably because she described their slow and painful deaths. Less and fewer people were trusting Murphy as the seconds counted themselves. 

“Think that’s funny?” Wells asked with a now furious expression. Clarke looked to Bellamy, who shared the same ‘over it’ expression. They didn’t have time for this. 

In a matter of seconds, Wells was on the floor, with Murphy holding a knife in front of him.

“Wells!” Clarke groaned, trying to get to Murphy to make him understand that stabbing a harmless teenager wasn’t the best way to get political success; but one of his lackeys, held her, pushing her back until Bellamy tore her from his grip, asking if she was okay. 

“... no, but that was.” Murphy smiled, sniffling and wiping his nose on his sleeve. His slick hair was pushed back, with his jacket from the Ark already covered in leaves and dirt. “Alright…” Murphy shrugged, raising his knife as Wells raised his fists. “Come on, Chancellor!” 

“God, we don’t have time for this.” Clarke rolled her eyes, not bothering to look as Finn dropped from the dropship, stopping the fight. 

“Kid’s got one leg, why don’t you wait until it’s a fair fight?” Murphy clenched his jaw but eventually hid his knife in his pocket, but something told Bellamy he just didn’t want to start his ‘presidency’ with murder. 

“Hey, spacewalker. Rescue me next.” Octavia winked, only making Bellamy hate Finn even more. Finn smiled like a child on Christmas morning, as the tension was defused with the small laughter of the kids, and returning chatter. 

When everyone dematerialized from the scene, Bellamy walked over to Octavia: glaring at her. “What, he’s cute.” Clarke smiled at Octavia, but got back to her work soon enough, making foreign notes on the work.

“He’s a criminal.”

  
“They’re all criminals, Bellamy.” Clarke pointed out, earning a small glare from Bellamy as well, but Octavia smiled, sitting next to Clarke with a toothy grin.   
“Look, O: I came down here to protect you and Clarke. I-”

  
“I don’t need protecting, big brother. I have been locked up my entire life, one way or another. I am done following orders. I need to have fun, Bel.” Clarke smiled small, she was happy for Octavia. Hell, she was happy she got locked up, because without her;

Octavia wouldn’t be down here, and she would still be locked under the floor. “I need to just do something crazy because I can, and no one- including you: is going to stop me.” Bellamy glanced anxiously towards Clarke and his sister and lowered his voice. “I can’t stay with them, O.” 

“What are you talking about, Bellamy?” Clarke asked, her voice suddenly anxious. Bellamy walked over, returning his arm to around her shoulder. 

“It’s fine. We’re all going to be fine…” Clarke raised her eyebrow, and he knew one way or another, he would have to tell her. “... Look, I did something to get on the dropship, something they will kill me for when they get down here. Clarke, I’m sorry; but I can’t say what it is just yet, but… you have to trust me. You still trust me, don’t you?”

“Of course, Bellamy.”

“What she said.” Octavia nodded, and both of the girls were looking at each other, suddenly confused. “Bellamy, what did you do?” 

"I can’t say, but… look, I’ll tell you eventually, but we need to wait.” Bellamy held Clarke’s hand, while Octavia pushed her hair back, looking a little less happy than before. Suddenly, footsteps approached the small family, and when Bellamy saw him, his fingers curled into a fist.

“So, Mount Weather; when do we leave?” Clarke stood at once, hiding her map in a back-pack she’d found on the dropship. Always resourceful… Bellamy thought, smiling when he saw her. 

“Right now. We’ll be back together with food.” Clarke looked towards Wells but didn’t bother to fix his leg. She was done helping him. 

“How are the three of you going to carry enough food for one hundred?” Finn rolled his eyes and turned around, grabbing two boys from behind him. Monty Green and Jasper… Jasper Jordan. Clarke recognized them from when they were first taken from the Skybox. 

“Five, can we go now?”  


“Sounds like a party, make it six.” Octavia chimed, bouncing around towards Finn, but Bellamy held him back, a conflicted expression on her face. 

“We’ll be with her, Bel. If anything, it’s less safe here with people like Murphy walking around.” Clarke pointed out, and eventually; Bellamy nodded, giving Octavia a grin. She walked over and hugged Clarke, while the other three boys began walking towards the forest until Clarke grabbed Finn’s wrist. Bellamy felt an ounce of jealousy bleed through him until Clarke spoke. 

“Hey. Were you trying to take this off?” Clarke asked, noticing two burn marks on Finn’s skin and bracelet. 

“Yeah, so?” 

“So, that wristband transmits your vitals to the Ark. Take it off, and they’ll think you're dead.” Suddenly, Clarke’s face changed, and she released Finn, a subtle, but visible smile on his face. 

“Should I care?”

“Well, I dunno; do you want your friends and family up there to think you’re dead?” She asked, and he shrugged, clearly not caring. 

“You made your point, can we go now?”

“Whatever the hell you want.” Bellamy shrugged, shoving him forward before Clarke pulled him aside while they were walking through the woods, taking lead in the rest of the group. “What is it, I can see you worrying, Clarke.”

“Not worrying… Bellamy, whatever it is you did, you’re right; your crimes aren’t going to be expunged from your record… if we take those off, they won’t follow us down here. They won’t touch you.” Clarke smiled, whispering as to not allow anyone else to hear. Bellamy met her eyes, and smirked, kissing Clarke’s hairline. 

“You’re incredible, princess.” Bellamy smiled and squeezed her hand. “Now let’s get those supplies so we survive until then.” Clarke nodded, and was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that she was on Earth, and no less; her only family was here… her mother hadn’t visited her once, and when her father died, Abby had turned Clarke away; blaming no one but Clarke for Jake’s death. “You okay?”

“Huh?”

“Princess, I can tell when you’re nervous. I’ve known you for five years. I’ve practically perfected the language of Clarke Griffin.” Bellamy smirked, but she could tell by his eyes he was serious. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”

“Just thinking about… stuff.” Clarke answered, continuing to walk along the subtle path while keeping her mental image of the map in her brain. Bellamy knew this Clarke; the Clarke who worked herself to the bone, despite knowing what a lack of sleep and food did to a person. Hers was the only life he didn’t trust with his girlfriend. 

“Very specific, Clarke.” He smiled, and nudged her shoulder, shooting her his iconic ‘worried Bellamy’ look. “Seriously… you know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I’m… I’m wondering if my mom cares if I’m here or not. If she’s looking at my bracelet data and worrying, or just hoping it goes out soon…” Clarke muttered, thinking of how cruel Abby was when Clarke was almost floated for the first time. “It was my mom’s idea.” She blurted out, just as Bellamy was about to comfort her. 

“What was?” His girlfriend took a breath, and looked towards Bellamy, slowing down for a minute. 

“Getting me floated.” She whispered, and marched on, walking ahead of Bellamy. Is that true?... I’m not sad we’re playing dead. Bellamy thought, and he dug his fingernails into his palms, daring to draw blood. How could a doctor be so heartless? 

“Come on, guys. We need to get there before sundown.” Clarke beckoned the other kids to walk faster, and Octavia groaned, catching up with her friend. 

“How do you block all of this out, Clarke? Look at where we are!” She laughed, pulling Clarke’s leg, but Bellamy knew better; she never showed her emotions, even he had to work to get her to open up at times. It was Clarke’s biggest flaw, her lack of care for herself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i didn't really have anywhere good to leave this episode. please leave a comment if you enjoyed, it makes my day. thank you!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They thought they were safe on the ground, and Clarke had never felt less in danger now that Bellamy was here, but little did they know: radiation wouldn't be what killed them.

“Well, it’s simple. I wonder, ‘why haven’t we seen any animals?’ Maybe, it’s because there are none. _Maybe_ , we’ve already been exposed to enough radiation to kill us.” Clarke shrugged, but Bellamy could tell she didn’t care. He knew how she was wired, she never cared about herself. She was worried about the radiation because if it was deadly, she’d have to watch Octavia and Bellamy die. “Sure is pretty, though. C’mon.”  
“Wish someone would slip her some poison sumac…” Bellamy heard Jasper mutter, which he returned with yet another middle finger going through the air. So far, this wasn’t going well. Clarke was anxious about a million different things, and when she was anxious, it wasn’t good for anything, but mostly her. 

“I gotta know what you two did to get busted,” Finn announced, finally sending his attention towards someone other than Clarke and Octavia. 

“Sumac isn’t the only herb in the garden, my friend.” Monty snickered, and for the first time since they’d left, Bellamy chuckled. “Someone forgot to replace what we took.” He eyed Jasper, who pretended to be hurt, grabbing at his heart. 

“Someone’s apologized a million times. How about you, Octavia? What’d they get you for?” 

“Being born,” Octavia muttered, and ran ahead, starting a conversation with Clarke, who was rambling nervous questions to herself, but stopped when she saw Octavia. “What are we going to do about Bellamy?” She whispered, looking back to her brother, who was striking a conversation with Jasper, one of the tolerable people on this Earth… or so they thought. 

“I dunno… do you have any idea what he did?” Clarke asked, trying not to look back at him. “He was a guard, he shouldn’t have had to do anything to get on the dropship. He would’ve been close enough to climb aboard at the last second.” Clarke thought aloud… she resented herself for getting Bellamy caught, and would never forgive herself if Bellamy got killed on her account. 

“We need to find out. He’s too much of a doofus to figure it out himself.” Clarke smiled at Octavia’s insult and put her shoulder around the girl. “I’m glad you’re okay, Clarke. I missed you.” 

“Me too. I didn’t…” Clarke trailed off as her eyes caught a movement in the bushes, and shushed Octavia, quickly hiding behind a bush with the younger Blake behind her. “I saw something move.” She whispered when Octavia shot her a look, and as Bellamy and the rest of the kids arrived, worried; Clarke put a finger over her lips and beckoned them over. “Something moved in the bushes.” She muttered and saw as Bellamy reached for the knife in his pocket. 

“A knife won’t do much against a bear, Bellamy.” Finn antagonized Blake, who just ignored his antics. Clarke carefully peeked over, and stood in silence; smiling. “Princess?” 

_ He stole my goddamn nickname _ . “It’s a fawn,” Clarke whispered, her smile enchanting and her eyes full of childish wonder. The sunlight shone against her irises as the deer tortured blades of grass, consuming them in her mouth.  _ At least we know if there’s nothing at Mount Weather, the trees and nature aren’t poisonous.  _

“It’s so pretty.” Octavia grinned, resting her left arm on Clarke’s shoulder. As the two girls looked in silent glee at the animal, Finn sneaked closer, taking a mental image of the deer. As the boy stepped forward, an unprecedented twig snapped beneath him, and in a matter of seconds, the deer turned around. 

“Jesus!” Clarke jumped, grabbing Bellamy’s hand instinctively as the deer turned, revealing a second; burnt head. 

“That’s not a good sign, is it?” Jasper asked Clarke, who shook her head, a stray hair falling in front of her face. 

“If the deer is infected, the rest of the animals are too. Which means when we use up all our rations at Mount Weather…”

“We’ll be out of luck.” Bellamy finished his hands on his hips. “ _ Shit _ .” 

“Well, when the Ark comes; they’ll bring food and Algae. We just need to survive until then.” Monty told himself. Clarke shot Bellamy a look, and he just rewarded her with his signature ‘it’ll be fine’ look, and took her hand, helping her down from the ledge she’d climbed onto when she saw the deer. 

“Why today?” Finn asked, swinging around a mossy tree. Clarke didn’t bother telling him it could be laced with radiation. Part of her wanted him to just screw off, but Octavia enjoyed his presence, although; the other Blake  _ certainly  _ didn’t, sending Finn bad looks the whole trek. He noticed Finn  _ subtly  _ looking at Clarke’s ass, and that was enough to make him pummel Finn, but that would just mean more work for Clarke. “What changed?”

“Who cares, I’m just glad they did. I woke up rotting in a cell, and now I’m spinning around a tree.” Octavia shrugged, playing with a blade of grass within her nails, still astounded something like this could still exist. Grass and trees became a folk tale on the Ark, besides from the one tree they had brought from the ground, but that came with the so-called ‘crazies,’ but now… she didn’t think they were so crazy. The Earth  _ was  _ something to rejoice. 

“Maybe they found something on a satellite. Like, one of those old ones they had before the bombs.” Monty propositioned, but Bellamy knew why Clarke suddenly had a troubled expression painted across her face. 

“It wasn’t a satellite, the Ark is dying,” Clarke stated calmly, but everyone else turned around; pausing with shocked faces. Besides Bellamy. He remained silent, afraid to interrupt Clarke when she was like this; thinking of her dad. “With the current population, they have three months left of life support; maybe four with us gone.”

“So that was the secret they locked you up to keep, why they kept you in solitary; floated your old man?” Clarke winced, squeezing Bellamy’s hand with a drop of pain. 

“Charming.” Octavia mocked, elbowing Finn. Clarke sighed and continued, ignoring Bellamy’s puppy dog look towards her, and a look of absolute hatred and disgust towards Finn; as if he was every bad thing in the world. 

“My father was the engineer who discovered the flaw. He thought the people had a right to know. The council disagreed.” She spat, thinking back of when she told Bellamy. He was understanding and worried. And then she thought to when she told Wells, and it all went to shit. “My- my mother disagreed. They thought it would cause a panic. We were going to go public anyway when Wells-”

“What, turned in your dad?” The silence and emotionless expression on Clarke’s face were enough of an answer. This time, Clarke didn’t squeeze Bellamy’s hand, she just continued walking, wishing Mount Weather would teleport in front of them so she could stop this conversation. It’s like Finn had no concept of boundaries, but that didn’t surprise her, considering how egotistical and arrogant he was. 

“Anyway, the guard turned up before we could… that’s why today. That’s why it was worth the risk. Even if we die, at least they bought themselves more time.” Clarke sighed, knowing full well it was her mother’s idea to send the 100 to the ground in the first place. Abby was the cause of the two boys’ deaths on the dropship.

“They’re gonna kill more people… aren’t they?” Monty asked, and Clarke nodded, now regretting the idea of ever thinking of taking off their wristbands, but then she regretted her remorse, remembering what she’d gone through on not only her cell but the Ark in general. 

“Good. After what they did to me, I say float them all.”

“O. There are babies on there, innocents. Plenty of people on there are just as ostracized as us.” Bellamy grumbled and knew they’d have to come up with a new plan for his safety. Bellamy knew Clarke was thinking the same thing by the wordless exterior she’d put up. She was thinking. 

Octavia jogged ahead, followed by Bellamy and Jasper. Finn pulled Clarke aside, their faces too close; which was proven as she backed away from him, not buying into any of his foolish attempts to flirt with her. He didn’t seem to grasp the idea of a boyfriend. “We have to warn them.” 

“That’s what my father said.” Clarke murmured, and continued after muttering the three small words that had been in her mind since his floating; “... and he’s dead.” 

“Octavia! What are you doing?” Bellamy yelled, blocking Jasper and Monty’s vision as his sister stripped down, giving Clarke a desperate look to do something. 

“The water could be poisonous, Octavia!” Bellamy yelled, trying to scare her out of jumping in, but as a splash prompted water to leap out of the river, she was proven useless. 

Bellamy rushed over, his blood pumping four times as fast as it had before Octavia’s stupid decision, quickly followed by Clarke. “Octavia!” 

“Chill out, Clarke. The water’s fine.” Octavia smiled, floating in the seemingly warm river. The small rapids drifted her in the pool of water. She giggled, and Bellamy and Clarke shared a look of relief. 

As everyone else began to strip down Clarke checked her mental image of the map and squinted in confusion. “Wait… there’s not supposed to be a river here.” She murmured, looking up to Bellamy. He was watching Jasper and Monty closely as they scrambled out of their clothes, hungry for Octavia. He sent them a warning glare, which they took seriously; as they waited to get in the water. 

“Well, there is; so take off your damn clothes.” Finn eyed Clarke up and down. She ignored it, but Bellamy didn’t; as he waited for Finn to undress and pushed Finn into the water, not even bothering to look as he screamed, but somehow… Bellamy wasn’t fast enough to grab Clarke, because on the way down Finn pulled Clarke along, drenching her and her clothes from foot to toe.

Luckily for Finn’s sake, her bag and map had been placed beside Bellamy’s feet. “ _ Finn _ ! You’re an ass.” She growled, standing quickly and splashing him as he laughed. Even though she was mad, it was a good change in Clarke, she was able to act her age for a moment, and Bellamy was thankful for that until he saw the sudden shadow in the water heading towards Finn, Octavia, and Clarke. “Octavia!” Clarke laughed when she was splashed, the three still unaware of the large shadow. 

“Octavia! Get out of the water! Clarke, get out!” Bellamy screamed, his vision turning red when Finn scrambled out of the water, not bothering to help Clarke or Octavia, who were both far from the shore. “Octavia!”

Clarke had begun to rush back to shore, but when she saw Octavia stuck from fear, and walked back towards her, not able to swim. “Octavia, come on!” Clarke barked, grabbing her arm and dragging her towards the shore: which was twenty feet away. 

“It’s getting closer!” Jasper warned, starting to run into the water, but was stopped by Monty. “M-Monty!”  
“Running in blind won’t do anything!” Monty yelled at him as Clarke took the caboose end of the duo, getting Octavia out first. 

“Bellamy, distract it! Get a rock or something!” Clarke ordered, and he nodded, waving Monty and Jasper over. “Octavia, swim!” Clarke pushed Octavia, still behind the terrified girl. “Oct-”

In a matter of seconds, Clarke was pulled underwater, as Octavia looked back, and did nothing but run; horrified. “PUSH IT!” Bellamy screamed, and at once; the rock made a humongous splash and released Clarke, who was doggy-paddling towards the shore, as the shore somehow was deeper than it had been before. “Clarke, Clarke!” 

Her leg was bleeding, but she didn’t care, she hobbled onto the shore, glaring at Finn; who did absolutely nothing. “You’re a coward, not a Space-Walker.” Clarke spat, and sat down on the pebbles, pointing towards a med-kit she had in her bag. “Get me my bag, Bel.” She ordered, her voice more angry than scared.

“Clarke, are you alright?” Octavia asked, brushing a strand of hair out of Clarke’s face. Clarke nodded, not even wincing from the pain, she was just focused on fixing her leg and getting to Mount Weather. 

“I’m fine. Give me the string and needle, I need to sew this closed.” Clarke breathed as Bellamy returned with the requested items, his hands shaking a small bit. “Thanks… okay, while I’m doing this: Jasper, Monty, Finn, start making a rope out of the leaves so we can get across.” She ordered, threading the needle extremely calmly as the three boys followed her orders. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Clarke?” Bellamy asked, and Clarke glared at him. 

“I’m fine, Bellamy. It’s a snake bite. Unless it’s poisonous, it won’t kill me.” Bellamy’s blood fell cold again, and she scoffed. “It’s probably not, I’m fine; really.”

Clarke winced as the needle pierced her skin, but despite her nearly nonexistent moan of pain, she continued; stitching seven stitches along with the large bite, trying to keep in her cries of pain. “See? All done?” Clarke smiled, breathing again when she tied the end of the stitch and cut off the needle. “I’m really fine, Bellamy.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you…” Octavia nearly choked Clarke after she was done, hugging her so hard. “Thank you, Clarke.”

“It’s fine, Octavia.” Clarke shrugged, but Octavia didn’t let go. As his sister hugged her, Bellamy gave Clarke such a look of gratitude, she thought he was crying. Her eyes were reading him, and he couldn’t wait until they got back, because there was  _ so much  _ to talk about, and now he knew; he was going to spend the rest of his life with this girl. “Go check if they’re doing stuff… please?” Clarke asked, smiling as she let Clarke go and rushed off towards Jasper, leaving the couple together. 

“Thank you so much, Clarke.” Bellamy croaked, hugging her even tighter than Octavia; if that was possible. “You saved her life.” She nodded against him, hugging him back in a weaker fashion. 

“Are you cold?” Bellamy asked, and Clarke nodded, looking up towards him. 

“Can I borrow your jacket so I can get out of this shirt?” She asked, and he nodded; immediately tearing the jacket off of him, and covering her with his own body as she undressed to her bra. “Done.” She muttered, now dressed in Bellamy’s jacket, but her jeans were still soaked, and she was still shivering. “Thanks.”

“We need to get back as quickly as possible so that you don’t get hyperthermia.” Bellamy made a mental note, as Clarke nodded, her hands grabbing at her arms; ordering them to stop freezing. Somehow, it was already five o’clock, which meant they only had an hour of sunlight left. 

“We need to get going. We don’t have that much more light.” Clarke whispered nervously and got up; wincing almost immediately, and grabbing her leg like it was on fire. 

“Clarke! You need to sit down, you can’t go swinging across a river like Tarzan with that leg.”  
“I’m not staying here, Bellamy,” Clarke gritted her teeth, and took his arm, allowing her to walk easier. “Thanks… I can walk, Bellamy. It’s fine.”  
“You know that if the roles were swapped, I’d be in bed for a week with you next to me the whole time. As soon as we get back to the ship, you’re resting.” He told her, though it seemed like an order. “Please… for me?”

“That’s a low blow.” She grumbled, and with his help: hobbled over to the rest of the group. “Well? Will it sustain your weight, Finn?” She sent daggers at Finn, and he almost looked scared of her, though in this state; she wasn’t exactly intimidating… and that was rare for Clarke Griffin. 

“It’ll work, thanks for worrying,” Finn muttered, and Clarke scoffed.

“Oh, I’m sorry; was I supposed to worry about your well-being before or after you left Octavia to get eaten by a snake?” Clarke asked, smiling passive-aggressively. Octavia smiled but tried to pass it off as thinking of something else, but Finn noticed.

“Sorry… Can I go now, princess?” He asked, and stunned Clarke with his arrogance.  _ Not even an ‘I’m sorry for leaving you to die, Clarke. Oh, and staring at nothing but your ass and breasts all the way here.  _

“I’m not your mother, Spacewalker. Knock yourself out, please.” Her snarky words ate him up, and Bellamy was enjoying every second of it. She gestured towards the rope, glaring at him. “Or are you gonna wimp out? Wouldn’t be the first time.”  
“Whatever,” Finn muttered. Bellamy let Clarke sit down, resting her on a rock next to him, and he kneeled beside her. Jasper joined Finn on the ledge, whispering something in his ear Bellamy couldn’t understand. 

“Just hang onto the apogee and you’ll be fine.” Jasper smiled, clearly excited to see what would happen, and Clarke had a feeling he’d be entertained if Finn dumped himself into the river… it would be entertaining for everyone. 

“The apogee… like, the Indians, right?” Finn asked, and Jasper looked anxiously towards the group, then back to Finn, his goggles quivering atop his dark hair. 

“Apogee, not apache.”

“He knows. Today, Finn.” Clarke exclaimed, looking up at then back down to her bloody pants, trying to feel if the bite was poisonous or not. Bellamy whipped his head towards Clarke every time she winced in pain, which was always rare with her. 

"Aye aye, captain." Finn saluted, and just as he was about to let his feet go, Jasper stopped him, glancing at Octavia. 

"Wait. Can I go first?" Clarke thought he would refuse, wanting to look good in front of Clarke, but he smiled, patting Jasper on the back.

"Knew there was a badass in there somewhere," Finn smirked and passed the make-shift rope to Jasper, who was astounded when Octavia smiled at him, clearly charmed because of her blushing face. 

Clarke beckoned Octavia over, grinning now. " _ He's cute. You two are adorable. _ " Clarke whispered, and made sure no one else heard but her. 

"Shut up, Griffin." Octavia giggled, and looked back up at Jasper, gifting him a smile. 

"See you on the other side, Jasper." Jasper saluted to Finn, Monty, and Bellamy before launching his feet off of the ground, cheering and whooping with glee. Clarke grinned and suddenly realized something about Jasper just made her want to befriend him immediately. 

He landed, exhaling when his ankles hit the ground. For a second, she thought he was hurt, but he got up and started chanting. "APOGEE!" 

Finn and Monty hooted, and Finn came closer to Clarke, despite Bellamy blocking her off from him with a glare. "You're next, princess."

Bellamy snorted towards Finn. "Like hell she is, do you see her fucking leg?" Bellamy scoffed, pushing Finn back. "If you'd helped her instead of running away, maybe she wouldn't be limping."

" _ Bellamy.  _ It's fine, I'm going to have to go over there eventually." Clarke sighed, reaching for his hand. Bellamy took it, helping her up. 

"Be careful. And please, Clarke, don't fall." Clarke elbowed Bellamy gently, rolling her eyes. 

"Alright, let's get this over with." Clarke shrugged as if she was talking about the weather. Bellamy smirked, seeing Jasper chant from the other side of the river. 

"Come on, Clarke! YOU GOT THIS!" He screamed, feeding Clarke's delicate ego. She smiled as he continued, and was prepared to let go. "C'MON, CLARKE! LIVE A-"

Jasper was cut off as a haunting  _ slice  _ filled the air, and he collapsed, a spear sticking from his chest. Clarke screamed a blood-curdling screech that would haunt Bellamy, but what was worse, is that her feet slipped, and she nearly flew, but Finn caught her, quickly tearing her from the rope and pushing her down to Bellamy.

"What, no- no, we can't leave him! Look, he's alive! He's breathing, we can't-"

"Clarke, come on!" Bellamy ordered, pulling her behind a rock, and peeking over it as Finn came, dragging Monty along. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks everyone so much for reading and leaving kudos! your comments make my day!


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They thought they were alone down there, they prepared for it; but what happens when that just isn't the case?

"What, no- no, we can't leave him! Look, he's alive! He's breathing, we can't-"

"Clarke, come on!" Bellamy ordered, pulling her behind a rock, and peeking over it as Finn came, dragging Monty along. 

"JASPER! JA-" Bellamy placed his hand over Clarke's mouth and put his finger on his lips. "Bellamy. He's alive, we need to get him."

"That spear was thrown from five hundred feet with on-point accuracy. We need to get back to camp. For all we know, they're being attacked right now." Finn scolded, and pointed towards a tree line, a horizon in the forest of sorts. "On three, run towards the tree line."

"No, my leg… I can't even walk… I'm going to show you guys down, you need to-"

"Clarke, if you're convinced I'm leaving you, you need your brain checked. I can carry you. On three." Bellamy whispered, his tone harsh. "One, two… three."

They launched into action, Clarke crying in Bellamy's arms as the other three kids sprinted, knowing their life depended on it. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my… he's  _ dead. _ " Octavia cried as she ran and suddenly tripped over something. 

"O!" Octavia screamed, holding a skull of sorts.  _ Primitarian skulls?  _ Clarke thought, as Bellamy grabbed his sister, dragging her and handing her to Monty, who pushed her forward. "Run." He ordered and looked down to Clarke, whose wound had reopened slightly, evident by the blood dripping onto Bellamy's hand. "Clarke, are you alright?"

She nodded, wincing with every bounce in Bellamy's arms. "We're here!" Monty announced, turning back to make sure everyone was there. "Is she okay?"

"Wound reopened." Clarke gritted her teeth, taking herself out of Bellamy's arms, limping towards the sudden crowd. "What's going on?" She asked Bellamy, who had rushed ahead, leaving her to Octavia.

"Wells and Murphy are in a knife fight." Octavia scoffed, helping Clarke to witness her former friend holding a teenager in a chokehold, prepared to slit his throat. 

" _ Wells _ ! Let him go, you psychopath!" Clarke spat, rejoicing silently when Wells released Murphy, who immediately charged back, to be held by Bellamy. 

"Hey, let it go. He'll just slit your throat, like the murderer he is." Bellamy muttered, and now it seemed everyone was glaring at Wells, and it made him  _ angry.  _

"Where's the food, princess?" Murphy asked, quickly noticing Clarke's bleeding leg. "Did Blake go berserk on you?" He snickered, but almost immediately, Bellamy was in his face, and Murphy had a new bruise on his face. 

"We didn't make it to Mount Weather," Finn announced, wiping a bead of sweat off of his forehead. 

"Well, what happened then?!" One of Murphy's lackeys asked, -John Mbege- growing closer to Clarke. 

"We were attacked!"

"Wait… Where's the runt with the goggles?" Murphy asked, and from the corner of her eye; Clarke could see Monty wince. 

"Jasper was hit. We're going back for him." Clarke growled, escaping into the dropship slowly with Octavia behind her helping. 

"We're still starving… we need water, we need food." Finn whispered in Bellamy's ear, as creepily as ever. 

"Look at the clouds… rain's coming in by tonight. We just need food… look, you're a tracker, right? Take a crew, make weapons from the ship's scrap, and go hunting. But, one condition…"

"Name it." Finn shrugged, raising his hands. Bellamy got close to Finn, and whispered in his ear:

"Stop staring at my girlfriend's ass, or I promise food won't be the only thing you've gotta worry about." Bellamy snarled and eventually left Finn to his devices, and suddenly, his only thought was Clarke, and if her leg had healed. 

"Fuck." He heard swearing when he entered, and saw Clarke restitching herself, all the while Octavia watched, her face twisting in horror while trying not to puke. She was never good with blood. "Nice of you to join." She muttered beneath her breath, smiling when she saw Bellamy. 

"When are we headed back out for Jasper?" Bellamy asked, and Clarke smiled at him. She thought he would say no, but he was just that admirable. 

"Right… now." Clarke answered, once again finishing her stitching and looking up at Bellamy. 

"Are you sure you can walk on that leg? The stitches could rip again." Clarke nodded, waving Bellamy over. She winced, getting off of the examination table. Bellamy slung her arm over his, until Clarke pulled out two crutches made from dropship metal, and slipped them under her arms. 

"I know I might slow us down a bit, but if you guys find him; I'm the only doctor here. He could die before we get back." Clarke frowned, and Bellamy shook his head, looking his girlfriend in the eyes. 

"You won't slow us down, princess. We need you." Bellamy nodded and helped her back up with the assistance of her crutches. 

"I'm coming with." Bellamy shook his head, keeping his sister in the dropship with an apologetic glance. "We need someone with a brain here, and Monty needs someone to help with his science project or whatever upstairs… something about the bracelets. Make sure no one dies, and that they start building a wall out of the logs… we'll be back in a bit."

Octavia groaned but accepted: climbing to where Monty now resided. "I already dispatched Finn, Murphy, and Wells to the north side of the woods."

"And where are we going?" Bellamy asked… Clarke sighed, looking away from him for a second. "Clarke-"

"We're circling the river. There were footsteps near us Finn spotted, they took him back to our side of the river. He's somewhere here." Clarke thought aloud, and looked back to Bellamy as they continued walking, already well out of camp. 

"What is it?" Bellamy asked, and when he saw the look in Clarke's eyes, he knew what this was about.

"I found your gun, Bellamy. And the blood on it." Clarke whispered, and looked around them, but they were in the middle of the woods. No one was around. "Bellamy, what… what did you do to get on the dropship?"

"Clarke…" Bellamy started, but how could she tell him? Would she understand? "... I…"

"Bellamy, you can tell me. I will always love you, even if you hurt someone. I know you just did it for me." Clarke promised him, and a warmth fled through his cheeks… why was he worried? This was Clarke… he was worried about what Octavia would think. "Just tell me, Bel."

"I… I shot the Chancellor, Clarke." Bellamy croaked, and Clarke felt her skin visually pale.  _ Bellamy did that for me?  _ "Please don't hate me, Clarke."

"You did- you did that for me?" Clarke gasped, and Bellamy nodded, his eyes welling tears. "No, don't cry. I love you, Bellamy. I always will, no matter what."

"You're not mad?"

"I know you didn't want to shoot him, and I know you would never do it without your hand having been forced." Clarke smiled, shifting her weight from foot to foot uncomfortably. "Now, let's go find Jasper. You still have that gun?"

Bellamy nodded, exposing a gun hidden in his pants. "That was a gun? Thought you were just happy to see me." Clarke teased, earning a snort from Bellamy, and he suddenly realized one question: what did he do to deserve her? 

"Shut up, Griffin."

"Don't touch him. It could be trapped." Wells warned, but Clarke ignored him. "What is it?" Wells asked her, as Clarke was the only one who understood Jasper's wounds.

"They… the grounders…" 

"What is it, Clarke?" Bellamy asked, taking her hand. Wells felt a nausea rise in him, but buried it deep, and focused on his dying friend. 

"They cauterized it- the spear wound. They sewed it closed, he… if we get him back to camp, Jasper will survive. Stay here, I'll climb up and get him down." Clarke ordered, which Murphy scoffed at but followed her, disobeying her words. Finn followed close behind him, following Clarke closely. 

"Always following the princess, huh?" Murphy mocked. Bellamy was about to step forward and keep his friend from saying something wrong, but before he could, a lurching  _ snap  _ ricocheted through the air, and Clarke seemingly fell into the ground, grabbing Murphy's hand on her way down. 

" _ Clarke _ ! Pull her up, Murphy!" Bellamy ordered, careful of where he was stepping, but hastily not caring, making towards the two. "Murphy!"

Clarke was struggling, quickly slipping, and finally: Murphy pulled her up, a dangerous flame in his eyes. "T-thanks…"

"Yeah, whatever. Don't think that means I tolerate you." Murphy spat, and turned his vision to Jasper, who was moaning, struggling. Like a rabbit caught in a small hunting noose. "Okay, go get him down." Murphy shrugged towards Clarke, who was already making her way towards Jasper despite Bellamy's protests, and a more cautious pace. 

"So odd… they used medicine on him. Why waste medicine on your murder victim?" Clarke thought aloud, and Finn spoke everyone's thoughts quite clearly. 

"They're hunting something… something big."

"They're  _ hunting  _ us, Spacewalker. They knew we would go after him." Bellamy quickly answered Finn's questions and became more and more anxious while he looked towards Clarke climbing up to Jasper, her bad leg not helping her. 

Clarke's crutches had fallen in the pit, and she was limping, but somehow, she was already up, brushing the hair out of Jasper's face.

"We need to get Goggles down, and get the hell out of here."

"Agreed," Bellamy muttered, waving Murphy over when Clarke began cutting Jasper free. "Take his arm, I've got his legs."

"You're a lucky bastard, Goggles," Murphy muttered under his breath, the boy's weight now on Bellamy and Murphy. 

"Put him on the stretcher, it will-"

A deafening roar bled through the air, and instinctively Clarke grabbed at the knife by her pocket, to find it was missing… Murphy had stolen it, as he was flashing it in his hands, his eyes wary of the source of the roar. “What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know. Stay behind me.” Bellamy sounded to Clarke, who complied; not seeing Wells’ angry look as she stayed behind Bellamy. “Where’s…”

“What is it?” Clarke whispered, and Bellamy looked at her, his face red with anger and strangely enough- fear. “Bel?”

“ _ My gun’s gone _ ,” Bellamy whispered and was followed by another roar- this time, that of a wild cat. 

“It’s an animal.” Clarke realized, and stepped forward, a bag of rations in her hand. “Do you have good aim, Murphy?” He nodded, a roll of his eyes matching his gesture. “While I distract it with the meat-rations, throw your knife,” Clarke ordered, her fingers shaking -with meat inside of them- as a silhouette approached.

Bellamy didn’t like the idea of Clarke’s life  _ literally  _ in Murphy’s hand, and everything in him wanted to pull her back and block the panther away from her, but he buried it down; because he knew that if she didn’t succeed, they’d all be lunch for this cat. 

Clarke met the luminescent eyes of a panther, its golden irises matching her hair. “Murphy…” Clarke whispered, gesturing towards the boy, who seemed to freeze; but Clarke knew what he was doing, he wanted her out of the picture after what she had done the previous day. “Murphy. Murphy.” She repeated, and Bellamy moved towards him, trying not to tip off the animal. 

“Murphy, I swear to God, throw the fucking knife.” Bellamy seethed, and began to grab at him, but was wary of the blade. “ _ Murphy. _ ” 

“Look, princess; I am-”

A gunshot rang through the air, and just as the panther was about to pounce on Clarke, -her fearful expression penetrating Bellamy, begging him to help- it collapsed, the mountain of black furs bleeding in front of the girl. 

Not a second after the panther died, Clarke stormed over to Murphy, her furious glare almost scaring him, though he’d never admit that. “You  _ fucking  _ piece of shit!” She spat, and without warning; punched him square in his nose with such strength he fell over. Bellamy smirked, along with Finn. 

“You’re welcome.” Wells chimed in, and Clarke looked towards him, a bittersweet look on her face- as if she didn’t know whether to stab him or hug him. 

“Thanks…” Clarke muttered, clearly not happy that she had to thank Wells, rather than insulting him or telling him to leave her alone. 

“We can use this for food, the panther isn’t irradiated.” Finn thought aloud and quickly began making yet another stretcher from palm wood and leaves and canvas. “Wells, help me get this on here. You guys get Jasper.”

Jasper was still moaning in pain on the stretcher, next to Murphy, who was rubbing his nose, a dangerous glare sketching itself across his features. “As soon as we get back to camp, I’m going to need to re-sew his wounds closed. He ripped the stitches when he was tied up there.”

“Do you think he’ll make it?” Wells asked, noticeably closer to Clarke then usual. She noticed this too and put distance between them, then answered the hurt Wells. 

“I know he’ll make it, I just need the right supplies. I also need one of you to go hunting in the woods for a plant. I tested certain fauna for medicinal properties, and that plant acts as a fever reducer. There’s also another one that can substitute as a pain-killer.” Clarke talked, pulling a sketchbook from her bag as the boys carried the panther and Jasper. She revealed a sketch of two plants, each one looking more alien than the next.

“Those are good,” Wells commented, and Clarke nodded; barely noticing his comment. As Murphy, Clarke, and Bellamy carried the two bodies; Finn pulled Wells aside. “What?”

“Did you and Clarke ever…”

“No, it wasn’t like that. She’s with Bellamy now.” Wells growled, a clear look of annoyance on his face… 

“So help me out here. Your best friend tells you something fairly explosive, you seem like the type of guy who’d keep it to yourself.” Finn whispered, walking a little off from the others with Wells, who wasn’t meeting Finn’s eyes.  _ He’s hiding something _ . Finn thought. 

“You don’t know me,” Wells responded, his eyes trained on Clarke. Since when did she have a boyfriend? He had always thought she felt the same way, and he had  _ no  _ idea who Bellamy was. He’d come out of nowhere, and Wells didn’t like it one bit. 

He thought Clarke loved him, and now she was shunning him away, even  _ after  _ he’d  _ saved  _ her. All he got was one little: ‘thanks…’ “Do you love her?”

“What- no… she’s with-” Finn lowered his voice, scared what would happen if Bellamy heard. He’d be dead. “I mean… yes… but, she’s with Bellamy. I dunno how, he’s a goddamn assassin. Probably why you hate him, huh?” Finn frowned, and Wells knitted his eyebrows together in confusion. 

“What?” He asked, and Finn stopped, laughing for a moment; until he realized that Wells was serious. “What do you mean, assassin?”

“You- you don’t know?” Finn asked, and laughed again until Finn shook his head. “Bellamy, he… Wells, he shot your dad to get on the dropship. I thought you knew.” 

“ _ What _ ?” The sound that Wells made wasn’t human, it was just  _ pure  _ rage. This boy had  _ killed  _ his father and dared to steal Clarke from him. Before he could think, he was running towards Bellamy, tackling and punching him. Jasper’s cot fell, but Clarke caught it, saving Jasper a head injury. 

“Wells, Wells! What the fuck?!” Clarke yelled pushing Wells off of Bellamy and gawked at him when she saw a cut across Bellamy’s forehead.

“What the fuck was that for?” Bellamy groaned, taking Clarke’s hand and getting up quickly, his calm quickly evaporating. “Calm down, Jaha.” He squinted towards Wells and looked back down towards Jasper, seeing his wound was getting worse. He’d picked up a  _ little  _ medical knowledge from Clarke, mostly because he’d always get into fights on the Ark.

“We don’t have time for this right now, Jasper’s wound will get infected.”

“You killed my father!” Wells screamed, and Clarke looked up; suddenly realizing the more noise they made, the more risk they were at being speared next. Wells looked primal; his rage taking over him. “You took Clarke from me, you killed my father; they’ll kill you when they get down here.”

Clarke knitted her eyebrows in confusion and looked to Bellamy, who seemed to hear the same thing. “I’m sorry- ‘took Clarke from me?’ Wells, I was never yours, and never will be. You made sure of that when you got my father killed. Bellamy has nothing to do with the fact that I don’t ‘love you,’ Wells.” Clarke gawked, wondering if Wells  _ truly  _ thought that or if he was joking her… surely not; she had never given him so much as a wink. “Have you ever considered the fact that you’re just not perfect?”

“I shot your father to get on the dropship with Clarke. He got in the way.” Bellamy grumbled and looked down at Clarke, who was five or six inches below him. He’d always been incredibly tall. “Are you going to quit your temper tantrum so that we can get back to camp?”

“He’s right, there could be grounders out here.”

“No, screw that! You killed my father!”

“He killed my mother,” Bellamy growled, not even bothering to look at Wells as he picked up Jasper’s stretcher along with Finn, while Clarke and Murphy carried the large panther. “Believe it or not, Chancellor; your father deserved that bullet.”

As Wells began to trot towards Bellamy again, Clarke glared back at him, and he paused. He never wanted to seem like such a monster to her, to be better than his father… he’d repeated the same mistakes, and now Clarke hated him, and it was for more than the floating of her father. 

“Jasper, we’re back. We’re gonna have to move you, so it might hurt a bit.” Clarke warned. They had made it back to camp in a horrible silence, with the only sound being Wells trying to decide whether or not to just punch Bellamy again. 

“Bel, I have to look at your eye when we’re done with Jasper.”

“For god’s sake, pay attention to the dying kid,” Wells grumbled, carrying Jasper up to the second floor with a dangerous gleam in his eyes. 

“I’m… sorry about him.” Clarke mumbled to Bellamy, and he put his hands on his hips, kissing her forehead gently with a small smile. “I love you… I need to go now. Make sure everyone’s building that wall?”

“Aye-aye, princess.” Bellamy smiled, squeezing her hand before Clarke disappeared, following Wells. He heard them arguing, but the hatch was soon closed, and he was forced to retreat to the main area of the camp. “Hey, Finn. Clarke needs some plants for Jasper and everyone else is busy.”

“Yeah, sure.” Finn nodded, and Bellamy thought to himself; shocked he even interacted with this guy without being forced. “So… are you mad at Wells? For jumping you?”

“I know Clarke doesn’t love him… I don’t care. The only thing I’m mad about is my goddamn eye.” He babbled, looking back to the dropship one last time before continuing into the forest, a smile on his face. It had been a day… it was real, they were really on  _ Earth _ …

“Sorry about hitting Bellamy.” Wells murmured as Clarke stripped Jasper’s chest, washing it down with a cold rag; prompting the boy to sigh in relief, but soon moan in pain when Clarke began sewing his wounds closed. After a minute of silence, he tried to lighten the mood. “Remember that time-”

“Remember that time you betrayed me and got my father killed? Yeah, me too.” Clarke prattled as Jasper moaned underneath her, with a needle sticking through the large hole in his chest. “But now that you brought it up, -and I didn’t, because I don’t like talking about it-  _ what were you thinking _ ?” Her voice broke, but she still didn’t look up, keeping her eyes focused on the boy dying beneath her. 

“I-I made a mistake, Clarke.” He murmured, pretending to look outside. His jaw clenched, but he could hear Clarke’s tears dropping onto Jasper’s chest from the other side of the ship. 

She laughed, a  _ genuine  _ laugh that escaped from the deepest pit of tragedy in her throat. “‘I made a mistake, Clarke?’ No. Not good enough.” For the first time, Clarke looked up and realized he couldn’t even look at her. You know, I bet you couldn’t  _ wait  _ to run to daddy, tell him everything so he’d finally believe you were the  _ perfect  _ son he always wanted.” 

“What do you want me to say?!” He screamed, and she winced; as if he’d hit her. Her eyes were empty, much like she had become in the last two years. All she had was the Blakes, her lifeline… every night in her cell she’d cry, and wonder if her father’s body would drift past her window.

“I want an explanation!” Clarke whispered, not daring to raise her voice above a hush. The lump in her throat grew larger and larger as memories of her father and mother swarmed her, but most importantly; memories of Wells… she missed having someone besides Bellamy and Octavia to talk to. 

It was soundless beside Jasper's shallowed breathing and moans of pain, and all they did was stare into each other's eyes, begging for an answer to their separate questions. "I can't give you one," He looked down again, and Clarke relinquished the scalpel in her palm. "I thought I could trust him."

She shook her head again, her face breaking as more tears passed down her face. A layer of sweat danced across her white skin, and she sat back on the roofs of her feet; finally giving up. "And I thought I could trust my best friend. "Guess we were both wrong."

"I'm still your friend." He persuaded himself, and she giggled again, but he wasn't fooled. Her laugh was a song of  _ true  _ disbelief and anger, even if she wasn't up for taking the same plan she'd gifted Murphy. 

"No, you're not. If you were my friend, you'd have jumped out of that dropship when you got the chance." She rasped and signaled to the dropship door, not gazing at him. " _ Leave,  _ you're incompetent here." As Wells decamped, she lazed next to Jasper, mourning. Mainly for Jake, but she  _ did  _ miss Wells, something she thought to be a transgression. 

"You do know he loves her, right?" Bellamy jeered, studying Finn with a wide-eyed flash. "What?" Finn reprimanded Bellamy as they probed for a neon red plant hibernating somewhence in the forest, imploring for no one else to show. 

"You don't think I notice every time you look at Clarke's ass or try to be some white knight?" Bellamy saw Finn fidget slightly -clearly nervous- but he reacquired himself, and didn't suffice Bellamy's eyes. "I'm not oblivious, and neither is she. Especially after you pushed her into the lake, then let her get nearly eaten by a lake-monster." 

"I couldn't do anything."

"Bullshit." Bellamy laughed and was about to continue joshing Finn, but was interrupted by the sudden screeching of what he thought to be... birds? Yeah, birds were the word. "You're lucky she wasn't hurt more, or you'd be right there with her." 

"Wait... what is that?" Finn paused, looking up at the sky as if he'd seen something. 

"What are you going on about now?" Bellamy asked until he saw what Finn was gawking at. "What... what is that?" A large cloud of toxic green smoke was hurling itself at the two, but all they saw was a tidal wave of confusion. 

"I have a feeling we don't want to get caught in that. R-run!" Bellamy decreed, promptly cycling his legs, propelling himself away from the gas. "There's a cave over here, come on!" He shrieked, pleased to heed Finn right behind him. Finn was the only tracker they attained from the Ark. 

"Are you okay?" Finn asked, eyeing Bellamy for radiation burns, and slicking his long locks back with an anxious look. The two boys were careful to retreat from the edge of the cave, fearful the smoke would seep in. "What was that fog?"

"I don't know, but I don't think it's good. Do you think... they're probably all fine at the dropship."

"Clarke's fine, Bellamy. She was already in the dropship when we left." Finn picked up on the lines developing in Bellamy's skin but was responded with a shake of the head. 

"Yeah, but the windows, and there are holes in it from the crash. And my sister might've run off. We need to get back there." Bellamy paced the cave, begging for whatever higher power there was for this acid fog to cease. He knew that even if Clarke was perfectly fine, he wouldn't be resting until he could get back. 

"Getting killed isn't going to help. Like it or not, we're waiting this out, Bellamy." Finn grumbled and sat down; his back twisting against the unyielding bulwark of the cave. 

" _ Close the doors _ !" A girl ordered, and suddenly: the entire group of delinquents was hiding in the dropship, the ship sealed. "Clarke, where's Clarke?!"

"She went to get water for Jasper!" A boy responded, and just as Octavia began to panic: Clarke hobbled towards the door of the dropship, her face beginning to turn red with radiation burns. 

" _ Clarke! _ " Octavia shrieked and yanked her inside  _ just  _ as the dropship doors sealed. "Get her upstairs, she needs an ointment on her skin!" Octavia decreed and accompanied her best friend upstairs. Clarke befell into a coughing attack, blood spurting from her lips. "Clarke, can you hear me?"

"What the hell happened out there?!"

"Air... air got thick, couldn't breathe." Clarke huffed out, grabbing a bottle of water from Monty hastily. " _ Can't breathe _ ." She repeated as she swallowed the water down with a wince. Every move of her body resulted in what felt like a gunshot going through her skin again and again. 

"Lie down, rest for a little, Clarke." Monty laid a blanket on a large hammock next to Jasper, but the blonde shook her head and returned to the goggled boy with a determined face. "Clarke!"

"Jasper needs... I need to stitch the rest of his wounds." Clarke choked out, denying Octavia's worried glances. If she could save this boy, that was one less drop of blood on her hands. 

"Where's my brother?  _ Has anyone seen Atom?! _ " Octavia asked, and speedily; Clarke's face sank when she recognized Bellamy could already be gone. "Clarke, where is he?"

"He... he went to get medicine for Jasper." Clarke cried, her shaking hands reaching for a needle and thread to stitch the last of Jasper's wounds. 

"He'll be fine, they were near the caves systems," Monty assured them both. Octavia seemed to accept that, but Clarke marked up; strain gushing through her chest like a gunshot. "Clarke, Jasper will survive, but your hands are shaking right now, and you'll end up hurting him." 

"Take a rest." Octavia nodded, but once again: Clarke shook her off and returned to Jasper, her hands suddenly steady. " _ Clarke _ , you need sleep; you haven't slept since we landed."

"I'm fine, Octavia. Jasper can't wait." Monty shook his head, making it clear they wouldn't win this argument. "Go to the lower level, make sure Murphy doesn't kill someone, please." Octavia shot her a look, but complied, along with Monty. Clarke was omitted with Jasper, who'd grown more tranquil over the day. Nothing was on her mind but Bellamy, and she began to cry again, but kept her hands steady as she operated on Jasper. 

"The fog's let up, let's go," Bellamy whispered to Finn, but he was already running out of the woods before Finn could even get up. What if Clarke was hurt? What if Octavia had gotten stuck in the fog? Could... could they be dead? " _ Come on _ !"

"Okay, okay!" Finn groaned, trying to catch up with Bellamy, but once Bellamy saw the dropship; it was over, and he knocked on the door, a tingling meeting the tips of his fingers. 

"It's Bellamy, open up! The fog's cleared!" He announced, and soon enough: the door opened, and Octavia's face met his. " _ O. _ " He whispered, and Octavia ran into his arms, soon followed by the remainder of the 100 running out of the ship, relief spreading across all of them. "Is Clarke-"

"She didn't make it in at first, her arms are burnt from the radiation of the fog. She's upstairs." Octavia pressed her lips into a thin line, hugging Bellamy once more. As soon as she'd left, Bellamy raced up the ladder, his heart aching.  _ How bad was it? Could I've stopped if I were here?  _

He found Clarke, humming as she fiddled with medical supplies, each touch of the needle meeting Jasper's body hurting her as well. That was Clarke, always working herself to the bone while making sure Bellamy got his eight hours of sleep. " _ Clarke? _ " 

Clarke whipped around, and her face loosened when she saw Bellamy, and she ran towards him; instantly dropping the needle in her hands. "You're alive, you're okay!" She giggled, breathing against him, but when their arms touched, she winced. 

"Are you okay? What happened to your arms?" He questioned, almost disremembering he'd heard seconds ago what happened. Clarke was hurt, and that was all that mattered. "You should be sleeping, you need an ailment on your skin."

"We couldn't go out to get water, and I'm fine. Jasper's been speared, I'll survive."

"Clarke, you haven't slept since they took you from the Skybox. That's two days. Your arms need an ailment, and there's a pail of water right there." Bellamy grimaced, quickly getting a rag and rinsing it in the pail. 

"Oh... I didn't see." She laughed with a small hint of discomfort flooding through her. Deep down, he knew she couldn't care less about her arms, only that she was troubling him and Octavia. "Bellamy, I'm-"

"If you say 'I'm fine' one more time, Clarke..." Bellamy grumbled and brushed her face with his callous hand, her eyes unforgiving. "You need to rest. Jasper's injuries are all stitched up, and there's nothing more you can do but wait for him to wake up." He was correct; Jasper's injuries had all been closed and dressed, and his skin was nearly clear of blood, but... Clarke still felt like she could help somehow, like she could feel valuable. "Please... for me?"

She looked up at him, and those freckles. His dark eyes, and his amazing dark curly hair. "Fine..." She murmured, trudging towards the singular hammock that was draping a few feet from Jasper's body. Bellamy accompanied her, settling the hammock closer to the floor a fair bit. 

His arms wrapped around her, and suddenly: she didn't regret resting. In mere seconds, Bellamy began humming the greek hymn he'd sung to her every night in her cell, and she was asleep, curling back into his chest. 

" _ Goodnight, princess _ ," Bellamy whispered, and soon enough: his eyelids closed, his last vision before he slept being that of Clarke's golden hair. It always smelled like strawberries. Fitting for a princess. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! you know I got you with those back to back updates, just cuz I love you guys! please tell me if you like this/any recommendations in the comments and a kudos! thanks so much!


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is working herself to the bone, swearing that 'Jasper's wounds need to be dressed,' or 'I have to go get more seaweed for poultices.' Bellamy doesn't like it, but what happens when a small girl appears and makes things much, much worse?

Jasper's moans suddenly quieted, and were replaced with a single word: "Monty?" Bellamy awoke and peered towards the boy, who was eerily gazing back at him with dark eyes. "... Bellamy?"

"Jasper, you're alive." Bellamy untangled himself from Clarke's limbs, trying desperately not to wake her. It must have been nine or ten in the morning, due to the altitude of the barely visible sun. His mother had taught him to see the time from the altitude of the sun or moon before she was floated... "Stay quiet, it's the first time I've got her to sleep in days." Jasper nodded, trying to conceal his groans of pain. "Are you thirsty, hungry?" Bellamy asked, keeping his voice in a hush.

"Did everyone else make it out okay?" Jasper asked, and seemed to recline when Bellamy nodded. "Can I have some of that?" He asked, gesturing towards a bottle of whiskey next to the many bloody cotton balls sprawled out across a shelf made from bent metal. 

Bellamy chuckled, but grabbed a canvas bag of water, pressing it to Jasper's lips. "Let's start with the smaller stuff," Jasper swallowed, the beads of sweat laying on his forehead dripping down as he moved. "Is your wound-"

" _ Jasper _ ." Clarke joined Bellamy, getting up much quicker than Bellamy had. Her boyfriend moved to lull her back to bed, but she shook him off, inspecting Jasper's wounds. "Here, eat these. It'll help with the pain." She fed him two leaves of the plants Bellamy and Finn had gone to get, and Jasper quickly relaxed, his breath slowing. "Does anything else hurt? You might've gotten a concussion when Wells and Bellamy dropped you."

"Dropped me?" Bellamy smirked under his breath, earning a small smile from Clarke. Every smile on her counted. "Where's Monty?" Jasper croaked, and Clarke gestured to the lower floor of the dropship. 

"I'll go get him, give you guys some time alone." Bellamy and Clarke both dropped down the ladder, glancing at each other nervously. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah." Clarke nodded, squeezing Bellamy's hand once he made it down. "My arm's feeling a bit better today."  _ Thank God.  _

"Good. We need to find a way to be prepared in case that fog comes back... tents could work." Bellamy thought aloud and Clarke nodded, brushing her hair back into a ponytail. "Your hair looks pretty like that."

She reddened, and kissed him on the cheek, leading him out of the dropship. "Thanks... I'll go find Monty, you should check up on Octavia." Her face was still blushed, her hand dragging Bellamy along. It seemed like they didn't have time to be  _ normal  _ suddenly, the two were both so anxious about the hundred, and Octavia, and now Jasper... 

"As you wish." He nodded, kissing her hand like she was a proper princess before the two split into different directions, both somewhat aching to be on the Ark again, but another, wilder part of them reveling in the terrifying freedom they had been suddenly granted. 

"Princess..." Finn approached her, a tough expression meeting hers. "Can I talk to you a sec?"

"Uh, yeah- I guess." Clarke shrugged, confusion spreading through her, and it was evident on her face. "Is everything okay?" Finn stayed silent until they were nearly outside of the camp's walls, truly alone. " _ Finn _ . What's wrong?"

"You've been pretty hard on Wells." Finn conceived, a serious look hiding between his dark, chocolatey eyes.  _ Is he serious?  _ Clarke thought, and she scoffed, unsure of what to say. It  _ had  _ to be Wells, he was the only one she'd told. 

"Hardly."

"Well, he loves you: you know that... right?" She opened her mouth to say something, a thin layer of sweat dancing along her skin. "But... every time your dad comes up, he won't give you a straight answer. It makes me think he's hiding something."  _ Where is he going with this?  _ Clarke asked, but her brain already knew his point.  _ He doesn't think Wells snitched on my dad... _ "So, I gotta ask you: how sure are you that Wells was the that turned in your dad?"

Her eyes snapped to his, her lips slightly parted in confusion. "One hundred percent, alright? He's the only one I told." She whispered with a voice drowning in guilt. If she'd never told him... would her father still be here? Would Bellamy and Octavia still be on the Ark? Would she be with her parents, happy parents? 

Finn's eyebrows knitted together, almost as if he was picking his next words carefully. "Is he the only one who knew?" A silence lingered through between them as their eyes failed to meet each other, Clarke looking down at the mossy dirt. An ant squirmed under her shoe, and she pondered the question in her mind... 

_ It had to have been him... it has his name written all over it. The only other person who knew was my mom, but she would never have... Oh my God... would she have?  _ A scream rang through the air, tearing Clarke's train of thought from her. "Who was that?"

"It's from the outside of the gate." Finn murmured, rushing to one of the gates, scrambling out of the camp's walls with Clarke close behind. "It's the kid."

" _ Charlotte. _ What's-" Clarke knew the young girl from the day prior, when she was having a nightmare. They'd sat down for a small bit of time when Clarke was retrieving water. 

_ "What's your name?" _

_ "I'm Charlotte." The small girl muttered, not looking at the older girl. Clarke saw the hint of a tear strolling down her face, and she forced her to look in Clarke's eyes, brushing it away.  _

_ "I'm Clarke... do you want to talk about it?" It was silent for a moment, but Charlotte's quivering voice eventually broke the lonely sounds of crickets chirping and the cries of birds in the late night.  _

_ "It's my parents... every night I see- I see them in the airlock, and their bodies fly away into space." She whispered, causing Clarke to take the girl's hand and squeeze it tightly. "I only see his face, the Chancellor." _

_ "You know, my dad was floated, too," Clarke susurrated, their eyes meeting again.  _

_ "Really?" Clarke nodded, and this time; the girl squeezed  _ Clarke's  _ hand, a comfortable silence falling between them. _

" _ Yeah... you just have to- to slay your demons. Take your fear and tell it it doesn't matter. All that matters is if you choose to accept it, or go on with your life."  _

_ "Thank you," Charlotte smiled for a second and laid her head down in Clarke's lap, falling asleep to the same song Bellamy hummed for her each time she awoke from a nightmare, lulling her to sleep.  _

"Oh my God!" Clarke clasped her hand over her mouth after she saw the sputtering body of one of Bellamy's friends... Atom. Murphy, Bellamy, and their gang had almost become leaders in a sense, with Clarke as the logistic side of the leadership... they'd acted together in getting the bracelets of each delinquent shut off, but always distributed them to Monty, trying to get in contact with the ship in an ironic sense. No luck yet. "Get her out of here." She whispered to Finn, who complied, gently pulling Charlotte back into the gate, scanning for grounders around them with every step. 

"Atom, it's- it's Clarke... remember, Clarke Griffin?" She asked, and he nodded, grimacing with every movement. His eyes had stirred into a cloudy gray, and his strawberry-red skin was dirtied with welts and scabs. Blood was coated across his fingers, most likely from the slices on almost every limb.

She caught footsteps behind her and shifted to see Bellamy, his mouth shaped into an 'o.' "Bellamy, it's... he must've gotten trapped in the fog. I don't know how he survived this long." Clarke lowered her voice as Bellamy ambled over, his knife shielded in his pants' pocket. 

"Atom, can you hear me?" He asked, and once again: Atom nodded with a face of repentance and utter torture. The boy whispered something foreign into Bellamy's ear, and Clarke observed Atom up and down, letting Bellamy know she couldn't do anything with a pitiful shake of her head. 

"Hey, I'm going to help you, okay? You're going to be fine... it's just a little radiation." Clarke smiled, trying her best to mask the lump in her throat when she seized Bellamy's knife. With an awful silence, she began humming Bellamy's lullaby, and with shaking fingers: she drove the knife into Atom's neck, a stray tear pulling her face down. 

Bellamy watched with a bittersweet horror but gratefulness... he wouldn't have been able to do that. Clarke was so strong, but by the tears on her face, it was no simple task for her either. "Clarke..."

"We need to bury him." She sniffled, wrenching the blade from his throat. Bellamy moved around Atom's body, laying his arm around Clarke and massaging her back, attempting to comfort her. Her fingers brushed his eyelids, closing them. "Wait..."

"What is it?" He asked, his voice quiet. Clarke's fingers brushed Atom's leg, tears slumbering down her face. "Clarke?" He asked, his voice hoarse... how would he explain this to Octavia? She'd fallen in love with Atom, and he'd strung the boy up, like a piece of meat... she'd be heartbroken. Maybe Clarke could do something: she was good with words when he was much more of a fighter, not a lover. Except for her and Octavia. 

"He has cuts on his arms and legs. They're-they're from a knife... Bellamy, the grounders did a portion of this." She whispered, seeing a sudden twist of horror in Bellamy's face, and then anger. "We need to assign guards, keep the wall defended."

"No, Clarke- we need to be offensive! They killed one of our own, attacked Jasper! Hell, they could've been involved in Trina and Pascal!" Bellamy yelled, careful not to startle Clarke, but show how angry he was. These people were attacking them for  _ no  _ reason, and they didn't even give the hundred a chance to make peace. "... we need weapons."

"Bellamy, I agree with you, but the truth is: we can't fight these people. We'd have two-inch knives and they would have three-foot spears and bows. Like it or not, we'd be getting into a war we  _ can't  _ win, not until the Ark comes down." Clarke mumbled as Bellamy scooped Atom's body up in his arms, his voice shriveling at the smell of blood and pumice on his skin. 

"That's going to change soon. We need Monty to make the Ark sends us weapons."

"And actual medicine. We're using leaves for painkillers..." Clarke mumbled, trying to keep her eyes averted from Atom's limp body. His arm was stretching in a way no human limb should, and his arms were decorated with little white beads of pus and blood. 

"What are we going to do about... Octavia." Bellamy breathed when he saw his sister approaching, the jacket, and shadows masking Atom's face. Bellamy slowly laid the boy down as murmurs spread across the crowd, spreading like a wildfire. 

"Clarke, Jasper's okay!"

"I know, I actually need help getting some medicine. Could you- Octavia, come-" Clarke was cut off as Octavia spotted the body slouched across the floor in front of Bellamy. Chatter filled the group as she shoved past Clarke, peering at her brother in uncertainty and apprehension. "Octavia." 

"Octavia, stay back-just... please, stay back." Bellamy beckoned her back, his eyes closing for a moment in shame.  _ Could he have done something to save Atom? Maybe if I didn't send him out hunting...  _ They fought, their arms scrambling against each other. Bellamy was too tired and too shameful to fight. 

"Bellamy, Bel-  _ stop _ ." She sounded, clearly confused. Her voice went high like when it did when she was stressed, and she pushed past him, all of the delinquents' eyes on the two siblings. 

She bent down next to the body, her hand stretching out towards the jacket covering its face, but she already knew who it was from the curly black hair jetting out from above the hoodie. With a shaky breath, she pulled the jacket up, seeing his bloody, radiation-stained face. " _ Atom _ ." She whispered, her hands caressing his face for a second, and she was in her own world, one she once shared with him. 

"There was nothing I could-"

" _ Don't _ ." She cried, two stray tears rolling down her face as everyone around them instantly cried, and now the two siblings were in their war. She bent closer to him, but retreated; pulling the jacket back up against his skin, more tears streaming down her face now. 

"O, O... please!" She pushed past him again, her pace much quicker now. Clarke looked at the girl, knowing all too well what this felt like, maybe she was the only person at camp who could somehow make Octavia feel better... what would Octavia do if she knew Clarke was the one who killed Atom? Would she still look at her? 

"Don't." She repeated, her voice breaking as she looked at Clarke. The older girl opened her eyes, and surprisingly enough, Octavia hid in Clarke's arms as they retreated to the dropship, Octavia's cries the only sound in the camp. 

As the camp began to return to normalcy again, Murphy approached Bellamy and the body that lied beside him. "Lose anyone here?" Bellamy asked, his eyes not being able to look away from the carcass beneath him. Murphy shook his head, sniffling and snarking in his head at the younger Blake. 

"No."

"Jasper?" 

"Awake, barely. Tried to take him out, but your psycho little sister-" At once, Bellamy grabbed Murphy by the throat, shoving him around until he fell on his knees, besides Atom's bloodied face. "Bellamy-"

"My  _ what _ , my  _ what _ ?!" Bellamy bellowed, anger suddenly blocking his vision. His curls shook as he pulled Murphy up again, their faces barely an inch apart. Once again, the delinquents' had silenced, nearly cowering under Bellamy:  _ no one  _ messed with Bellamy when he was angry. Sometimes, even Clarke could barely calm him down. 

"... your little sister." Murphy's voice was quick and snide, the guilt and anger on his face quickly spreading, but he knew not to reveal what he wanted to do to Bellamy. The boy broke himself from Bellamy, the two prisoners staring each other down in a constant war. 

"That's right, my little sister. Got anything else you wanna say about her?" His voice was dangerous and as low as the sun at twilight. His eyes were always empty when talking to Murphy because he just couldn't bother or want to care about whatever it was they were discussing. 

"Nothing. Sorry." Murphy spoke, his voice nearly as low as Bellamy's. Bellamy looked back down to Atom, then to John Mbege, sudden self-awareness of how many people had seen him nearly break Murphy's arm...  _ What is this planet doing to me?  _

"Get him out of here." His voice was hoarse as he trudged to his tent, not bothering to look at any of the many faces staring him down like he had four heads...  _ Is Octavia going to forgive me?... Can Clarke do that?...  _

"I loved him, Clarke... I really-I loved him." Octavia's voice broke as Clarke braided her hair back, the two laying on a hammock on the upper deck of the dropship together. "I thought... I thought he was..." Octavia stopped, crying into Clarke's chest. 

"Sh, sh... it's okay, Octavia. You're not alone in this- you have me, and you have your brother. He may be a total  _ ass  _ half the time, but he loves you. Every stupid thing he does is for you." Clarke whispered into her best friend's ear, her voice soothing Octavia to the point her tears dried. 

"I love you, Clarke," Octavia whispered, hugging Clarke tighter as the older girl dropped her braid, and hugged her back, tears suddenly emerging in the blonde's eyes. 

"I love you, too..." It was silent for around five minutes until Clarke gasped, her hand clasping over her mouth. 

"Clarke? Are you okay?" Octavia asked, half-asleep. 

"I'll be... I'll be right back, I need to do something." Before Octavia could respond, Clarke scrambled out of the hammock and was out of the dropship in ten seconds. She heard the sound of a shovel tearing into the earth, and knew it was Wells, the only one who bothered to dig graves for their dead. 

She approached him slowly, and she looked as if she were in a daze. "I... I know I probably don't deserve it, but I need to know the truth." His eyes widened, but they could barely see each other in the dark. She looked at him, her blue eyes even deeper under the moonlight. "... it was my mom... wasn't it? She's the one who told your dad."

Wells stayed silent, staring at the ground, the trees,  _ anything  _ but Clarke. Even though he wasn't answering, his face said it all. "I didn't want to believe it, I-I couldn't." Her voice broke, and tears started to stream down her cheeks. Her mother had murdered her father, then let her best friend take the blame for it. "I blamed you because of my father's death and it was my mother's fault." She croaked, and she just wanted to hug him and wanted to make her mother feel it. "... isn't it?" She asked, her voice a whisper. "Wells...  _ please _ ." She begged as he moved his head from side to side, unsure of what to say. He just wanted to protect her. 

"I knew how you would feel." He finally broke the silence and a whole new river of tears swam down her porcelain skin... she'd been living with a murderer. "I wanted to-"

"Protect me." She nodded, the skin at the ends of her nose creasing as she cried. For a second she smiled, and then she thought of how much hatred she'd handed him on a silver platter, how many insults she'd spat at him when he was  _ saving her life _ . "So you let me hate you."

Wells' expression was blank, but his eyes were now welling with tears at how small her voice sounded. "... what are friends for?" He asked, not expecting her to run into his arms, hugging him so tight he could barely breathe. This was when he started crying but made sure to conceal that from her... he didn't want her thinking of him like that. 

"How can you forgive me?" She asked, her voice as weak as a twig. Her skin was damp with tears, and she was still hugging him as tightly as she could, scared to let go. 

He smirked for a second and breathed for what felt like the first time in months- no, years. " _ This is already done _ ." He exhaled, hugging her back. Tears rolled down his jacket as she sobbed against him, her tears soaking the small of his back. 

It must have been hours that they stood there, Clarke just crying in his chest until she felt the wave of exhaustion hit her, and she muttered a good night, planting a firm kiss on his cheek. He smiled, and trotted to his guard station, much happier and much more relieved now. 

"... smooth." Monty coughed as he passed the bottle of whiskey to Octavia, who'd eventually gotten up from her hammock, begging for Jasper to wake up once again. He'd fallen asleep after Clarke and Bellamy checking on him this morning, and hadn't woken soon. 

_ "Don't worry until tomorrow morning,"  _ Octavia remembered Clarke's voice in her head, and sighed, taking a swig from the teal whiskey bottle. They'd found it in the bowels of the dropship... it... lowered the stress in the small ship. She swallowed the alcohol with a wince and passed it to Finn, a smile spreading across her lips. 

"Disgusting, I love it." As Finn pressed the bottle to his lips, a small voice echoed through the dropship, doing wonders for both Monty and Octavia's apprehensive faces. 

"Can I, uh, get a hit of that?" Jasper smiled, and the trio instantly scrambled over to Jasper. He weakly smiled at them, unsure which was which until he saw Monty's smiling face dangling above him. 

"Let's start with the soft stuff." Finn murmured, quickly pressing a bottle of water to Jasper's lips, three long sighs escaping the teenagers' lungs...  _ He's going to be okay.  _ Octavia thought, her smile endless. 

"Welcome back, buddy."

"Was that a dream, or did I get speared?" Clarke suddenly was climbing up the ladder, smiling at Jasper.

"You'll have a very impressive scar to prove it."

"My savior!"

"Thank you... for not dying. I don't think I could've taken that today." She whispered, drawing a squint of the eyes from Octavia, but she ignored it as Jasper laughed a weak but happy sound. 

"I'll try not to die tomorrow, too, if that's cool." Jasper smiled, before almost instantly falling asleep, leaving Clarke to breathe. 

"Nice."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading! this series has really kicked off, we already have 1.4k reads, and a week ago we only have 500! thanks so much for all the love, there'll be another update very soon!


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Slay your demons...' Clarke never thought that sequence would be one she'd have to listen to in days more than ever.

As the crickets chirped, Wells turned around to see a young girl- maybe eleven or twelve approach him, a frown on her face. "Hello." He smiled, his voice gentle and sweet. He always loved watching the stars settle in the morning, but it was even more breathtaking on Earth. "Couldn't sleep?"

"I never can." The girl admitted, sitting next to Wells.  _ Charlotte. The girl who screamed for Atom before.  _ Wells realized, and he smiled, pitying how young the girl was. "You on watch?"

"Join me." He spoke softly due to the early morning. His eyes betrayed him, and he didn't notice that the girl was bending one arm behind her back. Charlotte sat beside him, her breathy quick and uneven. Her eyes were darting between the ground and Wells, unsure of which to look at. 

"I had a nightmare." She admitted, her voice high and small. Charlotte's hair was braided back behind her head, but it had been doused with sweat, and even blood... most likely from Atom. "Mhm." 

"I-I have them every night. But... I think I found a way to make them stop." She smiled for a second, not able to look at Wells. Her eyes were reflected with the fire that was the sunset, as Wells observed her, trying to decode her. 

A sudden snap of a branch led Wells' head astray as his irises scanned for an animal, grounder: whatever noise had emerged from the deep of the woods. " _ I'm sorry _ ," Charlotte rustled as suddenly, a blade met Wells' throat with a terrifying _ slash.  _

Blood splattered across Wells' shirt as he reached out for her, his breath suddenly racing.  _ What the fuck?! Help, someone help!  _ " _ No _ !" She squealed as Wells reached for her knife, but was only met with more pain as two of his fingers fell against the mossy ground, meeting his horrid gasps for air. 

He fell, speaking in nothing but rancid moans and screeching gasps. Charlotte remained silent, dragging her knees to her chest and trying not to look at Wells' choking body. He suddenly stopped moving, with one  _ last  _ thought:  _ Clarke... I love you. _ His body fell still, and the woods fell quiet besides the rare song of a chirping bird. 

"Every night I see him... your father. He kills my parents, and- and I wake up and see yours... and the nightmare never ends. The only way to make it end was to-to slay my demons. I had to." She sobbed, tears dripping down her face as she began to hum to herself, the melody shaking in a rhythm. 

The forest was silent except for Clarke's quiet tears. She choked the lavender flowers in her wrist, dropping them on the large grave.  _ He was just... he was just here. He was right here. _ She lowered her head, silent. Suddenly, footsteps approached her and she whipped around, drawing a knife to the throat of her attacker. " _ Bellamy. _ " 

"You shouldn't be out here alone, princess. What if I was a grounder?" He asked, his voice low. She turned around, not even facing him. Her fingers scrambled to hide her knife in her pocket, as Bellamy continued. "... they got Wells just outside the wall." 

"You're right, we need weapons. We need spears, we need more knives." Clarke grumbled, and Bellamy stepped closer, his frown deep and his jaw clenching. "They're going to pay for this."

"I thought you hated him." His voice was soft, and he walked closer, finally taking her in his arms. He wrapped her up, shrouding his jacket around her T-shirt. 

"I didn't-I didn't tell you..." She murmured against his back, and tears began to dampen his shirt as she cried against him. Eventually, she moved away, facing Bellamy's dangerous eyes. His irises were dark and penetrating her own eyes with a look of pity. He wasn't sure what to do. 

"Tell me what, princess?" He asked, his hands meeting hers and squeezing them, providing what little comfort he could spare her... he wasn't the best at this. 

"Bellamy, he... it wasn't him. My mom was the one who told Jaha about my dad..." She croaked, her voice breaking half-way through the sentence.  _ Jesus Christ... Abby couldn't be a shitter mother... poor Clarke.  _ "He let me hate him so that I wouldn't hate my mother." She whispered, her eyes meeting the grave dug in front of her. 

"I'm so sorry, Clarke," Bellamy murmured in her ear, taking her in a hug once more, this time squeezing her harder, trying to keep all that was bad in this horrifying, beautiful planet away from her... she didn't deserve any of this, and neither did Wells. He truly was just  _ that  _ good. 

"My mother  _ killed  _ my father." She sobbed, her lips parting as tears screeched down her face, desperate to get out: to escape. A deep hunger in her strived to get revenge, to spark what little part of her mother that cared for her, to make it suffer. "I just wish there was... something I could do, to tell her I know, make her feel what I'm-"

She paused and looked into Bellamy's eyes. "What is it?" He asked, his voice stretching like nails against a chalk-board.  _ You idiot, just tell her you love her. Tell her it will be okay, DO SOMETHING.  _ A look of realization dawned across her face, and suddenly: she was walking away, nearly jogging back into camp. "Where are you going?"

"To make her feel it." She called, Bellamy quickly following her. 

"I... I did it.  _ I did it. _ " Monty laughed, gawking at the bracelet like it was a stack of gold. "It's still operational."

Clarke looked up, and it was clear she didn't care whether or not the bracelet worked, she just wanted to make her mother suffer, and she finally had the power to do so. Clarke smiled as Monty walked away, and then met Bellamy's eyes: a look that wasn't quite readable to her, which was rare with Bellamy. They knew each other so well. "What? Monty needed a working wristband."

"And you needed to punish your mother." Bellamy nodded, allowing Clarke to meet his eyes.  _ I love you so much, Clarke; but this isn't you. Okay, good... now just say it out loud.  _ "Are you sure that's what you want? To make her think you're dead?"

"They're running out of air, and we need their help to make weapons for the grounders," Clarke muttered, looking at Bellamy. "Is Octavia better... after last night?" Classic Clarke Griffin, push everything down and care about everybody while not giving herself a second of the day.

"Are you okay, Clarke? You know you can tell me everything. I love you." Bellamy pulled her aside, giving her that classic 'we both know you're lying' look, but knowing damn well to never push her... it never ended well. "I know you miss him, you don't have to hide anything."

"Bellamy. I love you too, and I'm fine. I'm just focusing on keeping the alive people that way... I'll have later to worry about myself." She shrugged, walking out of the dropship before nearly falling after Octavia ran into her. "Octavia?" Jasper and Octavia were wearing horrified faces, but she managed to squeak out four words.

"Bellamy's tent,  _ right now _ ." She whispered. Bellamy and Clarke shared a look, but took each other's hands, giving each other a small squeeze of fear. 

As the four delinquents piled into the fairly large tent, a silence lingered over them, and Bellamy noticed Clarke was holding something in her palm. "What is it, O?" Bellamy was the first to break the silence, but his voice was low, scared of what was concealed in the cloth hiding in Octavia's hand. 

Octavia placed the cloth on Bellamy's table, opening it slowly. Clarke's breath hitched, as she grabbed for the knife laying next to Wells' dark fingers, lying on the table. Bellamy crossed his arms and realized everyone was waiting for Clarke to make a move. "This knife was made of metal from the dropship." She murmured, looking to the rest of her friends, a look of horror on her face.

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked, his eyes bugging out of his head. His hair was ruffled, and a stray leave clung to his jacket like a lifeline. 

"Who else knows about this?" Bellamy demanded, his voice shaded in a gruff tone. He shifted his weight from foot to foot, keeping his eyes on Clarke... for once, he thought she'd be okay, get the happiness she was warranted, and then something like this happens, and it all goes to shit. 

"No one, we brought it straight here," Octavia answered, looking up at brother, asking him:  _ what do we do?  _ Jasper spoke again, his voice weak and scared.

"Clarke?" 

"It means the grounders didn't kill Wells... one of us did." Her voice shook, and Bellamy passed the room, putting his arm around her, stroking her back. 

"So there's a murderer in the camp?" Jasper asked, his eyes appearing to pop out of his head. Clarke scraped her fingers over the knife, and her blood went cold. She studied Bellamy, who countered with a small voice.

"There's more than one murderer in this camp." Bellamy pointed out, as much as he hated to say it. "This isn't news, we need to keep this quiet." Clarke ripped his arm from around her neck, racing towards the exit, but he got in her way, his apologetic look screaming her the words 'sorry.' 

"Get out of my way, Bellamy."

"Be smart about this. Look at what we've achieved, the patrols, the wall." Bellamy whispered, knowing he would pay for this later.  _ I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Clarke.  _ "Like it or not, thinking the grounders killed Wells is good for us."

"Good for you, you mean. What- keep people afraid and they'll work for you?" She scoffed, and she could feel that familiar lump in her throat only growing and growing.  _ Why doesn't he have my back? Isn't he supposed to agree with me?  _ "Is that it?"

"Yeah, that's it." He nodded, trying to keep his expression neutral. They weren't even talking and he could see the hurt in her expression, the betrayal painted all across his face. Octavia and Jasper remained silent, unsure of how to interject. "But, it's good for all of us. Fear of the grounders is building that wall. I just want to keep us safe, Clarke. You know I don't agree with myself here, but it's true. We're safer with that wall. Besides, what are you going to do- just walk out there and ask the killer to step forward? You don't even know whose knife that is."

She pulled it forward, and at first: he thought he would stab him with it, but her fingers underlined two letters scrawled into the knife. "Oh, really?  _ J.M.  _ John Murphy." The room suddenly grew much more silent, and Bellamy's face twisted, and he realized Clarke would only get herself killed. "The people have a right to know." She hissed, pushing past him. He only followed her, muttering in her ear:

"Fine, but I'm coming with you. If he's a murderer, he could be dangerous."

"No shit, Bellamy." Octavia broke in, and suddenly she was standing beside them as Clarke ran towards Murphy, sprinting out of Bellamy's reach.  _ Well, shit.  _

" _ You son of a bitch _ !" She screamed, nearly stabbing him as she shoved him onto the ground, quickly clearing the space around the two. Murphy scoffed, looking up at the girl with a dangerous hatred. Bellamy was behind her before the long hand on Clarke's watch moved. 

"What's your problem?" He laughed, quickly getting up and dusting the dirt from his clothes off. 

"Recognize this?" She asked, holding her knife up for everyone to see as Charlotte sewed a cloth in the background, trying to keep her face down.  _ They don't know it was you. Calm down.  _

"It's my knife, where'd you find it?" He questioned, grasping for it back, but she was keen enough to evade him, nearly slicing his palm open. 

"Where you dropped it after you  _ killed  _ Wells!" She announced, and in an instant: the camp grew silent, and it seemed everyone was now watching the small group in the heart of the camp. Murphy was still for a moment, a strand of hair blocking his left eye, but Clarke could see the fury in his pupils. 

"Where I what?" He demanded, the campers around them forcing Clarke and Murphy into a closefitting circle with Bellamy inches from Clarke, his arms crossed and his signature grimace worn on his freckled, tan skin. "The grounders killed Wells, not me." He proclaimed, watching the delinquents encompassing them. All of them had the same words on their lips:  _ what did you do?  _

"I know what you did..." She got closer, their faces now inches apart. "... and you're gonna pay for it." She nodded, her grip tightening around the knife in her hands. Murphy scoffed, looking to Bellamy and the group behind him.  _ They don't believe this stuck up bitch? _

"Really? Bellamy, you really believe this crap?" He laughed, but his smile died on his lips when Bellamy didn't so much as blink, clearly in full support of the blonde princess. 

"You threatened to kill him, we  _ all  _ heard you!" Clarke screamed, the tension between the two rapidly growing as Murphy raised his hands to his hips, looking between Clarke and Bellamy, almost as if this was one huge joke. "You  _ hated  _ Wells."

"Plenty of people hated Wells..." He stated matter-of-factly, raising his voice as he remembered the group: "His father was the Chancellor that  _ locked us up _ !"

"Yeah, but you're the only one who got in a knife fight with him!" Clarke laughed, her grip suddenly tightening on the small metal in her hands. Charlotte tried to keep her head down -as always- but her efforts were proven useless when Murphy suddenly shoved Clarke back, provoking Bellamy to take a step closer, his arms wrapping around Clarke's shoulder. 

"Yeah, but I didn't kill him then either," Murphy whispered, his eyes averting everyone staring at him; but with everyone staring him down, it was proven difficult. 

"Tried to kill Jasper too!" Octavia stated, catching Jasper off guard, prompting him to whisper a small:

" _ What?"  _

"Come on, this is ridiculous: I don't have to answer to you... I don't have to answer  _ to anyone _ !" He screamed but stopped in his tracks when Bellamy stepped closer to him.

"Come again?" He asked, and as Murphy stepped past Clarke, moving to Bellamy: the crowd behind him moved closer as well as if they all shared the same brain. 

"Bellamy, look, I'm telling you, man. I didn't do this." He muttered, pulling Bellamy close. 

"They found his fingers with  _ your  _ knife." Bellamy shook his head, clearly not buying into a word that Murphy had spouted as of then. As Murphy looked back to Clarke: she moved closer, raising her voice.

"Is  _ this  _ the kind of society we want?! You say there should be no rules, does that mean we can  _ kill  _ each other without- without punishment?" She asked, and was surprised when the delinquents murmured in agreement, moving towards Murphy with an angry expression. 

"I already told you, I didn't  _ kill  _ anyone!" Murphy retaliated, striding back towards Clarke; but was interrupted by a dark boy whom he had fought earlier that day. A dark bruise decorated the boy's face, and soon enough; the boy was chanting. 

"I say we float him."

" _ Yeah _ ." Several other voices agreed, but Clarke's face twisted in horror, as she shook her head, pushing the boy back from Murphy. Their bodies were inches apart, and it seemed Murphy was getting closer to Clarke every second. 

"That's not what I'm saying." Clarke refused, but the bruised boy shook his head, shrugging his navy hoodie. 

"Why not? He deserves to float! It's justice." The boy yelled, raising his arms to the other kids, who all chanted in agreement, and soon enough, the crowd was dense with Clarke, Murphy, and Bellamy at the center. 

"Revenge  _ isn't  _ justice!" Clarke moaned, but was swiftly obstructed in abject awe when the other delinquents chorused:

" _ Float him, float him, float him!"  _ In a second of hastily planned fury, Murphy advanced towards Clarke, but Bellamy pulled him back, tripping him. And in an instant: the crowd moved in, punching and kicking Bellamy with each second passing by. Bellamy pulled Clarke just as she began to trip herself, steadying her next to him. 

"Stop it!  _ Get off him _ !" Clarke screamed, but her voice was drowned out in the chorus of groans and appealing sound of thrusts and plaints. Murphy was barely visible in all of the people swarming around him, hungry for a taste of him. Octavia tried to run into the mosh-pit of people, but Bellamy held her back as well, now keeping both Clarke and Octavia not an inch from him. " _ Let him go _ !"

In a matter of seconds, Murphy was gagged with blood-red belts from the dropship and was being dragged towards the forest by the same boy who had started the fight -no, not fight, execution- in the first place. 

The entire one hundred was moved to the woods as Murphy was thrown onto the dirt, his body keeling and rolling over and over until he stopped. Although, he only had a second of reserve: for his the other delinquents engaged him in a millisecond, hurling more punches to his profile. " _ Stop it _ !" Bellamy yelled, watching as a rope was thrown over a tree's strong branch. " _ Stop!"  _

"You animals, stop!" Clarke cried, trying to get back in the center to Murphy, but once again: she was held back by Bellamy.  _ They're going to kill him _ . 

Mud covered Murphy to the point that he nearly camouflaged into the dirt beneath his bloodied, beaten body. "You can't do this!" She sounded, but it was useless. Above their fight, everything was mute besides for Murphy's muffled screams of panic. 

The original boy was shoving Clarke back, but Bellamy shoved him back into the dirt, putting Clarke behind him. "Are you okay, Clarke?" She ignored him, trying to get closer to the center: to Murphy...  _ It's no use... these animals are going to execute him. They're going to float him.  _

"Bellamy, do something!" She pleaded. He too tried to get to the core of the fight as Murphy was slowly strung up, dangling in the tree like a banner.  _ This is insane.  _

"Stop this! This is murder!" He screamed, but it wasn't silent until one of the boys approached Bellamy, hushing the crowd. "You don't need to do this."

"You should be the one to do it, Bellamy." Eventually, they were all chanting his name, begging for him to hang Murphy, but he knew that he wouldn't be doing that. Unlike many at this camp, he wasn't a murderer. " _ Bel-la-my! Bel-la-my! Bel-la-my! Bel-la-my!"  _ They chanted, but he stayed exactly where he was, and the crowd quieted, giving him a chance to speak. 

"This is murder, this isn't justice. Let him go. Let us have a fair say!" Bellamy yelled, but it was too late. A crack filled the air, and before anyone could do anything: Murphy was hanging, his gasps and chokes drowned out by cheers and screams of joy. 

Swiftly filling the fight: Finn was there, screaming for the beasts to let him down. "Charlotte, get out of here! Get her out of here!" There was more screaming until everyone stopped, frozen by the haunting ten words of the small girl standing right next to Clarke. 

" _ JUST STOP IT, OKAY?! _ " The crowd quieted, and everyone gave Charlotte a chance to speak, an ironic horror considering the teenager hanging behind them. "Murphy didn't kill Wells,  _ I did! _ "

"Oh my God," Clarke whispered, grabbing the axe from Bellamy's pants and slicing the rope tying Murphy to the mossy tree, allowing him to drop to the ground with a sickening  _ crunch  _ of his legs. Murphy screeched as dozens of people rushed to him, cutting him loose of his bounds.  _ Oh, now they fucking care.  _

Clarke was frozen, her gaze not leaving Clarke's.  _ This is my fault, I told her to face her demons... she couldn't kill Jaha, so she killed... Oh, my God.  _ "Charlotte..." She whispered her voice one of guilt and shame. Charlotte looked up at her, and the worse part was: she didn't even look that sorry. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! I'm currently having internet issues since I live in long island and we have the most cases, we don't have great internet here, so if I don't upload, don't assume I'm dead.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte just wanted to slay her demons, but what happens when she takes it a little too literally?

"That's- Charlotte… that's not what I meant!" Clarke groaned, pacing the room quickly while Finn and Bellamy remained silent. "You could have talked to me: you didn't need to  _ slit Wells' throat. _ "

"I'm sorry…" Charlotte squeaked. "I'm scared…" She murmured, and Clarke sighed. This was her best friend's murderer, but someone she was pitying her. 

"Look, we're going to help you. Murphy isn't going to get to you." Bellamy promised, slinging his arm around Charlotte, trying to comfort her. Charlotte looked like she was going to be sick, as Murphy screamed from the outside of the tent once again. 

" _ Bring out the girl, Bellamy! _ " He roared as Octavia and Jasper held him back. His entire body was dressed with blood and scars, and his clothes had been changed with a pair from one of the corpses from when the hundred had dropped on Earth. 

"Anyone have any ideas?" Finn asked as Clarke played with the knife in her hand. "Clarke?"

"Bellamy, you can stall him." Clarke nodded, hugging Bellamy a small bit. "Be careful, he's insane."

He nodded, hugging her back before slipping out of the tent, a familiar grimace on his face. "Murphy."

"Where's the girl?"

"Murphy… she's a child, she is  _ twelve. _ " Bellamy breathed, looking to the group around Murphy, all of them looking murderous. However, the delinquents behind him had a face of mercy and worry, clearly feeling pity for the child.

"She is a  _ murderer.  _ She slaughtered Wells, who knows: she could've been the one who mercy-killed Atom! She saw him first!" Murphy screamed, trying to get closer to the camp, but he was pushed back by Bellamy, a growl on the older boy's face. "She let me get hanged."

"That wasn't her, that was their vote." Bellamy's voice was gruff as he pointed towards the delinquents behind Murphy. 

"Actually, yeah- let's do that now. The people have a right to know, or whatever your princess won't shut up about." Murphy nodded, turning his back on Bellamy. "Let's hear it: who wants the  _ real  _ murderer strung up? Huh?!"

Bellamy breathed when less than a quarter of the delinquents raised their hands, and those few were quickly glared at from the remainder of the hundred. "So I can get strung up for  _ nothing,  _ but when the real murderer shows her face, she walks off free?!"

"They made their vote, Murphy." Bellamy breathed, and turned around, wondering if Clarke and Finn had left, or heard the vote and stayed. He didn't trust Clarke with Finn, especially when her and Charlotte's lives depended on it. 

Suddenly, something broke over the back of his head, and he heard Octavia scream:  _ "You son of a bitch!"  _ Murphy quickly trotted over his body, a knife sheathed in the boy's hand.  _ No, Charlotte… he's going to kill Charlotte, he's gonna kill Clarke. I… I have to get up, I have to get up. _

"No, no!" Murphy screeched and faced the woods, more screams tearing out from his voice. A scream rang out, a scream that sounded much too familiar to Bellamy, but it was closed off as Murphy ran into the woods, a glimpse of gold catching Bellamy's eye. 

" _ CHARLOTTE! CHARLOTTE, I'M COMING FOR YOU! YOU AND YOUR LITTLE RICH BITCH! WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU'RE GOING TO BE SORRY!"  _ He bellowed, his friends joining him as they ran into the woods, their bodies aching for  _ blood.  _

"Bel, are you okay?" Octavia pulled him up so that he was facing her, but Bellamy's gaze was burning the woods down. 

"They're going to kill them when they find them… they're going to kill a twelve-year-old girl- they're going to murder Clarke…" He whispered, his eyes empty besides his tears begging to escape.

"You and I both know Finn knows the woods better than anyone. He probably knows some secret cave system where they can wait it out." Octavia brushed his hair back, and helped him upright, examining the nasty bruise on her brother's head. 

"With no food? And grounders hiding in every nook and cranny?" Bellamy asked, storming towards his tent and seeing a gaping hole in the tent's canvas wall. "We need to go after them."

"And leave the camp to who, Jasper?" Octavia asked, chasing after her brother with a quiet persona. With Clarke gone, she was the acting doctor. She'd be much busier now, especially with the scarce bruises from Murphy's hanging. "We need to-" 

Octavia was cut off as a piece of glass seemingly snapped beneath her weight. She gasped, holding it up along with an object -a knife- laying next to it. "Bellamy…"

"Her watch… it's bloody. She's hurt, Clarke's out there hurt. Murphy must've thrown his knife." His voice was soft as he grabbed Jake Griffin's dark watch, its hands barely ticking with every second. Murphy's wasp-colored knife was wedged in the left strap of the watch, blood dripping from the watch onto Bellamy's hands.

"She's hurt, yeah: but she's also the only doctor at camp and has a medkit in her bag. Just… we have chores. I know it's hard, but try to go on like normal for today."  _ And/or tomorrow, and Thursday, and Friday…  _

"Yeah, okay… okay, I'll try." Bellamy nodded, tying Clarke's watch onto his own rest. _Until you get back… I'll just use the memory of you for now until I can see your beautiful face._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading, guys! internet problems are all solved now, so there'll be a new update in less than three days!


	8. Chapter Eight

_ "Bellamy, what is this?" Clarke asked as Bellamy screwed open a part of the wall, revealing a small room with one of the walls being fabricated entirely from glass. "Oh my- Blake, you've done well." It had been a day since her father's floating, and somehow: Bellamy had convinced her to follow him, the tear stains still on her eyes. _

_ "You like it?" He asked, sitting on a blanket that he had laid by the window. Clarke still was reserved, an oversized hoodie and shorts dressed on her. Her hair was messy, tied back in a small braid, but stray hairs danced all over her head. In the glass was a beautiful, terrifying view of the planet beneath them. Stars dusted the atmosphere beautifully, and Clarke sat beside him, speechless.  _

_ Bellamy's face looked like a child awaiting a present on Christmas. Clarke laughed slightly, her heart suddenly pumping faster at his adorable, juvenile smile. "I love it, Bellamy." _

_ The light sprinkle of freckles sprayed across his face wrinkled as he smiled, failing to hide his joy. "Cool, cool."  _

_ "It's so pretty… doesn't look very dangerous." Clarke whispered. "So beautiful…" She murmured again, quickly taking a book -her sketchbook- from the bag lying around her shoulders along with a pencil. In a matter of seconds, she was off, sketching the majestic planet.  _

_ "It is." He nodded, studying Clarke from the corner of his eye. She proudly displayed her work after three minutes of nothing but the sound of her pencil torturing the paper beneath it. "It looks like a photograph, a princess. You should be an artist, you could sell your work in the market." _

_ "I would love that, but… my mother would never allow it." She closed her sketchbook, her heart racing as a ripped out page threw itself from the book, landing in Bellamy's hands. She could hear his breath hitch as she raced to place the book in her bag. She remained silent. _

_ "These are good, Clarke." He answered, his expression careful and pitiful. "I'm sorry…" He whispered, handing the drawing of her father back to the girl, an uncomfortable silence spreading across them. "Your father was a good man: even to the end."  _

_ Clarke smiled for a moment, and looked to Bellamy, her eyes shining with tears as she buried the drawing back in her bag, remaining silent for a second. "Thank you." Her voice was silent, but he could hear the tragedy in her voice.  _

_ "It's funny, the last talk we had before everything… went down…" She breathed for a second, keeping her glazed eyes aimed towards the monolithic planet. "... it was about you. I was…" She took a shaky breath, preparing for his reaction. "... I was trying to tell you how I felt, and he helped me: like always. I was going to tell you yesterday if my dad…" She stopped her body seemingly as still as a corpse.  _

_ "Clarke…" He started, a smile beaming in his mind. Holy shit. He thought and looked to Clarke. He almost convinced himself he heard someone outside the crawlspace, but he shook it off as he forced Clarke to look at him.  _

_ "I'm sorry, I- I shouldn't have told you… I've made you uncomfortable, haven't I? I'm sorry." She backed away from him, but he caressed her face: once again turning her irises towards his own dark eyes. _

_ "Clarke." _

_ "What? I said-" She was cut off as Bellamy closed the distance between them, their lips dancing together in the only thing that seemed normal in Clarke's life at this moment. Bellamy always thought it would be good, but she felt perfect against him, and the only thing he could hear was his heartbeat in his eyes.  _

_ It lasted for around a minute of them just kissing, grabbing at each other's hands as Bellamy pushed a strand of Clarke's hair out of her face. "Princess…" _

_ "Bellamy, you've no idea how long I wanted to do that." She smiled against him but was quickly startled when a deafening, muffled announcement was passed over the speakers outside, and with embarrassment spawning in her later, she grabbed Bellamy's hand.  _

_ "You okay?" His voice gruff responded when she released his hand and looked back at him. Her face was decorated with a smile, and for a second, she looked truly happy.  _

_ "Yeah, just a little jumpy since… anyway…" Clarke's voice was nearly mute, and Bellamy took her hand, looking straight into her sapphire eyes.  _

_ "Hey. We're in this together now, problems and all… I'm here for you, Clarke. Just say the word."  _

_ "Promise?" _

_ "With my heart." _

\-----------------------------------------------

"Bellamy. Bellamy…  _ Bellamy _ !" Miller repeated until the boy responded, a look of anguish on his face. The darker boy's eyes were impatient, and his hands were fidgeting, unsure of what to do. 

"Y-yeah?" He asked, his figure laid upon the fur-covered bed. "Sorry… what's up?" Bellamy asked, facing Miller. Still, part of him was distant, entrapped in memories of Clarke and him while his organic part stared through Miller's shape. 

"Murphy- Murphy found someone." Bellamy shot up, pushing past Miller as he raced out of the tent, his blood roaring between his ears. "It's not-"

" _ Let me go _ !" Bellamy raced forward, seeing Murphy holding a knife to… Finn. It was  _ Finn.  _ Bellamy didn't know whether he wished Clarke was found or not, that way he could save her. 

"Murphy! Let him go! He tried to stop your hanging, he was the one who cut you down!" Bellamy yelled, pushing Murphy past Finn, saving the coward's life. "You stabbed Clarke." He growled, holding the boy by his collar. "You're a selfish prick."

"Just because I hurt your fuckbuddy?" Murphy asked, quickly regretting it as Bellamy threw him back into a crowd of kids behind the two. 

"If we didn't need you, you'd be dead fifty times over. Do you think you'll start with a clean slate after this? I'm giving you the chance to stop right now, and when Clarke and Charlotte return, you're going to leave them alone. Whether you like it or not." Bellamy snarled, dropping Murphy to the ground, not looking as the boy slunk back into the woods, along with his gang. 

"Bellamy, I-"

"Cut the shit, where's Clarke and Charlotte?" Bellamy asked Jasper, Octavia, and Monty right behind him suddenly, the same look on all of their faces: desperation. 

"Did Murphy hit you?" Octavia asked, noticing a bruise on Finn's left cheek. The boy shook his head, a squirrelly expression hiding between his eyes. 

"No, Clarke… I wanted to take Charlotte back here, though we could protect her… Clarke called me a coward… hit me." Finn grumbled. Bellamy smirked, imaging Clarke striking the boy who'd been doing nothing but flirting with her for a month. Cold sweat was lying over his head, and his right sleeve was dripping with blood, though it didn't seem to be his. 

"So? Where are they? Are they okay?" Octavia asked, taking a break-ice-pack from her bag and cracking it, pushing it along Finn's head. "Dropship. Now." Bellamy nodded, beckoning the small group along as Finn limped behind, one of Murphy's lab-rats eyeing the group carefully. 

"When they took me, Clarke ran and took Charlotte. They found- they found a bunker. They'll be safe from Murphy there, it's hidden." Finn winced as Octavia began sewing a small cut on his hand. She'd learned a lot from Clarke, both of the girls' boredom eating them away. 

"Is Clarke's arm alright? Murphy stabbed her." Monty announced, holding Murphy's knife in his hand, picking the dirt underneath his fingernails with the very tip of the blade, careful to prevent blood spewing from above the flesh. "Finn."

"Y-yeah, she… I think she was fine. You know how she is, hiding everything. I got her to sew it up and everything, but she wouldn't use any of the painkillers in the bunker." Finn admitted his dead eyes not even able to look at any of his friends.  _ Classic Griffin… that's not good, she's going to sever her stitches, make it worse. I should be out there looking for her, not worrying about our next hunt.  _

__ "Fuck, okay… is Charlotte alright?" Finn nodded, allowing a small breath to spread through the room. "God…  _ shit. _ " Octavia placed the room before running out of the ship, clearly upset. 

"Do we go after them? They won't stand a chance." Jasper showed to be the only one with the capacity to speak. He gingerly eyed Bellamy as the older boy hid his wretchedness behind his eyes, his pupils exercised on the bloody watch on his wrist. "Murphy'll find them eventually."

"No, Clarke-Clarke has a gun... she'll shoot him if he tries to take Charlotte."  _ Where'd she get a gun? Will she shoot him? In front of a child?  _ Finn was stuttering, but slowly and surely regaining himself, his long hair scampering between the crevasses of his skin. 

"Will she?" Monty said what everyone was thinking, and a horrifying silence spread between the delinquents, and the time slowly stirred into molasses. "This is Clarke we're talking about, the girl who didn't like it when we killed the animals during hunts."

"Well, we'll just have to hope Murphy doesn't find them then," Bellamy grunted, soon following his sister, but breaking away from her when he diverged to his tent, trying not to think of all the ways Clarke could be dying currently... he was supposed to be her protector, he  _ swore  _ he'd never let anything happen to her on the earth, but once again... he failed. 

He failed with Octavia, and he failed with keeping Clarke safe, both on the Ark and on Earth.  _ Goddamn idiot, her blood's on your hands, dumbass.  _ He thought to himself, running his fingers through his hands.  _ No, I'm going out to look for them... I'll be back before anyone even knows I'm gone.  _

"Bellamy, where are you going?"  _ Nevermind.  _ He turned around to face his little sister, her eyes already suspicious before he had a chance to part his lips. 

"I'm... we need food, I'm going on a hunt."

"We both know that's glorified bullshit. I'm coming with you." Bellamy snorted and shook his head, pushing past his sister. "What, are you going to have one of your bitches babysit me again? I'm  _ coming with you _ ."

"Octavia, I respect that you're your own person, and normally I'd let you come with, but this is Murphy we're talking about. And it's dark, and with the grounders out there, I can't have you come with me."

"Bellamy-"

"Please, Octavia. I can't have you to worry about too." Bellamy pleaded. He only used his sister's full name when he was serious about something, and his expression matched his words. He was desperate to keep her here and safe as well. "Please."

"... fine. I'll make sure the camp doesn't catch on fire." Octavia grumbled and looked up at her brother. "Please don't let her die, Bellamy." She kissed his cheek, quickly walking off towards the stock of rations, her stomach suddenly rumbling with hunger. 

"I won't." He whispered, but no one was around to hear as he slipped out of the safety of the camp's walls, his heart beater much quicker than it had before Finn returning. He was their only hope because he knew for a fact Clarke wouldn't shoot Murphy, especially in front of a child. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading! please leave a kudos and a comment telling me if you liked this because we all know I need some confidence haha. :)


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when life falls between Clarke and Charlotte, and Bellamy has the gun?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you specifically to gingerbred for giving me the idea to make clarke more hurt since bellamy didn't immediately go for her. (that little man-whore) I honestly had a completely different chapter set up, and I like this one so much more, so THANK YOU GINGERBRED!!

He heard the footsteps first, but then he saw her shadow, and he caught her, covering her mouth first and foremost. " _ Charlotte, it's Bellamy. Quiet. _ " He whispered, seeing the light of torches in the distance. They were chasing after something: Clarke.  _ Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Do something, don't just stand there!  _ "I'm not going to hurt you, but I have to go help Clarke. How did you two get separated?" 

"M-Murphy saw us coming out of the bunker and she told me to run while she started yelling... I think she wanted to get caught so I could run."  _ Dammit, Clarke. One day your heart's going to catch up with you.  _ "I think Murphy caught her."

A sudden scream rang through the air: a feminine scream.  _ Clarke's scream.  _ Bellamy hid Charlotte behind a tree and rushed towards the torchlight that was flashing between the fissures of the tree branches. "What... Bellamy?" A hoarse whisper met his ears as he saw Clarke's hair flickering against the knife that was pulled against her throat. Bellamy's stomach turned as he noticed a red growing blotch painted across Clarke's stomach, and Murphy's knife planted straight through her abdomen.  _ That little fucking bitch, Murphy is so fucking dead... she doesn't even look alive... if I'd gone after her... this is all my fault.  _

Her face was broken, and she could barely even look up to look at her boyfriend. The only thing keeping her from falling to the mud beneath her feet was Murphy's hand around her neck, squeezing tighter with every second. 

"Where's the girl?" Murphy demanded, holding the dagger against her skin tighter and tighter with every second. Clarke shivered, goosebumps spreading across her skin. They were on a cliff of sorts, sheer edges all around them. "Bellamy, another step, and your little princess here is dead." 

"Stop. You don't want to do this." Bellamy warned, a dangerous glare spreading across his freckled face. His pupils had reduced to dots, and the hatred on his face was incomprehensible. "Think about it, if you kill her: what do you think is going to happen to you right after?" Clarke needed to get back to camp, she was lucky enough that Murphy didn't tear the knife out as soon as he'd stabbed her, but she was losing blood quickly and wouldn't last much longer.

"I think your pretty little princess here will be dead, and I'll be the only armed one, along with the other five of us." Murphy smiled and leaned close to Clarke, his breath making her whimper. Bellamy wanted to throw him off the cliff and not look back. "Where's the girl? It's a fair trade. They're both murderers. Princess here doesn't look like she has long"

"What... what are you even talking about?" Clarke's voice quivered, and she looked to Bellamy, begging him to stay back, but part of her wanted to stay alive after this and run into his arms and just be  _ safe...  _ with him. Pain consumed her, and she could barely keep her eyes open. They didn't do much good, tears blurred her vision and all she could see was two chocolate eyes looking at her in pure terror.

"You're mother... killed my father for taking medicine. You're lucky I didn't kill you sooner, you overprivileged bitch." Murphy was all but foaming at the mouth, and as Bellamy took a step, the younger boy drew the knife, drawing a fine line of blood across Clarke's throat. 

She whimpered, leaning closer to Bellamy without tightening the knife on her throat. Neither of them saw the small girl creeping up from behind Bellamy as the boy's pained face fought between anger and fear, unsure of what to do.  _ Please, don't save me... don't save me, you'll get hurt. She'll get hurt. Bellamy, don't.  _

"Well? What's it going to be then?" Murphy demanded, and once again began to slide the blade across her throat, drawing even more blood across Clarke's shivering skin. 

"No, stop, stop!" Bellamy yelled, succeeding in moving a foot towards her, and died inside when an unwelcome sob escaped Clarke's mouth. She shook her head gently, looking at him. "Just let her go. She tried to stop the others, she saved your life!"

"Bellamy..." She cried, shaking her head. "Don't do it, she's a child." Clarke could barely speak as blood pooled down her leggings, spilling into the rain and mud. 

Suddenly, Murphy dragged Clarke by the hood of her hoodie, holding her over the at least four-hundred-foot sheer drop. She whimpered, clawing at his arm and trying to get her feet back on the ground. "Stop it, please!"

Rain paraded against Clarke's jacket as she cried, trying desperately to get back to safety. Bellamy stepped forward, and his expression was desperate. He met Murphy's eyes, and white-hot anger resonated from his glare. "Let her go, right now." Clarke began sinking as more blood escape the contents of her stab-wound, and her eyes began to haze.

"Choose your wording a little more carefully," Murphy growled, and let one finger slip from holding Clarke. She dropped a few inches and screamed, looking desperately at the four boys standing next to Murphy. 

" _ Please!  _ You can have me, you can do whatever, just let her go!" Bellamy pleaded, his feet cemented to the ground. "Murphy, please!"

"You know what I want, Bellamy. The girl for the bitchy princess."  _ Please don't. Let me die, I'm fine with this death. I'll have died with your face being the last one I see.  _

"Bellamy, it's going to be okay. Y-you need to let this happen, you can't sell out a twelve-year-old child for my life. You need to let me go." She nodded, tears spilling over her eyes. Her once-golden hair had retreated to wet, dirty-blonde locks resonating behind her shoulders which were now bloody as well. 

" _ Shut up _ !" Murphy growled, letting another finger slip from Clarke's hood. She screamed again but shut her mouth when she felt Murphy's middle finger begin to slip against her freezing coat. 

"Please, just let her-"

" _ Stop it _ !" Clarke let out a shaky sob when her eyes met Charlotte suddenly behind Bellamy, a scared but heroic expression plastered across her. "Murphy, no! Take me, kill me: just let her go!"

It was too late. Charlotte was already inching forward, and panic spread through Clarke as Murphy suddenly stretched his arm out further, allowing more tears to spill from her sapphire eyes. "Charlotte-"

" _ Shut up _ !" Murphy screamed again, literally  _ throwing  _ Clarke into Bellamy, allowing her arm to dig into a rock, and a new gash appeared on her arms. Bellamy grabbed Clarke, quickly clearing the skin around her wound and kissing her cheeks and hands, never feeling so relieved.

"Murphy, no!" Bellamy roared, and as Bellamy was about to beat Murphy, Charlotte stepped closer to the edge and turned around, her eyes shining with tears. "Charlotte, get away from the edge! You could slip!"

"Charlotte!" Clarke croaked but fell into the mud when she attempted to rise. Bellamy picked her up once again, now holding her bridal-style in his arms, but she didn't even notice. "Get away from the edge." She warned, knowing full well Murphy could push her over at any time. 

"I'm sorry... I-I can't let any of you get hurt anymore. Not because of me." Her voice was high, and her eyes were empty. She no longer resembled a human, just a lost soul looking for shelter from the rain. "Not after what I did." It seemed time was standing still, and even Murphy had paused. 

Bellamy hid Clarke from the rain in his chest as Charlotte hesitated for a second, her eyes boring into the sloshy mud beneath everyone's boots. Before anyone could do anything, Charlotte ran back: leaping off of the cliff like a bird with clipped wings. " _ CHARLOTTE _ !" Clarke screeched, running to the edge of the cliff where the girl had just jumped to her death. A twelve-year-old girl. She'd never get to see the daytime again, or her friends from the Ark. 

" _ NO _ !" Bellamy roared, soon sitting beside Clarke, who was already on her knees, grabbing at the mud and sobbing. He looked down at the ravine, but all he saw was darkness...  _ She can't even be buried properly.  _

"No, no, no, no, no, no..." Clarke wailed, her face breaking into the true expression of tragedy. As she sat wailing, Bellamy looked back to Murphy, his vision truly red. This boy had been the cause of death of a child, and nearly that of Clarke, his Clarke. He still could be if they didn't get her back to camp.

"Bellamy. Bellamy-"

Bellamy ran into Murphy, screaming. The boys fell to the ground, and as much as Murphy tried to hold a resistance, the younger boy's skin already looked more bloody than it had when the entire camp was let loose on him. "Bellamy-"

Punch after punch, Bellamy couldn't seem to wash away the pit in his stomach... he'd never felt this before, besides when Clarke had been imprisoned, and with... with his mother. "Bellamy, stop! You'll kill him." Clarke's voice was barely above a whisper, but Bellamy heard her well and good, he just didn't listen to her for maybe the first time in his life. 

"Get off me!" Two hands grabbed Bellamy, and just as he was about to throw them back, he saw it was Clarke, and for a second, he calmed. But alas, it was only a second. " _ HE deserves to die _ !" 

" _ No _ ! We don't decide who lives and dies... not down here." Clarke yelled, standing between Murphy and Bellamy. Murphy's face had been smeared with blood, and his left eye was swollen to the point he couldn't open it. Her legs had begun to sway, but Bellamy hadn't noticed. He was slitting Murphy's throat with his eyes instead of a blade, watching the blood roll over his skin.

"So help me, God... if you say the  _ people  _ have a  _ right  _ to decide, I will-"

"No, no! I was wrong before, okay? You were right!" She yelled, her face damp with tears. Her hands were shaking, something Bellamy had come to know would happen whenever she was anxious or in one of her worst moments. "Sometimes it's dangerous to tell people the truth!" Clarke yelled, looking back at Murphy.  _ This is all my fault... isn't it? If I hadn't confronted Murphy... Oh, my God.  _ "But if we're going to survive down here, we can't survive by 'whatever the hell we want!'"

Bellamy sighed, his hands suddenly aching. He looked back towards the cliff's edge, his eyes puffy... he hardly knew Charlotte, but... she was a child and reminded Bellamy all too well of his sister. Of Clarke. "And who makes those rules?"

"For now, we make the rules, okay?" 

"So, what then?! We just take him back and pretend like it never happened?" Bellamy's voice was like listening to nails dancing across a chalkboard, and he couldn't even bother to breathe... tears pranced across his freckled skin as he cried, not making a sound. 

" _ No _ !" She cried and looked back at Bellamy. He  _ did  _ look sorry, but Clarke realized he was only sorry it ended in an unprecedented way. "We banish him." Her voice was barely audible, but Bellamy knew it was the final say. 

" _ Come here, _ " Bellamy growled, throwing Murphy into his arms and grabbing him by the collar much like he had Clarke. 

"Bellamy, stop!"

"If I ever catch you in camp, we'll be back here... understand?" Bellamy's voice was dangerously low, and Murphy's and his voice were less than an inch away. Bellamy's breath echoed across Murphy's skin, almost like its private threat. " _ Do you understand _ ?!" Murphy shook his head, and Bellamy threw him back towards John Mbege and his other friends, a glare spreading to all of them. "As for the four of you, you can come back and follow me, or go off with him to  _ die _ ! Your choice."

Bellamy broke through the crowd, Clarke following soon behind him. She could barely walk and her hands clutched at the knife in her gut, crying with each step. Soon enough, Murphy was left alone in the dark woods, and heard a branch snap beside him...  _ "Fuck."  _

"Are you okay?" Bellamy asked as Clarke limped beside him, a gash running through her arm, a dagger hiding in her gut, and cuts around her throat, and one bruise on her face. "Clarke?" He seemed to have calmed down after twenty minutes and had returned to his normal personality. Clarke could see the tragedy in his eyes but also knew that Bellamy liked to relish over his grief later rather than sooner. 

"Clarke." 

"Yeah... I'm fine." She whispered, not meeting his eyes. He grabbed her hand, but she wouldn't look in his eyes. All at once, she collapsed, her eyelids shutting momentarily, and in a second, he was at her side, catching her from the rock that would've danced across her head, causing a concussion. He swung her legs to rest on his flexing biceps, carrying her like his wife. 

"I said I'm fine, Bel." She tried to struggle out of his arms, but he didn't let her so much as move a muscle, and instead kissed her forehead, feeling sorrow dance in the deep lines that were knitted between his eyebrows. 

"Even you can't believe that lie." Bellamy breathed, and squeezed her hand, stopping her from moving. All the noises there were were the occasional chirps of the insects, and the labored breathing of Clarke, whose eyelids suddenly felt heavy. "We've been through shit today, and it's going to leave scars-"

"You only get scars if you heal, Bellamy. And right now, I need to get back to camp. Someone could be hurt or"

" _ Don't you see?!  _ You're stabbed! You're starving yourself! I see you giving your rations to my sister. You need to take care of yourself, Clarke! You're going to use this death-"

"It wasn't a death! It was my fault... it was my fault." Clarke cried. Suddenly, she sunk against Bellamy's back, tears spilling down her face before Bellamy even saw them. "She was a  _ child _ , Bellamy. She'll never live her life and it's my fault... Wells' death, my fault. If I just let Murphy-"

"What, kill you?" Bellamy asked, but when he realized she was serious, his blood ran cold.  _ Damn it, Clarke. I love you... why can't you do the same?  _ "Clarke, look... some things are destined to die, and some things are destined to happen. It's fate. It's fate that we met, it's fate that my mom had more than one child, and it's fate that Charlotte died."

"It didn't have to be... I could've stopped it."

"Do you want to know who else could've stopped it? I could have stopped it, Octavia could've stopped it, Jasper could've stopped it, the whole  _ damn camp  _ could've stopped it, Clarke." Bellamy took Clarke in his arms.  _ We need to get back to camp... Clarke's injured badly, and there could be grounders out here. She's already falling asleep... I can't let that happen, maybe it's the one thing I can not fuck up at today... I should've gone for her immediately.  _

"I'm so sorry, Bellamy." Clarke cried, hiding in the crook of Bellamy's neck, trying to get Charlotte out of her mind. "We can't even... we can't even bury her." Her voice broke, and Bellamy ached, holding her closer. She didn't even have time to mourn Wells, and now what was like a little sister to Clarke was gone as well. Earth was relentless, but especially to her. 

"We can place flowers in the grave-yard... your father would be proud of you."

"My- no he wouldn't. Bellamy, I'm-I'm a murderer. I killed Atom." She sobbed, and slowly pulled her knees to her chest, shaking back and forth. Even though Clarke could barely see Bellamy's face in the dark, she could see the frown on his face, and the shine in his eyes. "I'm sorry for being like this." As Bellamy jogged towards camp, Clarke moaned in pain with each time she juggled in his grip.

"Clarke, when you're with me, don't  _ ever  _ apologize for being you. You're beautiful, smart, and amazing in every way." Bellamy promised, and after two or three minutes, he helped her up, more blood decorating her arm now. "We need to get you back to camp, you're hurt."

"Yeah, camp... camp sounds like a good idea." She murmured and suddenly, her eyes were shut, and her breathing was much slower. 

"Clarke." Bellamy shook her for a second, slowing his walking momentarily. " _ Clarke _ ." He repeated, shaking her harder.  _ Fuck, what do I do?! I need Octavia here, I need Clarke here.  _

"Clarke, wake up...  _ Clarke _ !" He poured what little water he had in his canteen on her hair, and suddenly: she jolted awake, her mouth groaning as soon as she moved. "Jesus, thank you." He breathed, and looked into her eyes, abruptly quickening his pace. "Stay awake, Clarke. You've got much more of a chance if you don't fall asleep."

"I thought... I thought I was the doctor." She smiled, coughing a small amount of blood from her lips, spilling some on Bellamy's jacket. 

"That's not good... is it?"

"It means the wound's deep... if you can get me back, I-I..." Her words began to slur and her eyelids started drooping. 

"Clarke, Clarke! Stay awake... urm, tell me about the cabins you want me to start building for everyone." The lights of camp began to appear in the horizon of the woods and Bellamy breathed, brushing a hair from Clarke's clammy face. 

"They're going to from short logs and... we'll need to buddy up since we can't build enough for ninety." When she said the words 'ninety,' Bellamy cringed. They'd already lost nearly ten... it was supposed to be peaceful down here, different... but instead, he was hauling his girlfriend back to camp as she slowly died in his arms, blood pouring from her like a river. "I love you."

"No, no goodbye voice. Look, there's camp, we made it."

"That... that doesn't mean I did, Bellamy. I love you so much... just in case-"

"Nothing is happening, Clarke.  _ OPEN UP _ !" Bellamy suddenly screamed to the two girls guarding the gate, who gasped and rapidly opened the walls, a shocked expression on their faces. The sudden noise made Clarke wince, and suddenly, it felt like every gasp and little noise made her wince.

"Is that Clarke?"

"Where's that kid?" Voices whizzed past the young couple, but Bellamy sprinted towards the dropship, where he knew Octavia would be. "Bellamy!"

"Bellamy..." Clarke whispered weakly in his arms, and suddenly, she was gone. Her eyes shut, but her chest was barely rising up and down anymore.  _ Gotta get the knife out of her, she's not going to last much longer.  _

"Bellamy, you're-  _ oh my God _ !" Octavia cried as she saw the weak figure of Clarke suddenly sprawled out on the examination table in the dropship and Bellamy looked up to her. 

"Please, Octavia, she taught you what she knew, only you can help." He cried, brushing a golden curl from Clarke's shut eyes. He ripped off the hem of her shirt, revealing the bloody mess that was her abdomen. 

"O-oh, my God... okay, we need to get the knife out, I... I'm not sure if I can do this, Bellamy." Her voice quivered as her fingers wrapped around the knife's handle, tears quickly streaming down her face. 

"I know you can do this, Octavia." 

When the knife was finally set on the table aside Clarke's limp body, she screamed in pain and her eyes shot open. She threw herself off of the table, instantly yelping once again when she fell to the floor. "Clarke! Clarke, it's Bellamy! You need to stop moving,  _ stop moving _ !" Bellamy ordered, rushing beside her and holding her down, even though he wasn't sure which of them it hurt more. Clarke cried beneath him, clearly unsure of where she was as Octavia rushed over, sewing her wounds together, only causing even more sobs to sprout from Clarke's lips. 

" _ Stop, stop _ !  _ Octavia, please, it hurts _ !" Clarke screamed, but she could barely move beneath Bellamy's tight grip. Eventually, after Octavia finished, Clarke collapsed, no longer awake. Her breathing was slow, barely audible, and her expression was still stained with tears. 

"I-Is she okay, is she alive?" Bellamy croaked, rushing to let go of Clarke, killing himself on the inside when he saw a dark imprint on Clarke's left arm from him having to hold her down.  _ I'm a monster... she told me to let her go, I've killed her... if I left to find her as soon as she was hit with that damn knife, this wouldn't be happening... fucking idiot. I'm so dumb... she would have gone looking for me immediately... why didn't I? _

"She's alive, her body's just tired, Bel... we can't do anything else, it's on her now... you should get some rest."

"No, I've rested enough. I should've been there, O... I should have left as soon as Murphy went after her, I should've..." His voice broke and he felt tears run down his face, cooling his infuriated figure down. He was mad at Murphy, he was mad at Spacewalker, but mostly, he was mad at himself. 

" _ Bellamy.  _ You can't keep beating yourself up over this, okay? What would Clarke want?" Bellamy remained silent, not able to look at anything but Clarke's bloody, limp body... he could barely even see her due to the tears falling from his face. "Look, I'll come to make sure she didn't rip her stitches in the morning, stay with her and just make sure her fever doesn't rise... try and get some sleep, big brother." 

He didn't bother to look as Octavia tiptoed out of the dropship, her gaze lingering across him. Bellamy wiped tears from his face and placed Clarke's bloodied body in one of the many empty hammocks lying in the dropship. "I'm so sorry, Clarke." 

It was silent besides Bellamy's silent tears and Clarke's labored breathing until suddenly, everything stopped. All of the chirps of birds and chatter of the delinquents outside seemed to evade itself into white noise. Bellamy raised his head, and his blood ran cold in horror when he realized Clarke's small hand had disappeared from his, and she'd vanished. "...  _ Clarke _ ?" His voice was a whisper, and he got up from the small bar-stool he'd sprawled himself across, his hands shaking with every step. "Hello? Octavia? Clarke?"

"You let me die, Bellamy." 

"Hello?" Bellamy called again and was suddenly thrown against the metal walls of the dropship, a slam deafening him. 

"Why didn't you come for me? I thought you loved me, Bellamy." Her voice was a horrible interpretation of what once had been Clarke, and her skin was disheveled, looking like that of a zombie's. 

"I do love you, Clarke! I wanted to go after you, I just... I couldn't. I couldn't." Bellamy sobbed, not bothering to get up after he was thrown back. Clarke was dressed in her regular clothing, but blood was splattered across her chest, and awful labels were scrawled in blood on her arms. "Please, I didn't do anything wrong!"

"You left me to die! You killed Charlotte!" Clarke screamed, striking Bellamy across the cheek. Bellamy sobbed, not even noticing how he couldn't feel the actual metal beneath him. "You're nothing but a murderer, Bellamy. I hate you." 

"Clarke, no! I-I can fix this, I can-"

"Bellamy!" The voice seemed far away, not even there. He closed his eyes, and suddenly the Clarke in front of him was gone. He continued crying until he felt someone tug him, waking him quickly. "Bellamy." The voice was weak and feminine, but Bellamy knew whose it was in seconds.  _ Clarke.  _ "Bel, it's me."

He opened his eyes to see Clarke staring back at him, his Clarke. "...  _ Clarke _ ?" She nodded, trying to get up.  _ I was dreaming... how could I think Clarke would say something like that?! I'm such a dick.  _ "No, don't get up, you'll hurt yourself."

She coughed for around five seconds, Bellamy growing more and more panicked with each hack of her lungs. "Y-you were crying... are you o-okay?" Clarke stammered, struggling to get each word out.  _ Classic.  _ Her figure was weak and her hair was tugged back into a messy ponytail. Her stomach was dressed in her blood, suddenly making Bellamy feel sick. 

"I'm so sorry, Clarke... when you ran, I waited... I waited to go after you. This is all my fault, if I just went after you, you'd be okay, Charlotte... Charlotte might be alive." 

"What was it you said, Bellamy?... some things are destined to die, and some things are destined to happen. It's fate." Clarke smiled, her voice barely above a raspy whisper. Everything about her seemed so... so weak now, and it was nothing like the Clarke Bellamy knew... his Clarke was strong, never gave up, put everyone before herself constantly, this... this was a ghost of who she used to be, and it was Bellamy's fault entirely. "I'm not mad at you. You did what you had to do, I know that."

"How? How don't you hate me, want to kill me?"

"I could never, Bellamy. I'd die before I hurt you." She whispered, pulling him close. She could barely move and every time she did, she winced in pain. It killed him. "I love you... you... you saved my life." She muttered weakly, pulling him closer before bringing his lips to hers.

She was warm and cold at the same time, and she barely had the strength to pull himself up and kiss him, but if her last movement would be anything, it'd be kissing the love of her life. 

"I love you so much, Bellamy. I would die for you and never regret it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know i got you with that long chapter, but can we discuss something? HOW THE FUCK IS SHEIDHEDA RUSSEL? I HAD SO MUCH EVIDENCE FOR MY THEORY THAT IT WAS THE MAN WE SAW PLAYING CHESS IN THE TRAILER, BUT NO. JASON REALLY BITCH SLAPPED ME WITH THIS ONE. AHHHHHHHHHHHH. (my theories are on the 100 fandom discord, go enjoy them, I know you will, babes :) ). also, thanks so much for the support and comments, I always love them so much, so please, comment and kudos, it makes my year!


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke isn't waking up, and Bellamy isn't okay without her... they're both relying on each other, but who will wake up first?

"Why-why isn't she waking up?" Bellamy strumbled, his voice poisoned with concern and his skin a more faded shade then it had been before Clarke being entrapped in her slumber. It was one in the afternoon and Clarke hadn't been able to wake up. Bellamy and Octavia tried everything, they even emptied a pail of water on her chest at one point, but it was no use, she was  _ out cold _ . Her fever was roaring across her forehead and her breathing was so uneven Octavia was afraid her lungs would grow unaligned. 

"Her fever's getting worse, the knife wound is infected. I need to wash her wounds... we're running out of rations, you need to go hunting, Bel." Octavia knew he wouldn't agree with it, and she hit a cheap spot. "Look, if you go hunting, I promise I'll have Clarke up by the time you get back. Don't you want her to have something to eat when she wakes?"

"That's a low blow, Octavia." He grumbled. Bellamy had fallen asleep with Clarke in his arms, her face calm and reserved as her chest slowly rose and fell, but then, all of a sudden, she screamed in her sleep, and instantly, every single thing had gone wrong. "Fine... you'd better keep your promise. Monty can help you if you need anything, he has steady hands."

He was done with this: Earth being so cruel to his girlfriend. She didn't deserve it, any of it. Clarke was the nicest -but most careless- person he knew... she put herself in danger too often, most of the time to save his skin or one of their friends. Bellamy knew after Jake Griffin's death that she'd lost all sense of self-worth that she had... kissing Bellamy had raised her morale momentarily, but it also made her feel much worse about having to make him visit her...  _ She always thought she was a burden... was, why am I saying was? She'll be fine.  _

In a matter of minutes, Bellamy had assembled a group to be broken up and hunt the woods, their sudden loss of meat only pressing them to find something further. Even a rabbit would do... they needed  _ something. Clarke would know what to do... she knows what plants we can eat or not... I hope she's back by the time I am.  _ "Okay, we're sweeping the south woods, stick with your partners. If you see any grounders... attack. Make sure you keep your weapon on you! If you catch something, return to camp." 

Usually, Clarke would join Bellamy during their hunting parties, but now... the silence as he trotted through the woods only made him feel more guilty. The chirps of crickets and birds and the mossy smell did little to comfort him...  _ if only I went after her as soon... as soon as I saw that damn knife... she might be okay. She'd be right here beside me. I'm a selfish prick.  _

His eyes met the sky above him, and even in the day, he could see the faintest tickle of stars meeting the sky... and then... the Ark bleeding through the center of the sky, a very geocentric insignia that showed the truest definition of suffering, or... to Bellamy and Clarke, at least... suddenly, a blinking light sprouted from the Ark, shooting down towards the ground. "... what the hell?" Bellamy thought aloud, brushing a curl away from his face.  _ Supply depot?... they wouldn't be stupid enough to send people down already?  _

The light seemed to exhilarate Bellamy as an orange light bled from the machine, and suddenly, the light crashed down... it must've been a mile from him as he could feel the own heat on his freckled skin as it crashed into the sea of trees before him. "H-holy shit it's... it's... t-they sent someone down." 

In a matter of seconds, he was running towards the crash site, the familiar scent of hot metal dancing through his nostrils. By the time he got there, a thin layer of sweat covered him. "Holy fuck," Bellamy swore, nearly gasping as he laid his eyes across the foreign... well, it was a ship.  _ Someone's in there.  _

Struggling, he ripped the door open, finding an unconscious girl. " _ Calling Raven Reyes... Ark Station calling... _ "  _ It's a radio... they're coming down. They're going to kill me, they're going to take me from Clarke.  _ Without even thinking for a second, he tore the radio from the ship, sparks combusting from the red and black wires in seconds. 

"W-what... what did I just do?" He whispered after throwing the radio into a stream not a few meters from the ship. "I... I gotta... I gotta get out of here." He whispered, sprinting from the ship like it was ablaze. Adrenaline rushed through him as oil from the radio ran along his fingers as the silhouette of camp began to appear in his vision... The blurred walls of camp, the echo of Clarke's voice in his ear. He tried to put the ship behind him... Clarke needed him. 

"Octavia." His breath was ragged as he looked at Clarke's figure, her eyes only slightly open. " _ Clarke. _ " He beamed, racing towards her. Octavia was nowhere to be seen, but Clarke was almost sitting up, her fever still radiating across her forehead. 

"Hey... where were you?" Clarke asked, her voice weak. A damp towel was laid across her forehead, and even though her fever was gone, he could still see it in her eyes. 

"I was out hunting with the others... missed you out there." He smirked, not mentioning the ship until a moment of silence passed through them and she raised her arm, caressing his face. "Yeah?"

"I know when you're upset, Bellamy... you can tell me anything, isn't that what you said?" She asked as he kneeled next to her, unsure to kiss her or hug her, or just hold her in his arms, protecting her from every bad thing there was in the world. "Bellamy. What is it?"

"Clarke, I... I saw a ship come down from the Ark. Someone was sent down." Clarke's breath hitched and their eyes suddenly connected, their thoughts matching each other's. "What... what if they came down to kill-"

"I told you once I wouldn't let anything happen to you, Bellamy. I'll keep that promise." She swore, sitting up with a small groan.

"I said the same thing, and... God, Clarke, I failed. You almost died. I got you killed, I got Charlotte killed." He croaked, his voice breaking. His dark skin matted against hers, and in an instant, she was pushing her lips against his, tears streaming down his face. "I came down here to protect you and O, and I can't even do that right." 

"Bellamy, listen to me. I love you, Octavia loves me... you saved my life more than once... when my dad was floated, I..." She swallowed, looking away from him and towards the floor. "I went to the airlock the next day... Bellamy, I asked Wells to float me. I don't even remember being mad at him at first, I was just... sad. I couldn't feel anything, but... I saw your face from the other side of the glass, and... I stopped it."

He didn't know what to say, so he just took her in his arms, holding her as tightly as he could. "I'm so sorry." She cried, tears racking her breaths as she collapsed in his arms, not even able to sit up anymore. "If my father could see me now, he... I'm a monster, I've killed people, Bellamy. Atom... I murdered him. And Murphy, we probably killed him." 

"You did what you had to do to protect your people, to protect me." He shook his head, burying his head in her golden hair. It shimmered from rays of sunlight bleeding through the drop ship and it smelled of... strawberries. That was the name for the red berries he'd found for her their second day. "You did nothing wrong. Your father would be damn proud."

"I don't think he would... my mother floated my father and I blamed Wells for him. He died not even knowing how much I loved him. I was so  _ horrible  _ to him, Bellamy... I don't want to be like that again." She whispered against his skin, feeling his steaming breath dance against her skin, like a fire igniting her to keep living. 

"He knew you loved him, Clarke. He's with Charlotte and Atom now, and you're dad," Bellamy promised and released her, bringing her fingers to move against his. She looked at him, and he never realized how bad it was...  _ She was ready to die. She shouldn't have to go through this, none of us should.  _

After a minute of just holding each other, trying to think of how they'd ended up this fucked, Clarke broke the silence. "We should see if that ship has any supplies. It could have medicine." Clarke smiled and suddenly, she seemed like a child on Christmas. "I can have an actual med-bay."

"Yeah, if we can build it before the Ark gets down here and starts wasting our resources on a palace for whoever the Chancellor is now." Bellamy smiled, sitting up, along with Clarke, who moaned in pain. "Whoa, careful, princess... you just overcame death, you can't get up yet."

"Bellamy, I'm going to that ship, I'm the only one who will recognize what rubbing alcohol and whiskey looks like. I know what we need and what we don't need to bother taking, I'm coming, even if it kills me."

"I'm pretty sure it will, Clarke." She shot him a glare, rolling her eyes at how protective he could be sometimes. "I'm just trying to protect you, princess."

"Believe it or not, I can take care of myself, Bel. Murphy stabbed me in my chest, I can still walk." Clarke shrugged, quickly getting up from the thin hammock. Bellamy tried to stop her as she moaned in pain almost immediately, but she shook him back, leaning on the metal ladder for balance for a moment. 

"Clarke, please-"

"We need to get those supplies, it could save lives."

"What about your life?" Bellamy demanded, trying to sit her back on the hammock. She once again refused his help, not accepting the fact she wasn't even strong enough to stand. "You're always putting people in front of yourself and it's  _ killing  _ you. You need to take a break."

"When I take a break, people die. I... I don't want you to get hurt, Bellamy. Everyone I love is  _ dead.  _ My father, Wells, Charlotte... my mother. She died when he did. I don't want you to die, Bellamy, or Octavia. I'm a sickness." She croaked, groaning as beads of sweat dripped from her forehead. Somehow, her hair was still dancing around her face, framing it in a way that Bellamy couldn't even comprehend. 

"I'm not going to die, Clarke. I'm a survivor, and so is my sister... it runs in our blood." Bellamy smiled, hitting Clarke's shoulder playfully. They once again stayed silent for a second, before Bellamy pulled Clarke closer, pushing their lips together until there was no more space. She tasted like every good thing and had the scent of fresh wild-flowers on a dew sprinkled morning. 

"Okay... let's go to the ship." Clarke smiled against him, kissing him once more before he helped her walk towards the exit. She took a deep breath and walked outside, thankful she had him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading! kudos and comments are always appreciated! also, so excited for the new episode! i always have theories on the 100 fandom discord, or on the 100 amino!


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's injured, and that's never good for anyone who has to deal with Bellamy.

"Are you sure it was in this direction?"

"Princess, I'm sure." He smiled, squeezing Clarke's hand. She was tired, as they had been hiking for nearly an hour now. "Do you wanna sit down for a bit?"

"I can still walk, Bel. I'm-" Suddenly, she grabbed her knife-wound in pain, allowing a quieted scream to escape her lips. 

" _ Clarke _ !" He caught her in his arms, looking down at her. His face was one of worry and anger, knowing Clarke would just pass it off and try to continue. "We're taking a rest."

"No, everyone in a radius of one hundred miles saw that thing come down. It could have weapons in it, and if the grounders get those-"

"You think the Ark would send down weapons to one hundred criminals?" Bellamy asked, placing his hands on his hips. Clarke sighed, escaping from his arms and sitting on a nearby rock. "Thank you, princess."

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm just tired."

"Right there with you." A quiet spread across them and Clarke looked to Bellamy who was sat beside her. His face was one of wonder and she remembered how most of the day she forgot that they were on Earth... she never had had time to act her age. Being in charge was just so... demanding. 

"You never told me what you did when I was arrested. We always were focusing on me, I-I want to know more about your life, Bel." She smiled, caressing his rough skin with her thumb. He looked at her, his eyes dark. 

"I didn't have one." He answered quickly, not meeting her eyes. He saw as two ants struggled under the weight of a leaf on the mossy forest floor. "Clarke, you are my life. Without you, I... I wouldn't have one. I didn't."

"It's funny, y'know? I tried to recreate your signature you made on the walls on the ceiling so I could see it when I went to sleep: so I could see you. I can't live without you, Bellamy. If anything was going to happen to you, I..." She droned off and looked him in the eyes, reaching for his hand and rubbing it. 

"Hey, nothing's happening to me, Clarke, and nothing's happening to you." He edged closer to her, drawing his arm across her shoulder, keeping her small figure in his arms. "We're gonna be okay. You believe that, right?"

"I know you won't let anything happen to us. I love you." She whispered pulling him closer until their lips were dancing against each other, the sounds of birds around them the only sounds. 

"I love you too, princess." 

"... we should start going again." Clarke whispered after what felt like an eternity of bliss. She loved this, being hidden in Bellamy's strong arms while he pressed his lips to her forehead. His skin was callous and his cheeks were freckled. Clarke always loved that about him, how his freckles were their secret language. 

As they trekked through the woods, they found... well,  _ it.  _ "Is that it?" Clarke asked, her voice a gasp. Before them was a metal pod, the words 'mecha' on the dusty side of the ship. It looked as if it were a hundred years old and the glass functioning as a viewing glass was barely transparent. "Oh my God, Bellamy, there's someone in there!"

"Clarke, it-"

"Help me get this open, they could be hurt." Bellamy rushed over, breaking the door from the ship with ease, his muscles flexing. In the ship was a girl that looked around Bellamy's age, her head doused with blood from an open cut. She was dressed in the suit of a spacewalker mechanic above on the Ark. "Oh my God..."

Bellamy tried to look surprised, but he'd already seen this girl when he broke the radio... he felt so selfish about it, but the thought of Jaha hurting Octavia or Clarke... he didn't regret it. "Hey, hey!" Clarke shook the girl, and soon enough, amber, hazel eyes met hers. "My name's Clarke, I-"

"Clarke?" The girl whispered, slowly pressing her fingers to her head. "Shit." 

"You know my name?" 

"You're Clarke. I'm Raven." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for not uploading for a week! hope yall enjoyed!


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Clarke are perfect, everything is perfect... until something drops from the sky, and it all changes.

"How'd you get down here?" Bellamy asked, his arms crossing across each other. He had a tough look on his face, and couldn't help but glance at the broken remnants of the comms. Sparks flew from seemingly every direction of the ship. 

"Here, let me take a look at your head."

"Abby said you were a doctor." A quiet passed between the three and soon enough, Clarke raised her voice.

"My mom sent you down here?" She asked, her voice suddenly small. Raven squinted her eyes in confusion and nodded. Clarke managed to cover herself again and walk Raven over to someplace to sit down as she looked at the very minimal supplies in the ship. There were a few bandages, two bottles of painkillers, but... that was it. They had shit nothing. 

"Yeah, she wanted to see if you guys were alive, the counsel was threatening to float her."

"Oh." Clarke murmured, reserving herself to fixing the gash running down Raven's tanned skin. For once, she thought Abby Griffin cared about her, but... wrong. Once again. Abby just cared about saving her skin, knowing full well they'd start population reduction but just didn't care... what did she even have to live for after losing everything? 

"So, did the Ark have another ship for you to use?" Bellamy asked, eyeing Clarke nervously. Nothing looked wrong, but he knew better than to let her shields get the better of him. She didn't want him worrying, but doing this was doing the opposite. 

"No, I fixed it up. It's from Mecha...  _ Oh my God. _ " Raven suddenly stood, her eyelids barely visible. It was as if she just remembered she was on Earth and suddenly, she was breathing in the air drastically, her fingertips trying to reach it like candy. 

Bellamy saw Clarke smile for a second -just a glimpse of a smile- but it was enough to get him to smirk as well. Sometimes he forgot to take a breather and remember how lucky they were they'd even made it this far. "Raven, I really need to take a look at your head, it could-"

"One second!" She groaned, torturing two blades of grass between her nails, handling the metal necklace that dangled across her clothes. She felt grime and muck on it from when her work in Mecha got dirty, but she could never bring herself to wash it... it just felt like washing memories away. "Fine."

After Clarke managed to tie a tight bandage around the girl's head, she sprouted back up, her wonderous smile back on her lips. "I always dreamed it'd smell like this." She giggled, and in an instant, Raven felt like she was a child again. It felt like she could be eighteen for a second, but then she remembered the reason she came down:  _ Oh my God, the air.  _

"O-oh my God, I forgot! Stupid!" Raven suddenly sprinted back to the ship, tearing the other side of the ship open in an instant. " _ Shit _ !"

"Raven! What is it?" Bellamy asked, sharing a confused expression with Clarke. Every other minute he noticed Clarke itching at her wound: they had to get home before dark, because if Clarke's wound didn't kill them: the grounders would. 

"Your mom and I were going to come down together. We waited, but... we couldn't wait because the Council was voting to kill three hundred people to save air." She stated, tearing the ship apart, her breaths quickly becoming gasps for the only thing that was missing from her hands at the minute. "It's-it's not here...  _ fuck _ !" 

"What isn't?" Clarke asked, walking over to find the sparked wires of what looked like some sort of communications system to her. Bellamy remained silent behind her, his jaw clenching and his nails digging into his skin. He hadn't realized what he had done before, but he knew damn well now: he sentenced three hundred people to their deaths. He traded two for three hundred. "Raven."

"My damn radio! It must've gotten loose during re-entry, should've strapped it to the ace-trug, stupid! Stupid!" Raven hollered, banging her fist against the shuttle's door. Clarke and Bellamy exchanged looks, and for an awful moment, he thought she would accuse him, but the sudden wince at her injury told a different story. 

"No, no: this isn't your fault. Someone must've gotten here before us. Bellamy, everyone saw this ship come down for miles...  _ Murphy  _ saw this ship come down." She thought and ran her hand through her golden hair, exhaling a small breath. 

"Murphy?" Raven asked, her eyes darting between the two figures in front of her and her sparkling, enflamed remnant of a radio. 

"He's the camp psycho... one of them anyway, look, we have to find him. He's the only chance at saving those people." 

He couldn't take another minute of this, knowing he would be the cause of this. He had to come clean so that they had a chance of getting the radio back. "No one else was here before us or him besides..." Clarke trailed off as her eyes connected with Bellamy's and she already knew his guilt from the expression on his face. 

"Clarke-"

"Tell me it's not true, Bellamy." She whispered, taking a step back from him.  _ Bellamy.  _ She only used his full name when she was truly upset with him and he could see anger radiating from the deadly glare that was drilling through his own eyes. " _ Bellamy. _ "

"You stole the radio." Raven thought aloud, her hand subtly reaching towards the knife in her back pocket. 

"I-I wanted to keep us safe. Clarke, if they come down here, they'll kill me. I know you don't-"

"Don't try to guilt me into forgiving you. Right now, just... just, tell us where it is Bellamy." She sighed, not able to look at him. Had he done this on her account? If so, all of this blood was shared between them.  _ First Wells, now...  _

"Tell us where the damn radio is, shooter."

Clarke whipped her head towards Raven, confused for a second until she remembered this wasn't the first time Bellamy had murdered someone for her. "Don't pull some shit about wanting to protect your girlfriend, you just don't want Jaha to float your ass when he gets down here."

"Jaha's-"

"Alive and well. You have crappy aim." Raven smirked as terror set across Bellamy's face, and he moved to Clarke, but she held her hand up, moving back from him like he was some beast. It was exactly how she used to look at Wells... 

"Bellamy, just... please, tell us where the radio is." She whispered, her voice barely audible.  _ She can't even look at me...  _ Bellamy just wanted to sit down and wither away. He was  _ nothing  _ without Clarke... she wasn't going to forgive him this time. He'd fucked up. 

"I... I... it's in the river." Raven took off towards the small stream, grunting when nothing immediately came to view. "Clarke-"

"Look, can you just... go get some people from camp to help us look? Okay?" She asked, keeping her eyes trained on the ground as her fingernails had a sword-fight with each other. 

"Y-yeah... be careful of grounders." Clarke nodded, accepting Bellamy as he took his gun from his belt, passing it off to her. They didn't share another word, and soon enough, he was on his own, running towards camp. 

"He's your boyfriend?" Raven asked after Bellamy was out of earshot, not glancing up from the rough waters of the river. She felt a rush when she saw a small fish rush past her feet, and the same giddiness that she felt seconds ago returned, but this time, it was incredibly short-lived. "A murderer?"

"He's not... he shot the Chancellor to get on the dropship with his sister and me. He's not a murderer."

"Tell that to the three hundred people who are going to die because of him, Clarke." Silence swam through them again for a couple of minutes until Clarke cleared her throat, glancing at Raven's pissed form. 

"Do you have anyone?"

"A boyfriend. He's the reason I came down here, actually." Raven smiled for a moment, thinking of his face, and his-

"Maybe I know him? Not exactly a lot of faces down here."

"His name's Finn? Finn Collins?" Clarke felt her stomach turn and her cheeks redden despite doing nothing with Finn, but... it wasn't the same for him. He'd stared at her... parts ever since they got down. Flirting with her, trying to kiss her... he had a girlfriend? "Clarke?"

"O-oh, sorry. Yeah, I know him. He's our tracker." Clarke smiled quickly before pretending to focus on the pebbles resting beneath her feet. She hadn't bathed in at least a couple of days, so the warm water tingled her skin, dancing across the patterns of dirt and blood on her body. "Useful. Not too smart, though."

Raven chuckled, and once again, that awkward silence fell between them until a crack sounded in the woods. By instinct, Clarke grabbed at the gun by her waist, eyeing the treeline carefully. "Clarke? Probably just an animal or something, let's keep searching."

" _ Clarke _ ," Raven called again, stepping towards the blonde until she saw faces emerging from the woods. One of them looked familiar. His shrowded dark hair and those chocolate brown eyes... " _ Finn _ !" Raven cried, rushing out of the water, not minding the rocks that jabbed at her soles as she sprinted from the river. 

"Raven! Bellamy told me you came, but I didn't..." He shut up as he took Clarke in his arms, not bothering to look at the other's strange glances. They all knew how Finn felt about Clarke, and how incredibly one-sided it was. "How the hell did you get down here?"

"That old ship in Mecha? Well, a few parts, some-"

"You salvaged that junk?" 

"You sound surprised." She smirked, kissing him firmly on the lips for what felt like forever. It dragged on until Jasper cleared his throat beside Finn. 

"Should we get looking for the radio or whatever?"

"Oh. Yeah." Raven nodded, suddenly conscious of how everyone had been watching them like entertainment. They all had the same look on their faces, but Raven was able to decipher it. "Bitchamy here says he dropped it in the water."

Clarke tried, but she smirked a little bit. She didn't know why it just caught her off guard. She thought nothing of it... but Bellamy saw it. He wasn't happy. He was broken.  _ This is my fault. She doesn't love me anymore, she's going to never speak with me again. You're such a fucking idiot, Bellamy.  _

"I didn't know that they were draining the oxygen. This isn't my fault." Bellamy spoke for the first time since Clarke had figured it out, and as much as he tried, she couldn't look at him. 

"Let's just find it, okay, guys?" Clarke announced, her voice quick and quiet.  _ She's mad.  _ When Clarke was silent, she was furious, just not willing to show it. 

"Here, I think I found it!" Mbege announced after minutes of silence. Bellamy sat on the side of the river, thinking things over.  _ If this doesn't work, what do I do? I'll be a murderer. Clarke will never love me again... Octavia probably knows by now, she'll hate me.  _

"Can you fix it?" Clarke asked as Raven grabbed the radio from Mbege, rubbing the parts dry with her sleeve. 

"Maybe. But it'll take half a day to dry out the components just to see what's broken." 

"Like I said, it's too late." His voice was hoarse and broken as he looked at the dead radio in Raven's hands. Clarke scoffed, rushing towards Bellamy, her expression full of hatred. 

"Do you have  _ any  _ idea what you did? They're all going to die, our friends, the people  _ we  _ need to survive down here! Do you even care, Bellamy?!" Bellamy was silent, not looking into Clarke's eyes. He hated this: fighting. He remembered how horrible it was when his sister and their mother would get into their fights, and then for the rest of the day, the only sound would be the hum of the sewing machine. 

"Three  _ hundred  _ people are going to die today, because of you! Do you-"

"Hold up. We don't have to talk to the Ark, we just have to let them know we're down here, right?" Clarke nodded, not looking back at Bellamy. She was upset. She didn't want to be, but if this was anyone else besides Bellamy they'd already be dead. She loved him, but this time, he went  _ too  _ far. 

"Yeah, but... how do we do that with no radio?" Finn asked, taking the limp machine from his girlfriend, glancing up at Bellamy as his fingers grazed the broken parts.

Raven grinned, the bandage around her head red with blood. "Follow me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story is my most read ever, so if I keep getting this support, I'll consider doing a season two of this as well, showing, well... season two. maybe even three if everyone really loves it so much. comments and kudos are always appreciative.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Bellamy is almost the death of three-hundred people? How will he get his princess back?

"We need to launch those flares  _ ASAP  _ if we have any hope of saving those people!" Raven yelled as Finn and another boy from the dropship carried a panel, urgency spilling through them. If they didn't do this right, three hundred people would die. "Finn, get that control panel to camp." She ordered, not even watching as he nodded and quickened his pace.

"You, pull up the spiring circuits in one piece so they will work." She ordered another boy before changing her gaze to Clarke, who was quietly working on another piece of the ship, her expression not showing her hurt and anger towards her boyfriend. "Clarke! Can I have a hand?" Clarke nodded, following Raven as she made her way to the rear of the ship. "Work these bolts here, gently... rocket fuel likes to go boom."

"We're gonna need  _ power  _ to fire." 

"They're tying in the batteries on the dropship," Clarke responded, keeping her head and eyes towards the ground, pretending to focus on nothing except her task. "Should be ready when we get there."

"Great, so what's the problem?" Raven asked, eyeing her friend's -were they friends now?... they seemed like it- expression as she met the girl's eyes. 

"Nothing, I just, uh... well, if we get the rockets to launch... will they see them from the Ark?" She asked, her expression dead. Bellamy had traveled back to camp, not even getting a goodbye from Clarke... just a look of utter disappointment. 

"Like the good book says, it's all about burn time and cloud cover." Raven shrugged, taking the wrench from Clarke and working on the bolts herself. "But I know your mom'll be watching." Raven smiled, but Clarke only stiffened, looking to Bellamy to comfort her to find nothing but a fern. "I've never seen anyone be so ambitious to get to the ground." 

_ It's only because she wants to save her ass.  _ Clarke thought but remained silent. "You know that, right?" Clarke's expression remained even, despite how much she just wanted to hide from it all. From Bellamy, her mother, the flares... all of it. 

"Did... it's complicated." Clarke elaborated, and just like that, the conversation was done and it became silent again.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

The flares rocketed into the sky, leaving a purple mist behind them. It sounded what Clarke thought a bomb would be like, but this was different. This was to save lives, not end them. "Think they can see it from up there?" Bellamy asked, his voice still soft. He looked down to Clarke, but she didn't return his gaze. 

"I don't know, I hope so. For your sake." She whispered, not removing her eyes from the sky. Bellamy moved back, looking at the flares as well.  _ How am I going to fix this? She hates me. " _ Forget it." She muttered, keeping her head high towards the slowly disappearing flares. 

Soon enough, the flares were gone and the 100 retreated into their tents. For the first time since they'd landed, Clarke slept in her tent, not Bellamy's. But he wasn't going to let her hate him for the entire day, or at least... he'd try. "Clarke?" His voice was small, and at first, she ignored them. After the fifth call of her name, she opened the tent-flap with a grunt. 

"What, Bellamy?" She groaned, climbing back into her bed when she saw his eyes meet hers. 

"I want to apologize. You know it was never my intention to put those people in danger. I was just trying to-"

"Protect me. Don't put your actions on me, Bellamy. I know you were trying to do what was right, but it doesn't make it any less horrible." She whispered, trying to meet his eyes. The light of her lamp reflected through his irises, and in him, she saw herself... she would've done the same thing, wouldn't she? It was for her. He did it all for her. 

"I know, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I just wanted to apologize. I know things are going to be different now, and... I just don't want to lose you. You're my life, Clarke." 

_ "You never told me what you did when I was arrested. We always were focusing on me, I-I want to know more about your life, Bel." She smiled, caressing his rough skin with her thumb. He looked at her, his eyes dark.  _

_ "I didn't have one." He answered quickly, not meeting her eyes. He saw as two ants struggled under the weight of a leaf on the mossy forest floor. "Clarke, you are my life. Without you, I... I wouldn't have one. I didn't." _

_ "It's funny, y'know? I tried to recreate your signature you made on the walls on the ceiling so I could see it when I went to sleep: so I could see you. I can't live without you, Bellamy. If anything was going to happen to you, I..." She droned off and looked him in the eyes, reaching for his hand and rubbing it.  _

_ "Hey, nothing's happening to me, Clarke, and nothing's happening to you." He edged closer to her, drawing his arm across her shoulder, keeping her small figure in his arms. "We're gonna be okay. You believe that, right?" _

_ "I know you won't let anything happen to us. I love you." She whispered pulling him closer until their lips were dancing against each other, the sounds of birds around them the only sounds.  _

_ "I love you too, princess."  _

She looked him in the eyes for the first time. Clarke couldn't lose him.. she'd be a fragment of what she once was. A horrible remix of a better song. "... okay. I'm still mad at you, but... I don't want to lose you, either." 

He breathed for the first time in a day, and thankfully, stopped a smirk from spreading across his face. "Thank you. So much." 

Clarke ran her fingers through her hair, beckoning him to the bed. She felt his frame tighten against her, covering her small body in his muscular limbs. She felt safe with him. Clarke could stay here forever with him, and in a second, she pressed her lips to his, not forgiving him fully, but understanding his actions.  _ He did it for me _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope everyone enjoyed! little fluff kind of chapter, more coming soon! comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia is gone.

"Octavia!" Bellamy called, his voice already panicked. Octavia had been missing since they fired the flares, and instead of looking for her, he was sleeping. What a great big brother, right? " _ Octavia _ !" He yelled again, closing the flap of a tent as he saw two of the delinquents... celebrating the flares. "You're up?" He asked as he stumbled into Clarke as he checked another tent. She was making rounds, classic. 

"Yeah, a little hard to sleep when hundreds of people could be dying." She sighed, running her hand through her hair. "... sorry."

"Raven's flares will work."

She looked to Bellamy, her expression tough. He knew she didn't hate him anymore, but she was still upset. "Her radio would've worked better." She whispered, her voice somehow sweet. Clarke's eyes were undressing him, shaming him.

"Have you seen Octavia?" He asked, his body language tense. He looked to Clarke like a stick had been shoved up his ass, to be brutally honest. 

"No... I mean, it's Octavia, she's probably chasing butterflies." Clarke shrugged, looking down to the ground. 

"Clarke, I've checked everywhere, she's not here." He whispered, his words quick and slicing through the air like a blade. Clarke sighed, her hand moving to her head in a sense of a headache. 

"Okay, I'll help you find her." Clarke gifted Bellamy a small smile, squeezing his hand in hers before breaking their touch to run towards the dropship, until Bellamy uttered:

"I already looked." 

"Okay, let's just check again. Go to the dropship, I'll check the tents." He looked towards her, stopping for a moment. 

"Thank you." 

"Don't thank me, she's my family. I'm not doing this for you." Clarke whispered, disappearing into the darkness before Bellamy could even respond. As much as he wanted to ignore it, there was a ripple in their relationship. One that would last. 

\-----------------------------------------

It was dark where she woke up. Octavia could feel blood dotting her forehead and her hair sprawled across the damp floor, but couldn't bring herself to move. Pain riddled her bones as she slowly sat up, seeing the chains binding her to a stone pillar. Terror immediately filled her lungs as she started to hyperventilate. "Bellamy! Clarke?" 

Octavia looked around, seeing pipes and odd toys filling her vision, but it was very dark, so she couldn't really see anything. "Ow." She moaned as her hands began exploring her right knee, seeing a tightly tied bandage wrapped around it. "W-what?" 

In a horrible moment, she heard footsteps, and terror filled her lungs.  _ What is he going to do? Where am I? Where's Bellamy, Clarke?  _ Suddenly, the light of a torch filled the cave and she scrambled up, quickly falling to the floor due to her knee. " _ Ah, fuck _ !" Octavia moaned as she collapsed to the floor, stone meeting her head with a sickening  _ crunch.  _ "Please, please don't hurt me!" She cried, holding her hand out at some sort of figure. 

His clothing was fabricated from grass and he had terrifying face paint smeared across his face. He was strong -ripped even- and Octavia was frozen until he strutted towards her, a flame seemingly in his hands. "No, no,  _ please _ ! Please, don't hurt me!"

"No! No, please, don't!" She screeched as the man pushed the flame towards her knee and she screamed even louder until she felt darkness take her, and just like that, she was gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating for so long, I've had family... troubles with all of this corona stuff, and also, it was my graduation for junior high today. yay i guess. bc of that, sorry, but this chapter's a bit small.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia is missing, and just as they're about to search, the sky sends a message.

"She's not anywhere in camp. Did you find anything?" Bellamy asked, his throat feeling as if it was closing around him. He failed his sister, she was gone. She could've already been killed by grounders and he wouldn't have even known. 

"Yeah, c'mere." Bellamy felt himself breath as he sprinted after Clarke, who was following a trail of deep footprints. "Look, there's a trail of footprints going from her tent to outside the wall. We need to get Finn, he's good with this stuff."

"Finn? Really?"

"Do you want to find her or not? He's the only tracker we have, we need him." Bellamy rolled his eyes and sighed, following Clarke into Finn and Raven's tent. It seemed no one at camp was willing to tell Raven how he'd been acting towards Clarke before she got here. 

"Fine," Bellamy grumbled, kneeling beside Finn and Raven's tent. "Hey, we're not going to walk in on anything, right?" Bellamy yelled into the tent, answered with a groan. 

"What do you want, Bellamy?" Finn yelled, opening the tent flap. They were both dressed, a pair of scissors in Raven's hands. Finn's hair was noticeably shorter than before. 

"Octavia's been taken by the grounders. You're our only tracker, so c'mon." Finn nodded. Everyone knew not to mess with Bellamy when Octavia was in the picture. Judging by Clarke's face, this was serious. 

"Okay, so-"

Clarke was cut off by murmurs outside camp, yelling and whispers spreading among the group. "... the hell?" Clarke whispered, exchanging glances with Bellamy before running out of the tent. 

"Guys, did'ya see that?!" One boy yelled, pointing towards the sky. As Clarke looked up, she felt her stomach twist in her gut. 

"Oh my God..." She whispered, her hands covering her mouth. Raven followed behind, her voice hoarse and dead.

"They didn't work... they didn't see the flares." 

"And you know that from one meteor shower?" Bellamy rolled his eyes until he saw the stray tear being wiped from Clarke's face. 

"It's not a meteor shower, it's a funeral, Bellamy. The ashes of three hundred being released to the ground... this is what it looks like from the other side." She croaked, not able to tear her eyes from the sight. She wasn't worried about her mother. A council member wouldn't be floated, it's just not how things worked... but working class, some of her friends from school... there was a chance they were already dead. "They didn't get our message."

Raven's face twisted into one of fury as she tackled Bellamy, pushing him against a tree. "This is  _ all  _ because of you!"

"I helped you find the radio!"

"Yeah, after you jacked it from my pod and trashed it!" Raven sounded into his face, her eyes teary and furious.  _ Why was Clarke still with him? Didn't she care?  _

"He knows. Now he gets to live with it." Clarke whispered, glancing towards Bellamy. 

"All I know is that my sister is out there and I'm going to find her," Bellamy growled, retreating into the woods with his axe strapped to his side.  _ My sister: my responsibility. " _ You comin' or what?" Bellamy asked, looking as Clarke looked between him and the funeral dashing through the stars. 

"Yeah." She murmured, following him and nearly a group of twenty into the woods, not all of them armed. Clarke wasn't stupid enough to ignore the fact that bringing a group like this -most of them not having more than a switchblade- into the dangerous forests with a few torches was just asking for a blood bath, but... it was Octavia. Octavia's life was worth all of this. 

Raven turned to Clarke, giving her a look. "Shush... look three-hundred people won't be enough. The oxygen levels are going to keep getting worse and more people will die unless we show them we're alive. Is there any way you can fix the radio?"

"Guys... they're leaving, we gotta go." Jasper was a mess. Clarke knew how from the first second at the river, he was in love with Octavia. His eyes were glassy with tears and he seemed to jump at every noise... poor Jasper. 

"I gotta do this," Finn whispered to Raven as she pulled his arm, looking at him with large eyes. "And you should stay and fix the radio."

"Fix it? The transmitter's smashed, we're shit out of luck, Finn." She seethed, glaring at Clarke for a second. Every question in Raven's head asked how she was still with Bellamy. He murdered 300 people, shot the chancellor... how? "Unless there's a parts depot down here, we're not talking to the Ark." 

"Wait, I... I think I might know where you can get one. Finn, you go, Raven will tag along with me." She whispered, thinking back to when Finn hid Charlotte and her away from Finn. Clarke was usually a fighter, not a hider, but they didn't have much of a choice. She never did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, sorry for a short chapter. i know this excuse is way too overused, and i'm so thankful for all of you reading. i'm coming up short on my part, i've just been very busy with my graduation, and ever since quarantine started, i haven't seen any of the friends i love in six months, and it's worsened my depression a lot, so for that, i am sorry. also, i don't know if any of you play games, but come on, i also have to mentally prepare myself for the last of us 2 because i'm going to cry at that so much lol. thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia is missing, and Bellamy would be damned if he isn't going to go looking.

"So, where did you guys find this place?" Raven asked, a brilliant smile on her face as her eyes took in the sight of all the clothing and photos. Her thumb caressed the rotting paper of the portrait of a small girl, a massive smile on her face.  _ Who were you?  _

"Oh, Finn found it." She replied quickly, grabbing a lamp and shaking it, light quickly exfoliating from it. "Used it to hide from Murphy."

"The camp psychopath?"

"Yeah, the camp psychopath... wait, Raven, would this work?" Clarke ran over, showing a toy car in her hands. 

"If you can find the remote, yeah. Should have the parts I need." Clarke smiled, breathing for a second. "C'mon."

**_ Line-Breaker.  _ **

" _ Bellamy!"  _ A voice called, ushering him over and pointing a torch towards a silhouette in the distance. "Is that hers?"

Without even thinking, Bellamy ran down the hill, not bothering as he nearly fell on his face. His hands fingered the grimy ribbon before he looked back to the search group. Some had gone back, frightened by the sounds of branches snapping or the occasional noise in the woods. Whatever. They didn't love Octavia as he did, didn't know her. He would do anything for his sister, his responsibility. "It's hers."

Soon enough, Finn and Jasper were behind him. Jasper was... shaken. He didn't look right. Maybe he really did care about his sister, not as much as Bellamy did, but his look said something else. "She went this way." Finn pointed to a pair of footsteps sunk into the dark mud. They could barely see anything, but there was no way in hell that Bellamy was waiting until the morning to find Octavia. She could be... no, she couldn't. She wasn't dead. It just wasn't true. It couldn't be. 

Meanwhile, he'd left Clarke to go and venture into the woods with Raven and nothing but a switchblade in the dark. Bellamy  _ hated  _ leaving her like that with a burning passion, but Octavia was in more danger. Those bastards had captured Octavia, and he'd been damned if he wasn't going to get her back. 

"Look, they go deeper this way... he was carrying her."

"He?" The things he could be doing to his little sister, killing her, doing... unspeakable acts. Bellamy had to find her. If he failed, he wouldn't be alive again. "Through here. Come on." 

After the entire night of looking, the group had thinned to only seven. Bellamy, Finn, Jasper, John Mbege, Roma, Monroe, and Charlie, a boy from Mecha on the Ark. "We lost it... I got nothin'." Finn sighed, running his hands down his pants. 

"Keep looking." Bellamy breathed, slicking his hair back. Finn stopped, surveying every part of the green display in front of him, but... nothing. Everything seemed so  _ normal.  _ They lost it. 

Bellamy thought he heard a footstep behind him -near John-, but played it off as a desperate trick of his mind to frighten him. He was scared, but not of the grounders. Bellamy was scared he was too late. 

"Look, wandering around aimlessly isn't a good plan. We should backtrack, try and find the-"

"I'm not going back." Bellamy cut him off, his voice brisk. He was losing patience. Spacewalker bragged about being so great, but he couldn't find his damn sister... though, neither could Bellamy. 

"Hey... where's John?" Roma asked, picking at her nails. Roma was quiet, shy. Bellamy was surprised she even came, he could sense the fear in her eyes. It just made him more grateful. 

"I just saw him a second ago."

"Spread out, he couldn't have gone that far," Bellamy ordered. A horrible silence was sprawled in the air. They all knew what happened to John. None of them could admit it. 

Abruptly ending the silence, a sickening  _ thump  _ fell behind Bellamy and Finn. Bellamy's mouth lingered open in shock as his eyes took in the pathetic sight of John's body, his lips shrouded with blood. His eyes were wide open. It looked as if his murderer had just frozen him, killing him instantly. 

John's throat was slit, shown by the blood dousing his clothing.  _ Fuck.  _ Bellamy thought, cut off by a horrible scream. " _ John. _ " Roma cried, her hands covering her mouth. 

"They use the trees." Finn panted, looking above him in apprehensive horror. Bellamy stared down at John's body, a horrible feeling of guilt spreading through him.  _ I led all of these people out here... his death is on me.  _

"We shouldn't have crossed the bounty."

"Now can we go back?" Roma sniffled. Her face was doused in tears, but the shock had already worn off. They had to get used to people dying down here. 

"There." Jasper pointed with shaking fingers towards the horrifying figure of a grounder in the distance. He was just... standing there. Bellamy didn't know if it would be scarier if he attacked or not. 

"Another one," Charlie muttered, his face twisted in abject horror. "They're going to kill us... aren't they?" He whispered, feeling stinging tears crown in his eyes. He didn't want to die. 

"We should run." Finn huffed, looking to Bellamy. In a split second, the chase was on. The grounders charged after the group, but... they were lingering as well. Staying behind, just making the kids continued their weak escape plan. It was a trap. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading! kudos and comments are always appreciated!


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The grounders find Bellamy and Finn as they're out scavenging for his sister.

"Come on, Bellamy, fucking run!" Monroe screamed, lagging slightly behind the older boy. There were three of them, just... watching. It was as if they were laughing at the delinquents' fraudulent attempt at escaping. Now that Bellamy looked... Roma and Charlie had both gone missing. "Roma!" She called into the woods, desperate to see the familiar braids of her friends, but was met with nothing. 

"'Roe, come on!" Bellamy roared, pulling her along. And then, in a matter of seconds... they were gone. The grounders' haunting silhouettes had vanished from the tree-line, and nothing could be heard but the screams of disturbed birds. 

"You think they left?"

"They wouldn't have left, that's like leaving a meal after you cook it." Monroe hissed, glancing every couple of seconds, her hands shaking. "We're so fucking dead."

"No one's dead... we're still breathing, hm?" Bellamy huffed, making his way through the woods. If they were attacked, Clarke could've been as well. Their radio would be destroyed, their only engineer, and the reason for his existence. They had to get back to camp. 

"Oh my God... guys, look," Jasper whispered, his eyes bugging from his head. Sprawled in front of the group was the tree the size of a cargo truck. Something odd was implanted in the center, and as Bellamy stepped closer... his blood ran cold. " _ Roma. _ "

"Jesus," Bellamy whispered, his stomach suddenly tugging at itself with disgust. Before he could even say anything, vomit erupted from his throat, landing beside Roma's limp, bloodied body. 

"We should get-"

"No. We came this far, we need to make sure that John, Charlie, and Roma didn't die for nothing." Bellamy spat, dragging his sleeve across his mouth in a sickening motion. "... she only came because of me."

"They can kill us whenever they want," Finn announced, his head swiveling as if it were on a chair. 

"Then they should  _ GET IT OVER WITH!"  _ Jasper bellowed, his words spiraling into the misty, damp air. It still must've been only around noon or so, yet, so much blood had been spilled... it was sickening, how much could change in a day. 

"Jasper-" Jasper screamed into the air again, fury escaping his lungs. It was scary to see Jasper of all people like this. He was supposed to be the insignia of hope, the team mascot... instead, blood was panned across his cheeks where a smile used to lay. 

" _ Shut up _ !" Bellamy screamed as a figure returned on the tree-line. It had loose -yet somehow tight- leather clothing, sewn with blood and what looked like the bones of what laid underneath tailored on his limbs. 

"F-fuck...  _ RUN _ !" Monroe cried, tears pooling in her eyes. Her braids barely resembled the original shapes. She shook her head, her eyes squinted closed, refusing to look as the figures approached, their blades wielded in her hands. 

And then, all of a sudden, it stopped. A blaring horn bled through the air, and it was over. The grounders had vanished as soon as they were there. "Bellamy, Bellamy... the horn... I heard it when the fog hit." Finn remembered, glancing towards his bag, ripping his tent from the sleeve. "Everyone under,  _ now _ ." 

"Come on, come on." Monroe cried under the dark tent. She felt Jasper budge next to her, wrapping his shoulder around her. Her heart felt a little warmer, but deep down, fear bled through all four of them, no matter how much they tried to fight it. 

After around five minutes of just holding his breath, Bellamy had had enough. There was nothing...  _ literally _ . No rush of the wind, but chirps... of birds. "There is no acid fog." Bellamy groaned, ripping the tent off of them. 

Though they screamed at first, he was right. The day was full of fresh air and chirping insects. It seemed almost as if it was normal. 

"Maybe it was a false alarm?" Finn asked, crouching over sticks and twigs, trying to find out if they just missed out. Bellamy shook his head, torturing blades of grass between his finger-tips. 

"No. Someone saved us."

"Octavia?" Jasper asked, his expression suddenly lighter. Maybe she was alive... she was okay. 

"Shit, they're coming back!" Monroe whisper-hissed, pointing towards a single figure in the trees. This one had no hood, but his skin was shrowded with two dark black tattoos covering his face and limbs. 

"No, he's alone... he doesn't see us, I'm going after him." Bellamy hissed, quietly chasing through the woods with a determined look on his face. He was going to get his sister back. That was a fact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, sorry for no updates for a while! The last of us two came out, and I had to mentally prepare myself/sob over that for twenty-five hours of blissful torture. There will be another update in two or three days. thanks for reading!


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and the hunting group succeed in their mission to find the younger Blake.

"C'mon, he went to this cave."

"Are we sure we should be following this guy? What if he-"

"There's four of us, one of him."  _ Hopefully five.  _ Bellamy thought to himself, his fingernails digging into his skin anxiously. What if Octavia wasn't here? Where would he go then? It sure as hell wouldn't end well for the grounder, that was for damn sure. "He has no chance."

"They took down a lot of us, I'm not sure-"

"Do you want Octavia to die, Spacewalker?" Bellamy spat, making sure to keep his voice low. "Because she will... if we don't follow this asshole and see what he knows," Bellamy growled, not looking back at his friends as he quietly raced through the woods, careful of each branch bracing his skin. 

"Fine, but as soon as we get her, we're getting the hell out." 

\----------------------------------

_ The footsteps were coming back. The man... Octavia was scared. She was saved by him, but she was terrified of him. She wanted Bellamy, she wanted Clarke. Octavia wanted more than ever to be back at the dropship with her friends.  _

_ "P-please, let me go! My friends are gonna come, they're going to come get me soon!" Octavia warned him as the figure approached. She hid the rock in her palm, concealing it behind her back. "Please, stay away!" She cried again, and before she knew it, the rock was against the man's head, and she was alone.  _

_ "Fuck, I'm... sorry." She whispered, grabbing the keys from his belt and unchaining herself, and then she heard it... footsteps echoing down the hallway.  _

_ Octavia's blood ran cold, and as she grabbed her rock, tears began to form in her eyes. What if there were more? There was no way she could take down another one.  _ And then, she saw him.  _ Bellamy.  _

"B-Bellamy?" She whispered. He ran towards her, taking her in his arms and squeezing as tightly as she could. "You guys came?"

"Of course we came, O." He whispered, hugging her even tighter. Octavia's mouth shifted into a small smile as Jasper, Monroe, and Finn all walked in. 

"We should get out of here... before he wakes up," Finn whispered, eyeing the man on the floor, not realizing his eyes were slowly opening. "'Roe, make sure no one else is following us?" Finn asked, watching as she nodded and moved towards the entrance. 

"Wait. We should take him. See what he knows." Bellamy released Octavia, looking down at the monster beside his sister. The one who...  _ he hurt her.  _ "He could know if they're attacking, he could be useful."

"Bel... Bel, no. He  _ saved  _ me. That spear for Roma, it was for me, he saved me!" Octavia whisper-hissed, standing in front of the body with her arms spread. "We aren't taking him."

"Yes... we  _ are.  _ I don't know if you forgot, O, but he kidnapped you. Look at your fucking head, there's blood all over you! We're taking him back to fucking camp." Bellamy growled, moving towards the grounder. 

"Bellamy, no!" Octavia was pushed aside as Bellamy grabbed the grounder's spear, looking down at Finn, who was kneeling beside the figure. 

"Finn, move," Bellamy ordered, his curly hair dripping down in a line of sweat and blood on his forehead. "Finn, fucking move." He ordered again, pushing the boy aside a few inches. 

"Look... the foghorn... he saved-"

Finn was cut off as the grounder burst awake, and in a haunting moment, a blade sunk into Finn's flesh. The boy fell to the side, a deafened scream for help escaping his lips. Instantly, Bellamy knocked the grounder unconscious, looking back to Jasper and Monroe. 

"Get Finn up, we need to get him back to Clarke.  _ Now _ !" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, sorry. i know i've been half-assing my job as a writer, I'm sorry. I live on Long Island, and my internet's been fucking all over the place. There will be another update this week, I promise. Thank you all for reading, kudos and comments are always appreciated!


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn's stabbed, Bellamy has a new 'friend.'

"Clarke, where's Clarke?!" Monroe yelled, rejoicing as she saw a strand of golden hair rushing towards Finn and Bellamy. 

"What the fuck happened? Octavia?" Clarke took the girl in her arms, squeezing her tightly before looking back to Finn. "Grounders?" Clarke asked, sighing when Bellamy nodded, his expression not leaving his girlfriend's face.  _ She can do this.  _

Blood began to pour on Clarke as she helped Bellamy bring Finn to the dropship, looking away from him the entire time. Knowing his girlfriend, even if that blood was washed off if Finn died, it'd never disappear. "Raven, where's Raven?"

"She's in the dropship on the radio." 

"It's working?" 

"The radio is, the frequency isn't." Clarke frowned, sighing as Finn was laid against one of the metal tables in the dropship. The place already smelled of blood. The first floor had become the unofficial medical ward for Clarke, and judging by the blood staining her shirt, she didn't leave it often. "Raven-"

"Oh my God! Is that- what happened to him?!" Raven's hands clasped over her mouth, not knowing if to reach for Finn or prepare a eulogy. 

"Grounder got him while we were looking for Octavia, look, we need the radio working, I... I need to talk to my mom." Clarke stuttered, and in an instant, three years of grief resurfaced, and she found her hands shaking a small bit. Bellamy moved towards her, but she pushed him away. 

"Clarke-" Raven started, seeing the expression on her friend's face. She never felt so grateful. It was clear Clarke and Abby had an open wound, but the blonde was willing to put it aside to save Finn. 

"Just get it working, I need to clean this." Clarke walked towards Finn before Bellamy or Raven could even argue. "Okay, okay. I can do this. I can-"

"You can do this, princess," Bellamy assured her, sitting right by her side as she pulled her hair back. "You got this." His voice was smooth, almost calming. It reminded Clarke of when she'd get nightmares in her cell when she fell asleep on Bellamy's lap... when she woke up without him there anymore. 

"Okay. I need you to hold him still, his breathing's going to make it hard to clean this." Bellamy nodded, placing his grip on Finn's shoulders with a firm strength. Something in Bellamy's stomach was twisting as Clarke, dipped her hands in Monty's moonshine, an ocean of blood rushing off of her palms. "Make sure you don't go anywhere near the wound, your skin isn't sterile."

"Alright. Hey..." Bellamy nudged Clarke's shoulder before she dragged the cold rag against Finn's skin, clearing the blood off. "... you have this." He inspirited her once again, smirking when he saw the tiniest hint of a smile curl from her beautiful lips. 

"I hope so." She breathed, wiping blood and sweat from Finn's stomach. The wound began to clear, but it only made it look worse. Static from the radio was roaring in Clarke's ears, and then... " _ This is Raven Reyes, I need Doctor Abby Griffin."' _

Clarke was expecting to just hear another crackle of static, -she wa pretty sure she would rather that than her mother's voice- until  _ This is a restricted channel, please state your name.  _

A moment of silence passed in the dropship as people started to pile in. The growing storm outside didn't even register to Clarke, but the swarm of people did. "H-holy shit! This is Raven Reyes, I'm from Mecha Station. We need Doctor  _ Abby Griffin _ !" 

Clarke's mouth was hung open in an o with tears already forming in her eyes. "Clarke-"

"Please, just... get all of these people out of here. I can't operate with this crowd." Bellamy nodded, hesitating for a second. Clarke's hands were smearing blood on her as she ran them through her hair, not caring it was dying it red.  _ Fuck... does she- no there's no way she'd know I know... how do I tell her? How do I operate with this on my fucking shoulders?!  _

"Everyone get upstairs, now! Monty, close the doors and-"

" _ Holy shit _ !" A scream interrupted him. Bellamy looked to see Monroe and Miller, dragging the bloodied body of a groun- no... it wasn't  _ a  _ grounder, it was the one who kidnapped Octavia... who stabbed Finn. 

"Is that a grounder? Who is he? Why the hell are you bringing him in here?!" Dozens of voices started a chorus of screaming and yelling.  _ Clarke wasn't having it.  _

"Oh my... everyone, shut the fuck up! Miller, get him somewhere that isn't here, that goes for the rest of you! Second floor,  _ right now!"  _ She screamed into the crowd, exploding for a second. Her mother, Wells, Finn, the grounder, the 300 deaths on Bellamy's and her shoulders, Octavia's disappearance, Finn still hitting on her when Raven was down... it was all too much, and just for a second, she let it show. She let the stress of being in charge show, but it was gone as soon as it was over. 

It seemed she scared everyone because they quickly shuffled up the ladder one by one, Miller, Monroe, and the grounder going first to the third floor. Octavia was right after them, a look of terror on her face. Bellamy itched to follow, but Clarke needed- "You too, Bellamy. I need as few people in her as possible, make sure Miller doesn't kill that grounder."

Bellamy nodded, delivering a kiss to Clarke's forehead before climbing up the ladder. The room was suddenly empty beside Raven and her, and she felt much barer without Bellamy here. Like she wasn't her full self. " _ Raven? _ " Clarke's head shot up, her eyes meeting the radio. 

" _ Abby _ ! We need your help, Finn was sta-"

"Mom," Clarke whispered, though somehow it came through the radio. She heard shuffling on the other side, and she swore she could hear the tiniest gasp of breath, a cry.  _ She's crying for me... guess Dad didn't get the special treatment. Guess I didn't get the special treatment in solitary... or when she tried to get me floated.  _

"Clarke?" The voice bled through, a whisper.  _ Now she cares... after I died.  _ Losing Clarke, or what she thought was losing Clarke seemed to open Abby's eyes, even if it was a small amount. She saw the love that was shared between her daughter and her, but sadly, it had been onesided for years now. "Clarke, honey?"

"Mom, we need your help, one of our friends was stabbed."

"Wait, honey, how-"

"Mom, he's dying now, can we do the whole catch up thing later?" Clarke snapped coldly, not even bothering to listen to the small cry on the other side of the radio. 

"I... yes, yes. Urm, where was he stabbed?" Abby asked, her voice a small bit shaky. 

"Just below the right rib. The knife is plugging the bleeding, so I can see the wound." Clarke stated, not noticing how Raven was as stiff as a stick, tears pooling her eyes.  _ He's all I have.  _

"Okay... I'll walk you through it step by step, you've helped me on far harder procedures." 

"Clarke, found some stuff upstairs." Monty slid down the ladder, looking at Finn's limp body for just a second before handed Clarke a small needle and a spool of wire. It'd hurt like a bitch, but it'd work. 

"Clarke, describe the wound?"

"The blade is at a sharp, upward angle between the six and seventh rib. It must be three or four inches in." Once again, shuffling was heard on the other side of the radio, and then once again, Abby's voice broke through. 

"Okay, that's fixable. Fever?"

"I'm guessing around a hundred and two, maybe three." Clarke pressed her palm to Finn's head, cringing when she felt what she at first thought was boiling water. 

"That's bad?" Raven asked, her voice on the verge of breaking. 

"It's normal, fever usually accompanies trauma." Abby broke in from the radio, mumbling something beneath her breath as she tried to conceal her small cries. "Clarke, I need you to tell me if there is any fluid leaking from the wound."

"Um... no, no it's clean," Clarke called, her voice shaky. If she failed to save Finn, it'd be on her conscious for her entire life. She had to do this. She had to. Or Finn wouldn't be the only one dying. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for cutting it short! like i said last time, internet is wonky, so i just wanted to get something out, especially since i've had three blackouts today and want to make sure something goes up by the end of the day. hope you enjoyed, kudos and comments appreciated!


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke tries to save Finn's life, hoping desperately she doesn't fail.

"Okay, that's good. That's really good." Abby's voice was cut off every so then, most likely because of the storm interference. "You're going to have to pull out the knife,  _ extremely _ slowly, Clarke."

"Fuck, okay," Clarke whispered under her breath, mounting her hands on the blade. Her fingers were trembling:  _ what if she messed this up? What if Finn died, because of her? Raven would be destroyed, and so would she. Bellamy would be stuck with a shell of who Clarke used to be. _

"Okay, you need to make sure you pull it out straight, too much to the left or right is bad."

"How much is too much?" Raven was pacing the room, a look of absolute horror twisting through every feature on her face. Her hair was swaying in messy strands, framing her face nicely. Now and then, she would take a swig of the moonshine and her face would result like she swallowed something sour. 

"Around two centimeters. It's okay, you can do this, sweetie." Clarke cringed at the last word, something that didn't go unnoticed by Raven.  _ What happened between them? _ _ Abby seemed to love her so much... why doesn't Clarke?  _ "Just pull up, you have steady hands."

"Pft, easier said than done," Clarke whispered, beginning to pull up on the blade, and then, all at once, Finn was awake. He was moving. "He's waking up! Raven, hold him still!"

"Finn, you need to stay still, Clarke's gonna get the knife out of you." Finn slowed, eventually stilling and looking down at Clarke. 

"Good idea..." Just as the tip was about to come into vision, and earth-shattering  _ bang  _ ran through the air and Clarke fell on her side, the knife in her hand nearly cutting through her neck. A scream escaped Clarke's lips as Raven and she were both thrown aside by the storm, a piece of the dropship falling onto Clarke, pinning her down. 

"Shit!" Raven breathed, seeing Clarke's pinned down figure. She started to run to help, but Clarke put up her hand. 

"No! You need to sew the wound closed before he bleeds out, you know how to do that?" Raven nodded, leaving Clarke with a look of disdain on her face. 

Clarke moaned in pain, trying to get the piece of heavy metal off of her but finding rather quickly that there was no use. And then, the lid that laid above the ladder to the second and third floors opened, and she saw a familiar face. "Bellamy?" She whispered. It was hard to breathe, as the metal was pinning her lugs to her hips.

"Shit, Clarke, what the-"

"The storm knocked the dropship... up a bit." She wheezed, finding it harder and harder to talk with every passing second. "It's too heavy, you should make sure Raven isn't fucking Finn up."

"Hey!" Raven called from the examination table, pushing a needle and thread through her boyfriend's skin, a look of disgust painted across her features. 

"No, this isn't too heavy, I can get it up for a couple of seconds so you can crawl out." Her rib was broken, almost definitely. Difficulty to breathe, blinding pain every time she managed to... broken rib, maybe two. "Okay, are you ready, Clarke?"

Clarke nodded, her strength quickly leaving her as she weakly pushed herself out from under the metal, eventually finding Bellamy's arms. "Are you okay?" He asked, eyeing her from head to toe, looking for even a papercut. 

"I think my rib's broken, but I'm fine." She enunciated after seeing the concern dawn across Bellamy's face at the scary words. "I'm fine. There's not much you can do for it."

"Really? There's nothing I can do, or-"

"How is it... going with the grounder?" Clarke asked, taking pauses in her sentences to work through the pain running through her veins. The dropship didn't look that messy from the crash, just a little dirt on the floor and various fallen objects sprawled across the floor, but Raven had organized it a small bit after seemingly finishing the stitches. Finn was out again. 

"We're, um... we're trying to get him to tell us things about them, but it-" When he saw the look on Clarke's face, he stopped. "Clarke, we didn't want-"

"You're  _ torturing him _ ?" Clarke gasped, looking to Bellamy for another answer. "Bellamy..."

"He isn't giving us any other choice, Clarke." 

"Of  _ course _ you have a choice, you're just saying that to make yourself feel better... Oh my God, I'm going up there." Clarke breathed, quickly scrambling up the ladder, Bellamy close behind. 

Of course, before climbing up, she glanced towards Finn. He wasn't bleeding anymore, but a thin layer of sweat swam in his skin. He nearly looked peaceful at one second, but the mirage was soon waved away. He would survive, with some proper rest. "Clarke?" Miller's voice met her, but she pushed him away, stepping into the third floor. 

"Jesus, we're officially grounders," Clarke announced as her eyes met the grounder, blood and sweat coating him, much like Finn downstairs. "You need to stop this, this isn't who we are."

"Who we are and who we need to be to survive are different things," Bellamy whispered behind her, eyeing the grounder. Clarke rolled her eyes, moving towards the grounder. "Clarke, what are you-"

"I'm untying him, so I can treat his wounds. Y'know, so he doesn't die." Clarke spat, not giving Bellamy another look. But Bellamy quickly made his way over, pulling Clarke's hands from the restraints holding the grounder. 

"You can't untie him, he'll kill all of us."

"Are you seeing the same grounder that I am? He's five seconds from death, Bellamy, I think you made sure of-"

" _ CLARKE _ !" It was Raven, screaming Clarke's name as loud as she could. "He's seizing!"

"Shit... I'll be back." Clarke promised, eyeing Bellamy carefully. He was different now, a different person than the Bellamy she knew on the Ark. He was turning into a grounder. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so... i'm assuming everyone has seen the stuff that came out about bob. I'm not sure if anyone knows this, but I myself am a victim of domestic abuse from my dad, verbal and emotional, so to see this with what I looked up to as an older brother is really... not great. it really hurts to know there are still people stanning bob and eliza, even after that girl's post. always believe the victim first, because you can end up defending an abuser, or a rapist. I am still going to continue this series, I'm trying to seperate fiction and reality, even though it's really hard to see his face on screen because of the abuse i've gone/am going through. so, rest assured, i'm not going anywhere. 
> 
> also, I just wanted to say, for the week of the 25th to August 1st, I'm not going to be updating. I'm going on a vacation to Ocean City, NJ with my crush and his family, -wish me luck- so I won't be able to update, since I don't have a laptop or anything I can write with during the trip. Expect one or two chapters during that week that I'll most likely pre-write, but other than that, it's going to be a pretty barren week. sorry! also, i'm going... parasailing? whatever that is. i'm going 500 fucking feet up, so prayers are appreciated.
> 
> okay! thanks for reading! kudos and comments are always appreciated, guys! you have no idea how much it means to me to see so many people reading/enjoying this series! love to all of u!


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions rise as Finn's life slips away, something the grounder envies.

"What happened?!" Clarke asked, running towards Finn's body, the limp from the debris falling onto her ribs and legs pausing her a small bit. 

"I don't know, he just started shaking!" Raven cried, tears spilling down her eyes. Clarke nodded, instantly by Finn's side. "Clarke! Can you fix it?!" 

Clarke was silent for a moment, then looked towards Finn's wound, curiosity running through her. It looked... wrong. The skin was taut when it should've been loose and bloody. A dark liquid was in the center of the wound, around five or six drops of the foreign substance. "I've seen this before..." She murmured, searching for the blade that had put Finn into this state. 

"Clarke?" 

"The wound, it's infected with something." She whispered, searching for the wound with a look of desperation. Raven shook her head, more tears spilling from her face as Finn's body continued to shake on the examination table. 

"N-no, I saw you sterilize  _ everything _ !" Raven whimpered, watching as Clarke paced the room, the knife suddenly in her hands. Her suspicion was correct, a dark, jet-black ink-like liquid was dripping from the blade.  _ Poison.  _

"I didn't sterilize the knife." Clarke hissed, carrying the hilt between her teeth and scrambling up the ladder, a look of pure hatred on her face.  _ He was going to die no matter what I did. That son of a bitch watched as Finn was dying in front of us... as I killed him.  _

"Clarke?" 

"Get the hell out of my way." It was one of Bellamy's boys, blocking the entrance with a look of confusion as he stared down at the blonde, quickly noticing the blade in her hand. 

She didn't even waste time to look at Bellamy, she raced towards the grounder. He certainly looked bloodier than he did in her last visit. "What's on this?!" She growled, holding the knife in front of her with a look that couldn't even comprehend her anger... her desperation. 

"What are you talking about?"

"He poisoned the blade." Clarke hissed, her voice quick and furious. The grounder didn't even look at her, instead, his eyes were on Octavia, who was suddenly looking towards him differently. He saved her life, but... she didn't know what to think of him. It was all too confusing, now, she was almost glad she didn't have to deal with boys on the Ark. "All this time, you knew Finn was going to die no matter  _ what  _ I did. What is it?! Is there an antidote?!"

Clarke's voice was the only sound in the entire room, apart from the sheets of rain falling across the thick layers of metal that laced the dropship. "Clarke, he doesn't understand you." Clarke wasn't even listening. Her body was glazed with a thin layer of sweat and blood, some of it her own from the debris falling on her. 

"Vials." Bellamy exhaled, rushing towards a small compartment that had been in Lincoln's bag. When they first found it, it made no sense, but that was starting to change. "It's gotta be here." 

Clarke tossed the knife aside, nearly grazing the grounder's skin with it. "You'd have to be  _ stupid  _ to have a poison around this long without an antidote," Clarke whispered to herself, grabbing the vials from Bellamy. They were all murky-colored, swamp greens, or dark blues. They looked like nothing Clarke had ever seen.

"Which one?" She barked, glaring into the eyes of the grounder. He was soaked in sweat and blood, while the last drops of his facepaint were smeared across his eyelids. "Which one is it?!" 

"Answer the question!" Bellamy hollered, his palms quickly curling into fists. Octavia looked bittersweet, glancing between her real family and the man who had saved her. 

"Show us, please." She begged, a look of disdain etching across her features.  _ He stabbed Finn, why can't I bring myself to hate him?!  _ Dried blood still caked Octavia's forehead and arm, sending a ripple of pain across her nerves now and then, since Clarke hadn't yet had time to fix her up. 

"Which one?! Our friend is  _ dying  _ down there and you can stop it!" Clarke's voice was desperate now, an insolent cry for help to the world, even though she knew no help was coming. 

Bellamy caught a glance from Clarke, and even though it wasn't even a second long, he knew what it meant.  _ Fuck _ . He thought. It wasn't like he enjoyed torturing the grounder, but if it was Finn or him, it was damn well going to be Finn. He was one of them, the grounder wasn't. It was that simple. 

"I'll get him to talk," Bellamy growled, moving towards one of the many blades they'd fabricated from the bent metal of the dropship. 

"Bellamy, no!" Octavia cried, trying to drag Bellamy back, but quickly saw it was useless. 

"He  _ wants  _ Finn to die, O, why can't you see that?!" Bellamy screamed, his voice louder than it had ever been with Clarke  _ or  _ his sister. "Do you want him to live or not?" Bellamy turned to Clarke, her expression full of anguish, but also blank in a way. It looked too calm for the situation. 

_ Why me?  _ Was all she could think before looking towards the grounder. One of his eyes was swollen shut, but he was staring right at her...  _ like he understood what they were saying.  _ "Clarke, you even said it yourself, this isn't who we are!" Octavia whined, taking Clarke's hand in hers.  _ He's making me choose... Bellamy is making  _ me  _ choose. Why me? Why do I have to do this? Is that what being a leader entails? Deciding who gets floated and who doesn't? " _ He was protecting me, he  _ saved my life _ !" 

"We're talking about Finn's life! Clarke, it's your play here." Bellamy added, his face angry, but also compassionate. He knew it was a dick move to place it on Clarke's shoulders, but she was the leader. The most he did was tell people to kill, all he ever did ended up in blood, but she... she was their leader. Some perks and regulations came with that responsibility, and this was one of them.

"... do it." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading guys! comments and kudos are always appreciated! there should be an update in 2-3 days!


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke suffers the repercussions of torturing a nearly innocent man.

"... do it." Those small words were all the permission Bellamy needed to grab his blade, despite Octavia's protesting. 

"Clarke... Clarke, you can stop this! He's going to die, and it'll be on you!" Clarke looked to Octavia, tears streaming down her face. She didn't want to make this decision, in fact, she knew she was going to hate herself for infinity because of it. She could only hope Octavia would understand that. "... Clarke?"

"I'm sorry, Octavia. You know none of us want to do this, but Finn is one of us. He isn't." Tears continued to sneak down Clarke's face until she eventually wiped them off, not able to look at Octavia, who suddenly had the want to cry.

Earth was supposed to be a new chance for them to be an actual family, where they didn't have to worry about getting caught on the Ark, or Clarke being floated. But now... it was a nightmare. A world where both Clarke and Bellamy were instigating a man's torture while Octavia stood by, helpless. 

"You're gonna show us the antidote or you're going to wish you had." Octavia stood by -helpless- as Bellamy ripped the man's shirt off with his blade, exposing long, dark tattoos running down the grounder's dark skin. 

"Bellamy, no... plea-"

Octavia was cut off as a haunting  _ slice  _ filled the deafening silence of the room, and soon enough, Bellamy's makeshift whip was dripping with blood. A metallic scent filled the air, making the silence even more unbearable. "Please! We don't want to do this, which one is the antidote!"

"Just tell them!" Octavia's broken voice bled through, not even realizing the tears pooling in her eyes. With another swing, Octavia saw Clarke flinch, turning her head away from the blood splattered on Bellamy's freckles. 

"Enough!" Octavia screamed, not even able to remember how many times the grounder had been lynched so far. It must've been at least seven, but he wasn't even breaking a sweat. Blood was pouring down his limbs, but all he could focus on was Octavia's eyes staring at him, broken. 

" _ Clarke, he's getting worse _ !" Raven's muffled voice interrupted the silence, which almost felt illegal. It was a silent vow the room took to be silent, and Raven breaking that almost felt like the torture would just be longer... they'd broken the vow. 

"We're running out of time, which one is it?!" Clarke's hands shoved the vials in the grounder's face, making sure he saw them. "They'll stop if you just tell us!"

"If that doesn't work, maybe this will... Clarke, Octavia... you don't have to be here for this." 

"I'm  _ not  _ leaving until I get that antidote." Octavia was silent, watching the grounder's eyes rapidly switch between Clarke and Bellamy, almost like he was trying to see inside them, see if this was who they truly were... if they were a threat. 

"Last chance." Even Bellamy sounded desperate now, his face was twisted into that of a puppy, just  _ begging  _ the grounder to comply. He felt dirty like he needed to jump in a river and stay there until the blood on his hands was never there. 

Clarke covered her ears as the blade shot through the grounder's hand with a terrible sound, one she was sure would be in her nightmares. At least it was a break from seeing Charlotte, or her father... or the victims of the Culling. "What's taking so long?! He stopped breathing-"

"What?!"

"He started again, but next time he might not." Raven clarified, before looking to the grounder. "... are those the poison?" She asked, pointing to the vials on the ground. No one responded, all of them mentally exhausted from the horror they were committing. 

"One of them's the antidote, but he won't  _ tell us which _ !" Bellamy growled, looking up at the grounder, then back to his sister, who couldn't even look at him. 

"Want to bet?" Raven asked, making her way towards the power cells. They were burning hot, or at least the part that she didn't cover with rubber, just make sure none of the idiots killed themselves with it. She pulled the cells from the metal wall, exposing the burning hot sparks flowing from the ends. 

"What are you doing?"

"Showing him something new." She muttered, pacing towards the grounder with no remorse evident on her face. This time, the grounder was backing away, his body suddenly screaming at him to get away from the girl who was literally holding his life in her hands. 

The grounder's screams echoed through Octavia and Clarke as Raven pressed the sparks to his body, resulting in horrible scars running down his skin. "Which one is it?!" The lights began to flash as she pressed it to him again, his screams even louder this time. "Which one?! He's all I have!" Raven sobbed, pressing it to him yet again. 

Octavia watched in horror, her brain begging for another way. And then she found it. In a pure panic, she searched for the knife, taking it in her hands when her eyes laid across the thing. "No more!"

"He's letting Finn die!" Raven screeched, almost looking like she was about to test her new experiment on Octavia next. And then everyone saw the knife in her hand, and the room went silent. 

"Octavia!" Bellamy cried as Octavia dragged the knife down her arm, dark red blood spilling over her soft skin when she was done.  _ He won't let me die, he won't... he won't.  _

"He won't let me die." She was right, the grounder had a look of fear that hadn't been on his face for the entirety of his torturing. A look of genuine terror. 

"Octavia, what the hell did you-" She pushed past Bellamy, weakly kneeling on the ground and pointing to the vials. 

"Come on, you need to tell us which one! This one?" Octavia tapped the vial with the knife, and she couldn't express the relief that ran through her as the grounder shook his head. One by one, they singled out the vials until the grounder nodded, gesturing to a vial of a dark green liquid. 

"Thank you." Clarke whimpered, limping as quickly as she could to get to Finn. A silence fell between the two Blake twins, one that would continue for days. 

"Don't touch me!" Octavia cried as Bellamy kneeled next to her. She looked at the grounder again, her tears drying and propelling themselves forward at the same time. It was over... she saved him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading! there'll be another update in probably three days! comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! thanks sm guys!


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia is mad at Bellamy, as she should be, but what happens when Bellamy's ignorance starts to hurt people?

"Octavia..." She was in her tent, her eyes peering to the third floor of the dropship. Clarke crept in, a look of pure anguish and depression on her face. "Can... can we talk?" Octavia nodded, already feeling tears pooling in her eyes. 

"I want to say I'm sorry for... for everything."

"For torturing the guy who saved me?" Octavia hissed, almost regretting it when she saw the path of tear streams through the blood on Clarke's face. "I know you didn't want to, I know  _ Bellamy  _ didn't want to, but... it doesn't make it any less fucked."

"I know. And... I'm not asking to be forgiven, I'm just saying that I'm sorry. I don't want things to change between us, you're like... you're like my little sister. I love you too much." Octavia felt a small tear run down her face and turned to Clarke. 

She looked  _ exhausted _ . Blood was nearly covering her cheeks and her hands were soaked in red. There was a gash on her chest and her arm, both dripping blood onto her hoodie. Correction, Bellamy's hoodie. "I love you too," Octavia whispered, allowing Clarke to take her in her arms, squeezing her tight. "I forgive you." Octavia murmured, running her hands through Clarke's hair. She felt Clarke kiss her forehead, just as her mother used to. 

After around ten minutes, Clarke let out a small moan of pain. "Clarke, you okay?" Octavia asked, releasing Clarke from her grip. 

"Yeah, just... piece of debris pinned me down, broke my rib... I think." Clarke seethed between words until Octavia finally decided to put a stop to it. 

"Okay, c'mon." Clarke looked up at her with a confused look, looking at the hand Octavia was stretching out towards the blonde. "We're going to the dropship, you have two gashes pouring blood out of your body, you need stitches. Where the hell's Bellamy?"

"He's... um, he's watching the grounder."  _ He's putting the fucking grounder over his fucking girlfriend, who's bleeding to death. Where is my brother?  _ "It's fine, he-"

"Can you stay here for a sec?"

"Octavia-" Before Clarke could even respond, Octavia was out of the tent, zipping it behind her. Clarke didn't even have the energy or strength to get up, so she just sighed, quickly falling asleep while blood continued to drip from her stomach and arm. 

"Okay, you're off watch. Send Miller in next." Bellamy ordered, watching as Monroe climbed down the ladder. He heard quiet, muffled dialogue from the ladder, but his eyes didn't leave the grounder. He seemed to be sleeping now, his eyes shut and his body not moving. "Miller, can you-"

"What the  _ fuck  _ is wrong with you?!" A shrill voice ran through his ears, startling him. Bellamy turned, seeing the furious eyes of his sister. "Are you fucking kidding me, Bellamy?!"

"Octavia, if this is about the grounder-"

"No, I couldn't give a shit anymore, I'm angry that your fucking girlfriend is bleeding to death in my tent, and instead of being with her, you're with the fucking grounder!" Octavia hollered in Bellamy's face, and for a second, it seemed like he didn't even seem changed, but soon after, his face shifted into an expression of concern. 

"What?" He choked out, quickly making his way towards the ladder, towards Clarke, but Octavia stood in front of him. "Is she okay?"

"Oh, now you care. You are ridiculous, Bellamy. You're not even my brother anymore." She spat, looking at him one last time before returning to her tent, wondering if Clarke would be dead or not when she got back. 

"Octavia!" He called after her, but he was already gone. Then, he remembered her words. "...  _ your fucking girlfriend is bleeding to death in my tent, and instead of being with her, you're with the fucking grounder... _ "  _ Clarke _ . It was his only thought as he raced down the ladder to Octavia's tent. Octavia was right, how had he forgotten about her injuries? Clarke and Octavia were all that mattered. He promised Clarke they'd have a new life here. 

_ "We can start a family."  _ Instead, he was torturing people, worrying if he was going to find Octavia or Clarke dead the next morning. "Clarke?" He asked, running into Clarke's tent when he heard a groan of pain. "Clarke?"

Octavia was stitching a cut on Clarke's arm closed, anger steaming off of her with ease. Clarke didn't even register Bellamy's presence. She was exhausted from the four-hour 'surgery' with Finn, having to talk to her mother and the guilt of torturing a man to save him. "Clarke? I'm sorry."

Clarke looked up, almost as if she just saw Bellamy was here. "It's fine, I don't care." She whispered, rubbing her eyes sleepily. Octavia was silent, pretending not to listen. "Just go to bed, I'm fine." Bellamy frowned, a new wave of guilt seemingly pushing him into the ground. 

"O, can we have a sec?" 

"Yeah, I'm done anyway." As she was walking out, Octavia pushed past Bellamy, shoving him slightly. It was silent between Clarke and Bellamy, one of whom was nearly asleep. 

"Are you okay-"

"We tortured someone, Bellamy." She croaked, looking up at him. Clarke looked broken, like this was the thing that shattered her. This was the time she saw herself as a monster after everything. "We shot electricity into his body and watched him burn."

"We had to save Finn," Bellamy responded, his voice gentle. He sad beside Clarke on Octavia's cot. She probably ran off to the dropship to sleep there, that was where he found her most nights. She barely even used her tent. "We didn't have-"

"A choice. That's what Jaha said when he was floating my dad." Clarke looked up at him, tears in her eyes. He wrapped his arm around her, his hint of stubble scratching her cheek. "I didn't tell her I know." Her whispers bled through his ears. Now and then, she'd release a quick inhale, or the sharp groan of pain. "How am I going to tell her...? My mom's the only family I have left. I'll be alone."

"No, you won't. Octavia and I are your family now." Bellamy pressed his lips to her forehead, almost as a way of saying sorry. "She hates me."

"No, she just needs time," Clarke promised, lacing her fingers with his, squeezing tightly. He was the only tether she had to this world. All it took was one stab of a knife, one arrow, and she was gone just like him. "Octavia  _ will  _ forgive you."

_ She forgave her.  _ Bellamy realized. Clarke had a peaceful look on her face as she slowly drifted into sleep, still breathing through the surplus of pain her injuries gifted her. But all of that didn't matter... as long as Bellamy was here, she'd be okay. He promised her that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading, guys! kind comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia and Clarke try to get Bellamy to return to his normal self.

"Are you okay?" Bellamy asked. Now that they were talking to the Ark, Clarke was more stressed than ever. Having to look both of her father's murderers in the eyes every second wasn't good for her. "Clarke." He shook her shoulder slightly, snapping her out of the field of thought she was entrapped in. 

"Y-yeah?" She asked, running her hair back into a ponytail, not looking him in the eyes. Bellamy sighed, looking towards the dreaded tent that concealed the Chancellor... in a way. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" Bellamy gave her a look, and she rolled her eyes, pushing past him to the water well, collecting it for her 'patients,' mostly just idiots who skinned their knee or someone who lost a tooth and thought they were dying. "Look, my mom's scheduled next, I won't have a mental breakdown just yet." She joked, but Bellamy didn't think it funny. 

"Clarke."

" _ Bellamy _ . I don't want to talk about, I have to go talk to my mom." She said the word 'mom' with such a distaste that it seemed like a poison that had entered her body. A cold was spilling over her, almost like she jumped in the river near camp. Her body was barely able to tear her away from Bellamy and towards the tent, dreading every second. 

She felt Bellamy's eyes trained on her, looking her from head to toe.  _ He's worried. For good reason...  _ She fought herself in her head, thinking about everything that happened. Octavia still was upset with Bellamy, while she'd grown closer with Clarke, almost like a way to spite him, show how she was okay without him. It was horrid. 

"Clarke." Abby's voice was sweet, almost calming, but Clarke was done. Clarke's relationship with her mother had died the second Wells told her the news. There was no recovering it, no matter how hard either of them tried. "Clarke, sweetie?"

_ Just say it. Spit it out. Let her suffer in it.  _ "I know, Mom." Was all she said. Usually, the words by themselves wouldn't be enough to translate her thoughts, but the stone-cold look of pure hatred passing through Clarke's eyes made sure Abby understood. "...  _ now  _ you're quiet." She laughed to herself, not looking as Abby clasped a hand over her mouth. 

"Clarke, he-"

"He gave you no choice?" Clarke asked, a tear falling down her face.  _ How had her life gotten so fucked? Just above a year and a half ago her parents and she were happy, and she was crushing hard for one Bellamy Blake.  _ "You could've chosen to not kill him, Mom."

Even saying the word 'mom' seemed like a betrayal to her father now. Living seemed like a betrayal. "Clarke, I lo-"

" _ Don't _ . Wells died letting me believe it was him." Clarke's voice broke, tears pooling down her cheeks now. She only prayed that her mother couldn't see. Clarke always needed to be  _ so  _ strong for everyone, especially her parents. They expected so much from her, and if she didn't pay up, her life would be over. She failed when she let her father get killed. Clarke wouldn't fail again. 

"Baby, listen-"

"No, I'm  _ done  _ talking to you!" Clarke cried, turning off the screen, pulling her knees to her chest and rubbing her tears away. Suddenly, there was a knock on the tent, though it wasn't quite audible. 

"Urm, sorry, you can't really... you can't really knock on tents, but-" Bellamy stopped talking as he saw Clarke looking up at him with puffy eyes. 

"Hey." She whispered, hiding her head back in her hands, not able to look at him. "We're done. I told her, then I told her we were done." She sniffled, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. 

He didn't speak, he didn't know what to say. All he did was sat next to Clarke on the bed beside her, stroking her hair. He hummed, presenting that song he'd lured to sleep with nearly years ago on the Ark. He had nothing else to say, but it seemed like it comforted her. After a minute, her cries muted and she hugged him back, pulling the blankets over her small frame. It was almost winter, and it was getting colder and colder with each day, evident by Bellamy's jacket slung across Clarke's shoulders. "Jesus, I'm such a mess." Clarke smiled, but her face was still hidden in the nape of Bellamy's neck on the bed. 

"We're all messes, princess." Bellamy murmured, continuing to run his hands through her hair and humming quietly. "It's just a matter if you let that control you or not."

He didn't hear anything, so he looked down. Clarke was asleep, her face hidden in his shoulder. He felt the slightest hint of drool on his skin and smiled, closing his eyes himself. 


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke deals with the mess of her family while Bellamy comforts her.

"Guys...? Guys!" A voice awoke Clarke, and she realized she couldn't see. Feeling silly, she gently pulled herself from Bellamy's grip, successfully trying not to wake him. "Hey, idiots, someone's on the phone." Clarke quickly realized it was Octavia, pointing to the monitor that beheld the face of Jaha. Her face turning red, she looked to the turned screen, fixing her hair and looking to Octavia. 

She placed a finger on her lips, looking down at Bellamy who was still asleep. It must've been morning. She still felt a crying-hangover from the previous night. His dark curly hair framed his face perfectly and his freckles almost seemed like a unique language that they shared with Bellamy. 

"Okay, give me a sec." Clarke brushed her hair back, looking towards Bellamy and then the screen, placing the headphones around her ears then looking towards Jaha. This was the second time she faced a murderer today.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

He awoke hearing arguing, and then it was silent. His hair fell uncomfortably across his face, and with panic, he realized Clarke was gone. His hand stretched for where she was minutes prior, then he opened his eyes. It looked like she'd just finished talking to someone on the monitor. It was clearly  _ not  _ her mother since she wasn't crying. "Hey." It looked like he frightened her, even though she was looking in her general direction. 

"Oh, hey," Clarke smirked, seeming better than the prior morning. Clarke seemed well-rested, the panic attack that she'd suffered the night prior barely showing.

"Everything okay?"

"We have an assignment from the Ark. There's a bunker near here, could have supplies." Clarke could tell he was thinking about Jasper and what happened when they went to the last bunker: Mount Weather. 

"Okay, we can head out after chores." Clarke nodded, still seeming a bit distant. With a wince, she shuffled to the entrance of the tent, giving Bellamy one last look before slipping out. Bellamy sighed, running his hands through his hair. Earth was taking a toll on both of them. 

He made his way towards the dropship, wincing on the inside when he saw Octavia slumped over on one of the chairs littering the ground near the ladder, a tough expression hidden behind her anger. "You're still here?" He asked, wondering if she'd gotten any sleep. He hoped so. 

"I'm not moving until you let me up there to see him," Octavia stated matter-of-factly, not looking Bellamy in the eyes. He lamented, sifting his hair with his hands. Octavia couldn't even look him in the eyes. Her brother had  _ tortured  _ someone with his own hands. It was different for Clarke because it clearly took a toll on her, but it didn't even seem like it affected Bellamy.

"Get comfortable." He stated, looking her straight in the eyes, but she broke the gaze, inspecting the fabric covering her arms instead. After more silence, he rolled his eyes, biting the inside of his cheek. "I let him live, isn't that enough?" 

"He  _ saved  _ my life and yours." Octavia scoffed, returning her gaze to her brother, studying him. He looked like he slept well, which was disturbing considering what he'd done. If Octavia couldn't sleep how did he? 

"I know you see it that way, but-"

"That's the way it is." She sat up, her nails battling each other in a violent war, making small  _ click  _ sounds. Bellamy stepped closer, looking her dead in her eyes. 

"He's still dangerous," Bellamy stated, crossing his arms.  _ What would Clarke say?  _ He thought, trying to think of how to end this war between them. He hated fighting Octavia. Besides Clarke, she was the only thing he had. 

"Only because of what you did." She shook her head, tying her hair behind her head in a quick and messy braid. Bellamy groaned, pressing his temples with his fingers.

"Whatever connection you think you have with that animal, forget it. You don't get to see him, end of conversation." Bellamy started to move away, until Octavia taunted him, even if it was a low blow. 

"You want me to hate you forever, huh?" He clenched his jaw, his nails pressing the inside of his palms to the point they threatened to draw blood. Octavia awaited a response, knowing she'd struck a nerve. 

"If that's what it takes to keep you safe, it's fine with me." He stated coldly before nearly sprinting out of the dropship, his chest suddenly filled with pressure.  _ How long until things go back to normal?  _

"What do you think they'll do with the grounder?" Monty asked, looking to Jasper. They were working on the daily rations, assigned by Clarke. For today, they'd scavenged some nuts on the edge of the forest, only a mile from where Jasper had been speared. 

"I'd rather not think about it." Jasper shivered, tossing one of the small nuts into the confines of his mouth, swallowing it in one bite. Jasper sighed, looking between Bellamy trudging towards Clarke's tent and the drop ship, mainly the third floor.  _ The grounder. _

"Well, it's been days since his friends captured him. How much longer do you think we've got 'till his friends come looking?" Monty met Jasper's eyes. For a second, it seemed to be a suddenly serious conversation, until Jasper chuckled, casting another nut into his teeth, gnawing on it like a rodent. 

"Cheer up. In that time, we'll all be dead from hyperthermia." Monty smiled, bristling Jasper's shoulder. Jasper returned to his goofy exterior, catching a nut in his mouth as Monty tossed it, clapping his hands simultaneously with the other boy after.

"... are you feeling any better?" Clarke asked, lifting Finn's shirt. Clarke wondered if Raven knew that Finn was still flirting with despite having apparently having a girlfriend. "What are you feeling?"

"Bored," Finn responded quickly, sort of regretting it when he saw the sudden change on Clarke's face. The look of annoyance. "... grateful." He corrected himself, but her face didn't change. They had tortured someone to save him, the least he could do was not complain about not having anything to do. What was he expecting, the five-star treatment with seven-course meals every hour? 

"Okay, well, since I'm going to be out today, Raven? You'll have to make sure he stays in bed and doesn't rip his stitches since I won't be around to fix them." Raven nodded, but Finn's eyebrows knotted on the center of his head, exploring Clarke's face carefully. 

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Little assignment from the Ark. Bellamy and I will be gone." Clarke informed him, not even thinking twice about it. But of course, Finn had to act like he was her boyfriend or something. 

"With the grounders, do you think that's a good idea?"

"Finn... Clarke's a big girl, she can handle herself. Besides, Bellamy will be there with her." Finn sighed, laying back in the bed and staring directly into Clarke's eyes, who felt uncomfortable. 

"That's what I'm worried about." A  _ very  _ awkward silence fell over the three until Clarke cleared her throat, picking herself up and standing. 

"Well, Raven said it: I'm a big girl, I can handle myself. Besides, it's not your place to worry about me  _ or  _ insult my boyfriend like that." Clarke snapped, suddenly angrier than she had been moments earlier. It was  _ not  _ Finn's place to baby her. It  _ especially  _ wasn't his place to insult Bellamy like that, he had his own girlfriend. 

Before Finn could even respond to Clarke's sudden anger, she escaped the tent, running into a large, muscular body. She lost her balance, tripping, and falling to the ground. "Sorry, sorry! You okay, Clarke?"

Clarke looked up, seeing Bellamy's hand and his charming eyes looking down at her. She nodded, taking his hand. "Urm, are you ready to go?" She asked, caught off guard. He nodded, gesturing to a very large bag of rations. 

"That's... a lot of rations, you know this is just a day-trip, right?" Clarke asked, glancing inside the bag and seeing many bags of the nuts that they'd scavenged for the weekly rations. The river nearby gave plenty of water, so really, hunting and gathering were their only concerns revolving food. 

"A lot can happen in a day, princess," Bellamy smirked, taking Clarke's hand before opening the gates, exposing the beautiful array of colors that she could only dream about on the Ark. It felt like she'd taken the ground for granted when it was truly a miracle. "You ready?" 

"As ever." She sighed, and with that, they ventured into the woods, unequivocally full of tension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading! i have a bunch of pre written chapters for this week since i'm going on vacation to Ocean City this week! Wish me luck that I don't get eaten by a shark or run into a fucking crab. anyway, i'll be uploading every three-four days this week because of my vk! kudos and comments are always appreciated!


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy head out to a bunker to search for food and supplies to keep the 100 from starving and freezing.

"Jaha said the opening would be somewhere around here." Whenever Clarke mentioned Jaha, Bellamy glanced down to the ground. The weight of the 320 souls he killed -along with shooting Jaha- still pummeled him whenever he opened his eyes. "Hey, maybe when we get back you can-"

"I'm  _ not  _ talking to Jaha, Clarke. I shot the man, do you really think he's going to let me live?" Clarke looked down to the ground, her fingernails clawing at each other, thinking. "What?" He asked softly, his hand finding hers again.

"Maybe if we told him how much you've helped out around here, he'd-"

"Clarke..." Bellamy pinched his nose, running his fingers through his hair with a tired expression. "Let's just look for the bunker for now." She nodded, seeing this wasn't something he was looking to discuss. "Stay close."

"Okay..." After a minute of searching, Clarke found a handle buried under a bundle of leaves and moss. "Hey, give me a hand?" Clarke called to Bellamy, waving him over. Bellamy nodded, still a bit somber from the previous conversation. He had a plan, but he knew Octavia -and especially Clarke, as well- would hate it. Despise it; despise him. 

"Watch your hand," Bellamy warned before swinging his axe down on the locked entrance, quickly bursting it open. "... creepy." Clarke chuckled as Bellamy followed her down the staircase, tossing a light to her. 

"God, part of me really hopes that this place wasn't survivable, I don't want something jumping out," Clarke whispered, waving her flashlight around at everything, scared whenever the light illuminated something that wasn't normal to her, or normal to what her idea of a bunker was. 

"You're adorable." Bellamy laughed, throwing his shoulder around Clarke and making his voice deeper, mocking her, not really trying to actually offend her. "Don't worry, princess, your shining knight is here to protect you."

"Oh, shut up." She giggled, smacking his shoulder playfully, and then something made a noise in the darkness. Clarke gasped, her hand shooting for Bellamy's in a second. "... what the fuck was that?..." She asked, her voice suddenly full of terror. 

"It's fine, it was probably just a rat," Bellamy assured her, not thinking about it. But Clarke's grip didn't dissipate, she was still frozen in place. "Clarke." She shone her light on something in the distance and for a second, two gleaming lights shone back, almost appearing as if they were eyes. "... I'll check it out."

" _ Bellamy, _ " Clarke whined, groaning as he let her go and moved towards the two glints, his axe in his hand with his torch in the second. Bellamy ignored her, his heartbeat suddenly quickening. Just as he was prepared to swing down on the two glints, a two-headed deer dashed from the darkness, scaring the absolute shit out of both of them. Clarke couldn't help but let out a scream at the sudden scare, while Bellamy tripped to the ground. " _ Jesus, fucking... _ " She took a sigh, placing her hands on her knees. "God, are you okay?" 

"Yup..." Bellamy groaned, slicking his hair back. "Fuck this place so much." He spoke both of their thoughts, causing Clarke to laugh a bit. 

"You said it. Let's get those supplies and get the hell out of there ASAP." Clarke whispered, feeling as if she were out of breath. "Hey, look. There's something over here." Clarke shone her light on at least two or three barrels, sharing a hopeful look with Bellamy. 

"Be careful, I really don't want to come across any more deer." Bellamy joked, but Clarke ignored him. She carefully opened one of the barrels, shining her light down into the contents. Clarke gasped with a large smile spreading across her face. "Look, blankets."

Bellamy scoffed, opening the others hastily to find nothing but pits of oil. "Blankets won't protect us from grounders. Why not some tents, or some goddamn guns?!" Bellamy kicked over one of the barrels, anger running off of him... until he heard a large click of something spilling from the barrel. 

"Oh my God..." Clarke gasped, her hand covering her mouth as she pointed her torch towards the tipped barrel. 

" _ Guns. _ " Bellamy smiled wickedly, taking one in his hands. He fingered the liquid they'd been hidden in, smirking. "Oil... it preserved them perfectly." Clarke sighed, running her fingers over the gun in Bellamy's hands. "Now we can kick some grounder ass. Are you ready to be a badass, Clarke?"

"Don't get me wrong, I know we need them... but, don't expect me to like it," Clarke muttered, taking the gun from him. "We have to be careful with who we give these. Monroe, Jasper, Monty, Miller..."

"Miller... he's good. You should keep him close." Clarke squinted at him, her face etched in confusion. 

"What do you mean 'keep him close?' Bellamy, what's up with you? You took like, five times the amount of rations we needed, you're acting strange..." A look of realization dawned on Clarke's face, which was evident by Bellamy shifted his weight from foot to foot at her expression. "You were going to leave... weren't you?" She whispered, not able to stare at him. 

Clarke's usually confident frame was taken over by a shy, anxious her that picked at her nails and looked at her feet while talking. "Weren't you?" Clarke asked again, her voice hushed in the dark bunker. Bellamy felt his throat close around him at the sight of her. It looked like she was going to sob. 

"Clarke-"

_ "Octavia and I are your family now. We're not going anywhere."  _ She quoted him, still not able to look in his eyes. "You were going to leave me." Clarke cried, rubbing a tear from her face. Bellamy stepped forward, placing his hand on her shoulder. She tore him off, her damp eyes looking straight through him. " _ Don't touch me _ !" She squealed, starting to pace the room. 

"Clarke, I wanted to-"

"No, I'm not falling for that again! You said that when you killed 300 people, but it's not going to work anymore!" Clarke yelled, holding her knees to her chest on the floor. Bellamy knew she had abandonment issues after Wells and her father died, then especially when her mother treated her so cruelly.  _ What was he thinking?!  _

"Octavia doesn't need me anymore, and I didn't want you to get hurt because-"

"God, Bellamy... that's what love is! Being okay with getting hurt for another person! I would die for you!" Clarke screamed, tears hurling themselves down her face. "You know how my mom was after my dad died, you know I'm not good with this shit." She whispered, hiding her head in her hands as Bellamy stood there, his heart falling apart in pieces before him. 

"I never meant to hurt you, Clarke. I wanted to keep you safe, and Octavia doesn't need-"

"Of course she needs you! You're the only family she has, you're the only family  _ I  _ have... you said you wouldn't leave, you promised." Clarke wept, her voice muffled from shielding her face in her... Bellamy's jacket. It was silent for a second before Bellamy sat beside his girlfriend, carefully placing a hand on her back, rubbing it. She was too upset to respond. 

"I'm sorry. I don't have an excuse. I just wanted to make sure Octavia and you were safe." Clarke was still furious at him, beyond that. She needed a second. 

"I'm going to take a walk," Clarke whispered, revealing her tear-soaked skin. Bellamy couldn't stop punching himself on the inside, making sure he knew what an asshole he was in great detail. 

"Wait, it's dark out and-"

"I'd rather be in the dark than be with you right now," Clarke whispered, not realizing how much that  _ one  _ sentence broke him. "Just... get the guns ready to leave, and whatever else you find." She asked, not looking back at Bellamy as she walked towards the exit of the bunker. 

"Clarke..." She was already gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! Be sure to leave kudos and a comment, please, it makes my year! The next upload will be three or four days from now, since i'll be in paradise on earth: ocean city. wish me a good time! :)


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Clarke visit a bunker, completing a mission Jaha sent them on to protect The 100 from the cold dangers of winter.

"Fuck." She whispered to herself, listening to the sounds of the crickets chirping and the wind blowing in the distance. It was silent beside her crying. Clarke knelt in the dirt beside a tree, hiding her head in her hands, just wanting to be alone... but of course, Bellamy couldn't leave it alone. Clarke heard footsteps in the distance and suddenly, she felt anger rise in her. "Bellamy, I swear to God, don't you know-"

"Trouble in paradise?" That  _ wasn't  _ Bellamy. Clarke looked up, seeing a tall figure looming over her with the barrel of a gun pointed directly at her.  _ What. The. Fuck?  _ Clarke thought, trying to recognize the figure's face... it was Dax. But something was wrong with his face. 

It was flickering between Dax and Bellamy, almost like  _ he  _ was the one holding her life with the press of a trigger. "Where's your boyfriend?" He asked. Now her father's face joined the chorus of expressions. She suddenly realized they were screaming at her, yelling horrible things. Mostly her father and Bellamy, yelling horrible names at her that made her cry even louder. "Bitch, I said where's your boyfriend?" This voice was Dax and it almost brought her back to reality. "Hey!" 

Clarke felt a cold hand wrap against her face, but when it did, it was Bellamy's face. She gasped, pawing at her face which was now dropping a small amount of blood from her lip. "Where's Bellamy?!" She still didn't respond, she was mesmerized by the glitching of the body's face, watching as it moved from Bellamy to her father to Dax, all of them screaming horrible names. "Crazy bitch..." Her father's face whispered, and suddenly, the butt of the gun met her head and everything went dark. 

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

"Clarke?" He called into the night. It had been nearly fifteen minutes since she left, what if... what if a grounder... no, no. Clarke could handle herself. She was fine. "Clarke?!" He hollered again, anxiety quickly building in his chest.  _ I never should've let her go alone, what the fuck is wrong with me?! This is all my fault.  _

" _ Clarke's gone."  _ He spun around, trying to find the source of the voice, but nothing revealed itself. " _ You killed her. _ " The voice whispered again, this time sounding much closer. " _ Broke her heart into pieces... shattered it. _ " This time, he saw the person behind her words. It was...  _ him.  _ It was his own face before his eyes, staring at him with its tongue forking in and out like a snake. 

"What the..." Bellamy whispered, looking at his doppelganger standing before him. 

" _ You were going to leave her, leave her to wallow in her own sorrow, wondering what she did wrong. _ " Bellamy shook his head, covering his ears and squinting his eyes closed. 

"No, no. She would've been better off without me." Bellamy denied, running his fingers through his hair and kneeling on the ground. The split-image walked around Bellamy and suddenly, the wind around the two started to swarm and he felt his grip on the grass beneath him becoming weaker. 

" _ That's true, why would she want to be with you? You killed three-hundred people. Who in their right mind would want to be with you? _ " The voice was no longer his, it was Jaha, staring at him with a gun to his head. "You want to save her?" He hissed, his eyes inflamed with color. Bellamy nodded, looking between his own shaking hands and Jaha's face. " _ Find her then. What are you doing sitting here? She's dying while you sit, daydreaming."  _

Bellamy nodded, racing to his feet, seeing Clarke's footsteps hidden in the dirt, and another pair...  _ What the hell is going on with me??  _ "Clarke! Clarke!" He called, finally finding her as the footsteps ceased.  _ Oh my God.  _ Her body was still, drops of blood running from her lips and a nasty gash on her forehead from what looked like the butt of a gun. "C-Clarke, Clarke!" He stumbled over his words, shaking her and begging she would wake up. "Princess, get the fuck up right now." He hissed, shaking her again. With an ocean of relief flooding to his heart, he saw her eyes flutter, pain clearly lacing through her. "Clarke... what happened, where-"

"Behind you!" She suddenly squealed, pulling Bellamy and her over as Bellamy's own axe sliced through the collar of his jacket, nipping his shoulder with a slice of blood. " _ Bel _ !" Clarke screamed weakly, still not fully awake from her sleep. The person who'd nearly killed Bellamy was now over Clarke, strangling her. 

_ I can't let either of you return. I'll be banished if I do.  _ Bellamy scrambled over to Clarke and... it was  _ Dax. He was strangling her.  _ Her eyes were already closing as she scrambled to get away, looking to Bellamy who suddenly tackled Dax. Clarke's lungs scrambled for air as she grabbed at her throat. Blinding pain rushed through her neck and head as she looked towards Dax and Bellamy tackling. 

It seemed like Bellamy was seeing red as he looked towards Clarke, seeing the bruise on her cheek and neck. "Son of a bitch!" He yelled in Dax's face, picking him up by his collar only to slam him back against the ground. Clarke was still on the ground, gasping for air. With her broken rib, she could barely breathe. It was almost like she was underwater. Suddenly, Bellamy stopped yelling when Dax flipped him over, now choking him as well. 

As much as Bellamy struggled, he couldn't get out of Dax's grip. Clarke eyed the axe that had fallen beside Bellamy. She used her arms to drag herself across the dirt, her fingers wrapping tightly around the silver metal axe. In a spur of hesitance, Clarke squeezed her eyes shut before kneeling. With a churn of her stomach, she brought the axe down on Dax's neck, feeling blood splatter across her face. Clarke suddenly had the urge to puke as she opened her eyes, meeting Bellamy's shocked face. Suddenly, she ran to the treeline, holding her stomach as she puked into the grass, her eyes quickly welling with tears.  _ I've killed so many people... I'm a monster.  _ "Clarke!" Clarke felt Bellamy hold her hair back until she finished, then he took her in his arms. 

"Are you alright?" She asked him, looking at a small bruise on his left eye and a trail of blood coming from his lips. 

"Are you?" He asked, removing her from him to look her over, his fingers grazing the bruises on her neck and cheek. "Jesus..." He whispered, kissing her cheek and neck as if he was trying to kiss the bruises away. Her eyes were drawn to the large glowing moon... until he placed his finger on her jaw, moving it to look towards him. "Hey... you with me?"

"... yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I..." Clarke couldn't even finish her sentence. She didn't cry, she just stared at him, an empty stare. Clarke felt tears roll down her cheeks as Bellamy wiped the droplets of blood resting on her skin off with her sleeve, making sure every drop was gone. 

"Are you sure?" She nodded after a second, meeting his concerned eyes. 

"Sorry, I... I don't want you to worry about me."

"Hey... it's my job to worry about you." Bellamy whispered, hugging her tightly. He felt dampness enter his shirt where Clarke's face laid and he only felt worse.  _ I'm such an idiot. I'm so dumb. If she hadn't left because of me, this never would've happened. She wouldn't have had to kill Dax.  _ "I'm really,  _ really  _ sorry." 

After a minute of silence, Clarke sniffled, taking in his fresh scent of the earth. She loved it... loved him. "I'm still mad at you... there's only one way I'll forgive you." Bellamy nodded, desperate to do anything. "You need to talk to Jaha." He sighed but shook it away. 

"I will, I promise," Bellamy swore, squeezing her a little tighter.  _ I don't deserve you. God, what did I do to deserve you? You're an angel, no one deserves you, princess.  _ "Do you want to go home?" Bellamy asked, and sighed when he felt Clarke nod against him. "Okay, let's get those guns home." 

Before they left, Clarke buried Dax.  _ I don't deserve you.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, guys! sorry, i know it's been over a week since I uploaded, when I went on vacation our internet went completely out at the house we were staying out, and I can't get my grammarly on my phone, so I was essentially fucked. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm coming out with an Outer Banks book soon, so if anyone would be into that, be sure to check it out! Thanks for reading, kind comments and kudos always appreciated!


	28. Chapter Twenty Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke recoils from her second murder.

"Sure this isn't a mistake, princess?" Bellamy asked, looking towards Miller and John distributing weapons to chosen guards, then to Clarke. He frowned when he saw her sitting above him on one of the rock ledges, staring off at a lake in the distance. "Clarke." She still doesn't hear him still. Bellamy climbs up, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "Hey... you with me?"

"Hm?" Clarke raises her eyes, almost as if she  _ just  _ noticed he was there. "Oh, um... yeah."  _ She feels bad about Dax. He was always nice to her... what the hell changed?  _

"Here, are you cold?" Clarke nodded, moving against Bellamy as he shrouded a blanket over the two of them. "I never thanked you... I know it wasn't easy to... do that." 

"I've killed two people. I watched a girl kill herself and did nothing. I tortured someone. I'm the reason my dad died. I'm such a monster." Clarke croaked, looking away from Bellamy. He looked her up and down as if he was trying to document this for next time. Bellamy hated seeing her like this. No matter what he did, she always punished herself. 

"No, you aren't. When you were killing those people, you never did it with bad intent. When you killed Atom, you were saving him from a painful death. When you killed Dax you were saving  _ my life.  _ It wasn't your fault Charlotte died, and your father's death wasn't your fault. That's on your mother." 

"I could've stopped it..." She whispered, thinking back to when she first found her father recording that video... she should've floated the goddamn video, why didn't she? Maybe he'd still be here if-

"Look. The universe is full of what if's, Clarke. I always think... what if I didn't let Octavia be taken? What if I didn't let my mom drink herself to death...? What if I didn't torture that man?" He took a pause and realized now that Clarke was looking at him, giving him attention. Now she had her sad eyes, the eyes that always made Bellamy wonder what he did to make her that way, or what he could've done to prevent it. "The difference is... there's no use in dragging on thinking about what could've happened... I know it's easier said than done, but... live in reality. Don't keep worrying about every little thing you've ever done wrong, you'll drive yourself insane."

"You're surprisingly poetic." Clarke smiled, somehow feeling better. She cuddled him under the blanket, resting her head on his lap. A map of stars was spread out across their eyes as she took his hand, treating it like a pillow. "So... what are your plans on getting Octavia to forgive you?" Silence met her question and she looked over to him, her eyebrow raised slyly. "You don't have any plans to get Octavia to forgive you, do you?"

"She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you, she's just a little mad. Haha, you're lucky I'm not telling Octavia about your little stunt, she'd whoop your ass." They both chuckled and a comfortable silence fell between them. Clarke began to think of things... flowers, food... food would land well with Octavia. No, it had to be something sentimental. "I know what you can do." Clarke smiled wildly. "C'mon, follow me."

"What, now?" He asked, not able to respond as she dragged him into the woods, running quickly. He stammered, but it was like she didn't even hear him: until she hit a bump in the dirt. "Where... is this that secret hideout Finn found?"

"Mhm. Here, help me with this, big guy?" Clarke smiled. Bellamy rolled his eyes, pulling the bunker open in all but a second. "Thanks." Clarke kissed his cheek and descended the ladder, quickly scrambling to the bookshelves and pulling out a leather case. "And, Mr. Blake, here you are." Clarke grinned, handing Bellamy a leather book. 

When he saw the book, he sat down on the bunk bed below the one Clarke had climbed onto.  _ The Odyssey: Homer.  _ Bellamy sighed, biting back all of the memories that came back as he flipped through the pages. "I... thank you, Clarke."

"Remember, you have to make good on that whole forgiveness thing. You're talking to Jaha when we get back to camp." Bellamy was going to roll his eyes, but he looked up at Clarke's golden hair dropping from the top bunk along with her smiling face when he nodded. 

"Fine. Thank you. For the book, really. Octavia will love this." 

"Yup. Being amazing at apologies is just part of me constantly being an ass." Clarke smiled closing her eyes and breathing deep. "... Hey, Bellamy?"

He perked his head up, looking towards her. "Do you think I'm attractive?" His eyes widened and his head snapped towards her, utterly confused.  _ Does she not know?  _

"O-of course, Clarke. You're the prettiest girl I know." 

"No, I mean... not pretty... sexy." She felt weird saying it. It felt odd, almost cringey. They'd never... done it... and the most they'd done is have an hour-long makeout session that ended with Clarke's mother walking in, prompting Abby to hate Bellamy even more. 

"Y-yes." Bellamy stuttered, turning red. He would be lying if he said he never had... urges... with Clarke, but he'd never do anything if she wasn't comfortable. She just never brought it up. "Of course." He said again, looking her in the eyes, but she broke the gaze quickly. 

"It's just... we've never... y' know. Everyone else I know who's together with someone has... done that. We've been together for two years, and yeah, we weren't together for most of it, but... I want to see what all of the fuss is about." Bellamy burned red but he'd once again be lying if he said he wasn't relieved right now. He didn't know if Clarke wasn't comfortable with that stuff, or if she had bad trauma or something around it. It just never seemed like something that was possible to talk about. 

"I-I would be comfortable if you, um... want to."  _ Jesus Christ, get it together, Bellamy. She's giving you a chance. Stop stuttering like an idiot.  _ Clarke blushed and made eye contact with him. 

"I... um, I want to." She whispered, biting her lip anxiously. Her hair was dangling down and she stuttered again, her ears and cheeks as red as blood. "If you want to, um... now or-"

"Um, y-yeah, if you are okay with it." Clarke nodded, moving down the ladder onto Bellamy's bed. "Are you sure you want to?" Bellamy asked and once again, Clarke nodded. 

"Well, Blake, you are some... so-called 'expert' on this stuff, do you want to..." 

"Well, generally, you start kissing, then lose the jacket, and... go from there." Clarke smiled shyly, taking Bellamy's jacket from her shoulders. She pressed her lips against Bellamy's and in a matter of seconds, the awkwardness fell away and it was just two people who loved each other showing it. 

Clarke was always very immature when it came to this stuff. Clarke was always very immature with mostly everything. She seemed like a child to everyone, even herself. She remembered one time she found an interesting magazine in Bellamy's room and made sure to tease him about it for all of existence. As Bellamy proceeded to slip both of their shirts over their head, she felt him begin to move away from her lips and move downwards and downwards. 

After they'd finished, Clarke could only have one thought in her head.  _ That was pretty cool.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so i really don't like writing smut, it makes me really uncomfortable so I don't really write that much if i'm forced to. also, sorry for not uploading for a week, that tropical storm came to bellmore and we're still out of power, the only way I'm uploading is my brother finally charged his laptop. thanks so much for reading! comments are greatly appreciated!


	29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy recoil from the failed attempt at peace.

"Hey." He felt Clarke move against him, his pelvis moving against her waist. Her voice was exhausted. It must've been four or five PM by now. Jesus, they really slept late. With a widening of his eyes, he suddenly remembered what happened the previous night.  _ Holy shit.  _ He remembered, then looked to Clarke's face, buried in his neck.  _ Holy shit.  _

She looked absolutely beautiful in the light of the candles they'd lit around them.  _ The Oddessy  _ laid on the bed above them, just waiting for Octavia to rip into it.  _ She's going to love it.  _ Bellamy smiled to himself, his gratitude for Clarke only growing. "We should probably get back, don't want them thinking we're dead or anything." 

Clarke moaned in his neck but nodded, unsheathing her face from his skin. "Okay." She kissed him gently as she reached for her bra and shirt, making sure to cover herself with the sheets as she did so. Clarke seemed... happy. Bellamy smiled to himself. It seemed maybe she'd relieved some stress or something by... 

"Did you..." 

"Yeah." Clarke smiled, facing him now, Bellamy's jacket very oversized on her and covering her legs, so she didn't even bother struggling into her pants. "I guess your reputation proceeds you." He blushed, smirking slightly. 

"Thanks, princess." He chuckled, quickly clothing himself as well. They didn't even have to talk about it, there were no words that could describe it, it just felt... right. "Do you remember the way back?" She nodded, slipping into her dark leggings. 

"Mhm, it's not that far from camp anyway. Maybe half a mile."  _ Still gotta be careful.  _ Bellamy reminded himself. It was a miracle they made the day trip with no interaction from the grounders, though if the grounders were  _ truly  _ watching them, maybe they'd see their guns and fuck off. Bellamy hope. They'd lost so many to grounders, what if Octavia or Clarke was next? Bellamy didn't even want to think about it. 

"Octavia's going to love this." Bellamy grinned as his fingers laced around the book, looking to Clarke. "Thank you."

"I told you, apologies are just part of my skill set." Clarke grinned opening the hatch to the bunker. "Goodbye, bunker." She waved before slipping out of the bunker with Bellamy, closing the hatch behind her. 

"Jesus fucking christ, where the hell were you two?" Octavia swarmed around the two as they walked into camp. Octavia ran to Clarke, hugging her as tightly as she could. Clarke blushed, hugging her back quickly. 

"Isn't it obvious?" A voice hissed. Clarke looked to see Finn, glaring at her like he was about to disintegrate her.  _ Does he still... like me? How is Raven this blind? How does he know Bellamy and me did... it...  _ Finn eyed Clarke up and down, which Bellamy noticed very quickly. As Finn was walking by, Bellamy held his foot out, making sure Finn landed headfirst in the mud beside Bellamy, Clarke, and Octavia. 

"Back to work!" He yelled to everyone who was seeming to watch them, making Clarke blush even harder. "O, can I talk to you for a second?" Octavia eyed Bellamy, but finally nodded, leaving Clarke alone in the center of camp to head to the dropship. 

_ "My friends, this is a  _ historic  _ Unity Day. _ "  _ Jaha?  _ Clarke thought, heading over to a group of stragglers watching the small monitor Raven had been able to set up to contact the Ark. They'd set it up in the center of camp for the Unity Day celebration.  _ Ugh, Unity Day.  _ Clarke thought back to humiliating dances where Clarke would be all but courted off to boys who impressed her mother with basic charm or anatomical knowledge. "Every year we mark the moment our ancestors of the twelve stations joined to form the Ark, but now, we do it with our sons and daughters breathing air on the ground below us. Next year, on the ground." 

Miller chuckled as Clarke rolled her eyes at the monitor, seeing Jaha's shit-eating grin. "Right, after we did all the work." Miller smiled sarcastically, looking back to the others watching. "Someone shut him up."

"You shut up, Miller. No one's forcing you to watch." If Bellamy were here, he'd make some stupid joke.  _ Jesus, he's literally in the dropship two feet from you, calm down, Clarke.  _

Clarke had enough after she saw her mother beside Jaha, smiling like an idiot. She noticed Finn standing near the dropship and thought she might go tear him a new one after his comment moments earlier. "Finn, we need to talk." She glared, pulling his arm into a discreet section of the woods, not saying a word as he struggled against her grip, but thankfully, he was weak. "You've got some nerve making that comment today. I don't know if you forgot, but you have a girlfriend, and I have Bellamy. You're lucky all you got was-"

"Calm down, princess."

"That's not your name to use." She stated matter-of-factly, turning her head up and away from him. He rolled his eyes, looking between the camp and Clarke, having a clear interest in one and not the other. 

"Look. Everyone knows you and Bellamy are using borrowed time. If you were just with me instead-"

" _ Excuse me?! _ " She hissed, glaring straight through him. "How  _ dare you _ ?! If you're not fucking careful, I'm going to tell Raven how you were staring at my ass and breasts the entire time we went hunting last week." Finn rolled his eyes and then did something Clarke didn't expect at all.  _ He leaned in, his lips pursed.  _ Her eyes widened. 

Clarke heard footsteps behind her, but she hoped someone saw as Clarke brought her hand to Finn's face, providing him with a loud  _ slap.  _ "What the hell?!" He groaned, pawing at his red skin and staring at her with a shocked, angry expression. "Look, you'd be lucky to have-"

"Hey, Clarke." Clarke spun around, relieved to see only Jasper behind her. "Finn, you've looked better." He laughed. Clarke smiled, relief flowing through her. Finn made her feel like prey, but Jasper was the spitting image of all her childhood innocence in a person. "Everything okay here?" Jasper clearly saw what happened, but the big-brother look on his face was enough for Finn to shake his head, pretending he'd fallen or something. "Well, Clarke, I have something to show you. I need a... what's the word...? Oh, test subject. Monty and I have this new creation we made, I think you'll  _ love it _ ." Clarke beamed, nodding and feeling much more comfortable as Jasper drunkenly swung his arm around her shoulder, jokingly, giving one last look to Finn before the two left him alone in the woods. The only thing they didn't know was how Raven was hidden behind the corner of the dropship, having seen and heard the whole ordeal. 

"Ah, Clarke. Just in time. Welcome our newest batch of Monty's Moonshine!" Monty cheered, handing her a metal cup. Jasper let Clarke go as she was tossed into the amalgamation of suddenly drunk teenagers. Clarke stared at the cup, trying to decide if it would kill her or not. Suddenly, the speech on the monitor cut out, and she didn't know but she  _ swore  _ she heard something that sounded like an explosion on the other side. She was quickly tossed aside, being thrown around by drunken teenagers. "Call this one  _ Unity Day Juice _ !" She heard Monty and Jasper cheer along with the other teenagers as she handed her cup to a drunken girl, escaping towards the dropship. 

"You're missing the party, Octavia. I think Jasper's missing you out there." Clarke smiled at Octavia as she entered the dropship, missing the very end of a Blake family hug. 

Octavia nodded, heading out of the dropship, allowing Clarke and Bellamy to face each other. "You look stressed, princess. Everything okay?"

"The comms cut out," Clarke whispered, clearly worried. She may hate her mother, but if she truly  _ did _ hear an explosion... "I think..." Clarke sighed, pressing her left hand to her temple. "I think I heard an explosion before they cut out."

Bellamy's face didn't seem to change. "It's fine, it was probably just their circuits cutting out or something. Nothing to worry about, princess." Clarke nodded, fooling herself to believe him. 

"Right, you're right."

"C'mon, let's head outside. I think we deserve a little celebrating, hm?" Clarke smiled, willing to put it past her. She was still worried, but she had to put it behind her for now. For Bellamy. Not to mention, now they had to worry about the grounder. Miller had informed her of his escape late last night. 

"Is this the best time to be celebrating? We're completely open for an attack right now, and-"

"Relax. I've got security covered." Bellamy chewed the inside of his cheek, looking between Clarke's flaming golden hair and their drunk friends. "Why don't you go get a drink? I think we could both use one."

"I could use more than one."

"Than have more than one." Bellamy beamed, gesturing towards Monty's so-called 'moonshine.' "Careful, though, I'm pretty sure that stuff can kill."

"Oh, is that right?" Clarke laughed, taking Bellamy's hand. "Well, come on then. 'I think we could both use one.'" Clarke imitated his gruff voice, leaping off into the party with a smile on her face. She was... happy. 

"Clarke?"  _ Are you fucking serious?  _ Was her first thought when she saw Finn's face next to her. "Can I talk to you for a sec?" She wasn't even able to respond as he dragged her off into a discreet section of the woods, a nervous expression on his face. 

"Finn, let me go!" Clarke hissed, trying to tear her grip from Finn, and then suddenly, a force tore the two apart, taking Clarke in its hands. "Bellamy?" She slurred slightly, glancing at Bellamy who looked like he was seeing red. 

"What the fuck, Finn?" Bellamy seethed, preparing to launch himself at the smaller boy. "Why the fuck are you taking Clarke into the woods, out of camp where there are grounders?" 

"Listen, this is going to sound like a bad idea, but I think I know how to get peace with the grounders." Bellamy rolled his eyes, looking at Clarke. She looked like she was waiting for Finn to speak again. "Look Octavia and Lincoln set up a meeting with the leader-"

"Lincoln?" Clarke asked, but when she saw his face, her jaw dropped. "The grounder...?" Bellamy turned back around, his palms shifting into fists. 

" _ You  _ helped him escape!" Bellamy roared, still not over Finn taking his girlfriend into the woods when she didn't want to. "You and Octavia!" Octavia was a small bit of a given, she was the only one in the camp who really cared about the grounder besides maybe Clarke. 

"Okay, wait. Don't you think it's a bit silly to trust him? We tortured him, why do you think he'd help us?" Clarke asked, but Finn's only answer was: 'I trust him.' "Wait, wait, wait."

"Clarke, please don't tell me you're considering this." Bellamy groaned, taking Clarke's hand. She sighed, pinching her temples with her fingers. Clarke looked at Bellamy, who instantly read her look. "Clarke-"

"When's the meeting?" 

"We have to leave now. Lincoln said to bring our leader to talk to the grounders, so-"

"No way," Bellamy interjected, putting his arm protectively in front of Clarke. "You're going to offer her up like a cooked meal?" Bellamy laughed, bringing Clarke behind him, but... she struggled against him. 

"Bellamy, if I can talk to them-"

"Have you gone insane?" Bellamy asked, looking from her to Finn, who was silent. "Clarke, they'll kill you in two seconds. Think about it, you're our only doctor and our leader, it's would be smart for them to kill you. You can't actually be considering this."

"It's worth a shot. Finn... can you give us a sec?" Finn left them alone as soon as he heard Clarke's request. "Bel, I can end a war. I can clean my hands of the people I've killed, and-"

"And if you get killed in the process?" Bellamy asked his hands on his hips. He looked  _ angry.  _ "Clarke, this isn't worth losing you."

"Saving this entire camp is. If I can save all of these people then-"

"Then you end up dead." Bellamy cut her off, his voice sharp and angry. "Clarke, please don't do this." He begged her, taking both of his hands in hers. "Please, don't do this." 

"I have to. If I have a chance of saving us, I have to take it. That's what being a leader is, Bel. I'll be back, I promise." Clarke kissed him, pushing her lips against his for what could be the last time, before slipping into the darkness of the woods, following Finn. 

Bellamy struggled his legs to move towards Monty and Jasper's tent, finding them brewing more of their moonshine. Surprisingly enough, Raven was there as well, tasting the moonshine with a drunken smile. "The three of you, get your guns and meet me by the fence... Clarke's in trouble."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! We're almost at thirty chapters! I'm not sure if I'll go until season two, if you guys want that, then tell me in the comments, but until then, I think I'll just leave it at the season one finale unless you guys REALLY want me to continue. If you guys want it, I'll keep writing it, because honestly, quarantine is so boring that I'm writing two chapters daily at this point. Thank you so much for reading, kudos and comments always appreciated!


	30. Intermission

So, um... my dog's in the urgent care. A disk in him ruptured, and he's going to need surgery. I'm really sorry, I can't upload. I can't sleep at all. Thanks for understanding guys.


	31. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke tries to survive a meeting with the grounder princess, Anya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you guys read, I want to thank everyone so much about everyone supporting me taking a break from writing for a little bit. It honestly really took a lot of stress off my back since I haven't had time to write with staying with my dog during the night and trying to track down vets during the day. For anyone wondering, the vet says that he tore a disk in his spine and he might need surgery. Unfortunately, they won't know for sure until they give him an MRI, and their machine is broken, so I'm trying to track down more vets. I'll tell you guys more updates as it comes in. Thanks again.

"Finn, are you  _ sure  _ they're not going to attack?" Clarke asked, a slight hangover clogging her brain. She felt horrible... she picked Finn over  _ Bellamy.  _ How could she? Finn: the guy who tried to scare her into kissing him when he had a girlfriend. "Maybe this wasn't a good idea..."

"You're just paranoid, princess-"

"Don't call me that." She growled, suddenly getting sick of Finn... she wanted Bellamy.  _ She was scared.  _ Clarke acted tough about this, but... she was terrified. What if she didn't see any of her friends again, see Octavia? See Bellamy...? "Is that it?" She asked, seeing a gangle of people on a large stone bridge.  _ Nevermind not seeing Octavia again.  _ Clarke thought to herself as she recognized Octavia and the grounder... they were hugging. 

"Clarke!" Octavia smiled, running towards Finn and her and throwing her arms around her. "Thought you weren't going to show. Where's Bel?" Clarke's expression was enough of an answer. Octavia sighed, revealing the grounder behind her. "Clarke, this is... um, this is Lincoln."

Clarke felt awkward. Why wasn't the grounder... Lincoln attacking her?  _ She tortured him.  _ "I'm really sorry, about doing all that stuff to you. We didn't have a choice." 

"It's okay." His voice was deep. She almost felt wrong listening to him, as if he was going to spear her any second. Why wasn't he upset? "They're coming," Lincoln announced, pointing to the treeline on the opposite end of the bridge.  _ Grounders.  _

"Horses..." Clarke whispered, her lips twisting into a smile. There must've been at least five, all staring at  _ her.  _

"What's Octavia doing here?" Jasper and Raven. Bellamy didn't even know if they were good shots, but he was maybe the only ones they trusted besides Clarke... God, did he do something wrong? Why'd she agree to this, it was a death sentence.  _ She can't be this stupid. " _ Oh," Jasper whispered, his eyes bugging out of his head as he noticed the grounder. His hand was wrapped around her shoulder, pulling her close.  _ What the fuck?  _ Bellamy thought in anger, almost wanting to aim at the man's head and pull the trigger. 

"Guess we know how he escaped." Raven grinned, glancing towards the hurt expression of Jasper and Bellamy. "Calm down, boys." She smiled again, punching Jasper's shoulder. And then... Raven saw as Finn tried to hold Clarke's hand, only for her to rip it from him instantly, looking like she wanted to slap him. Bellamy smirked but Raven's face died.  _ He loves her...  _ She realized.  _ She doesn't love him, but he loves her...  _ Over the past few days, she'd been seeing things. Raven knew what they meant, she wasn't stupid, but... she didn't want to confront what they meant. She saw Finn trying to kiss Clarke. She saw her slapping him.  _ At least she doesn't love him...  _

"Look," Jasper whispered, pointing his gun towards a couple of grounders approaching on horses towards Clarke, Finn, and Octavia. "More of them." They looked scary, face paint covering their skin with woodland outfits covering every inch of their face. 

"Hey, we said no weapons!" Finn yelled towards the grounders, noticing their bows and knives decorating their outfits.  _ They're so fucked.  _ Bellamy whispered in his head, chewing the inside of his gums.  _ It'll be a miracle if we all get out of here alive.  _

"I was told there wouldn't be," Lincoln spoke, glaring towards the others. There was one woman in the middle. She had black paint smeared across her eyes and cheeks, almost representing those skeletons Bellamy used to see in the books he stole for Octavia. 

"It's too late now." Clarke murmured, glancing towards Finn. He nodded towards her, moving with her as she began walking towards the woman in the middle, her heart beating as quickly as a cat chasing a mouse. 

"No. She goes alone." Both Bellamy and Clarke's blood ran cold as she swallowed, nodding. She glared towards Finn, almost saying ' _ you got me into this, asshole.'  _ Bellamy's breathing elevated as Clarke walked towards the woman in the middle, much more anxious than she had been seconds ago. Still, she held her head high, pretending like she wasn't even the slightest bit scared. 

The woman dismounted her horse, her expression angry and calm at the same time. Bellamy looked through his scope, his finger itching to pull the trigger.  _ To keep her safe.  _ Clarke anxiously looked back towards Octavia, who was frozen.  _ Octavia put Clarke in danger for some grounder. _ "Your name is Clarke?" Clarke nodded, her nails poking into her palms anxiously. "I'm Anya." Clarke tried to smile, sticking her hand out awkwardly. 

When Anya refused, Clarke pulled her hand back, almost like she'd been burnt. "I think we got off to a rough start... but we want to find a way to live together." Clarke smiled for a second, but it was gone as soon as it had appeared.  _ Please don't be shot, Clarke.  _ Bellamy prayed in his head, watching the conversation through the scope of his gun. "In peace." 

"I understand. You started a war that you don't know how to end." Anya's expression was blank, but the anger hidden behind her eyes was evident. 

"What? No, we didn't start anything.  _ You  _ killed  _ my  _ people first." Clarke spoke quickly and nervously, only waiting for Anya to take the blade on her waist and slit Clarke's throat in front of everyone, almost like a trophy. 

"No reason?" Anya raised her voice, already furious. "The missiles you launched burned a village to the  _ ground. _ " Anya hissed, her hands picking at her knife. Bellamy's finger stuttered against the trigger, all of his instincts screaming at him to fire. 

Clarke's face twisted in confusion until it finally broke, her eyebrows knitting together. "The flares? No, no, those were meant as a signal to our families. We never meant to-"

"You're invaders."  _ She's already made her decision, this is pointless.  _ Raven and Jasper glanced at Bellamy, waiting for his signal. "Your ship landed in  _ our  _ territory." Anya hissed, her expression tumultuous as she stared at Clarke, looked down at her like a roach. 

"We didn't know anybody was down here. We thought the ground was uninhabited." Clarke stammered, her voice small and anxious. Anya was losing her patience, everyone watching the ordeal knew that. 

"You knew we were here when you sent an  _ armed  _ raiding party to capture one of us and torture him." Anya glared at Lincoln, looking at him as a traitor.  _ He's not with them anymore.  _ Bellamy realized, seeing the fearful expression on Lincoln's face. Clarke remained quiet, sighing. "These are  _ all  _ acts of war." 

"I see your point. That's why we need to put an end to all of this. Neither of us wants more bloodshed." Anya heaved a great sigh, looking from Octavia and Finn to Clarke's tense, anxious face. 

"Lincoln said there are more of you coming down. Warriors." Clarke nodded, looking up at the sky for a brief second. The Ark was no longer visible during the day, but she knew the exact point in the sky where it was. 

"Yes, the Guard. But also farmers, doctors, engineers. People who can help you survive. But only if we're at peace." Clarke spoke softly, trying to make herself seem more peaceful.  _ God, what am I doing? Why am  _ I  _ trusted with this?  _

"Can you promise these 'new arrivals' will not attack my people, that they'll respect our terms if we agree to peace?" Clarke sighed, picking at her nails.  _ Shit... I could lie, but... what if they... fuck.  _

"I promise I will do  _ everything  _ I can to honor the terms that we set today." Anya scoffed, taking her knife from her waist and picking at the blade in her hand. Bellamy's trigger squeezed tighter against the trigger, like a powder keg begging to explode. 

"Why would I agree to an alliance that your people can break the  _ moment  _ they get down here?" Anya asked, her voice rising in volume, making sure everyone near could hear. 

"Grounder princess looks pissed," Raven whispered next to Bellamy, looking through the scope in our gun. Bellamy smiled for a second, looking at Clarke. 

" _ Our  _ princess has that effect." You could hear the anxiety in his voice, it was clearly evident. He was too tired to even care about Finn, actually... no, that wasn't true. He would pummel Finn to a pulp if anything happened to Clarke, whether it be a paper cut or an arrow... God, he wished to all hell it wasn't the ladder. 

"Listen, if you fire the first shot, those people coming down won't bother negotiating. They'll come with guns, explosives, weapons you couldn't dream of. I'm trying to prevent a war that you'll lose when they come down here."

"That sounded like a threat, Clarke." Anya hissed, toying with the blade in her hands dangerously while she eyed Clarke like a predator eyeing its prey. Something... it was barely anything, but the slightest sound peaked Jasper's attention from the woodside. 

"... Oh, no."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone so much for reading! Kind comments and kudos honestly helps me worlds! Thank you so much!


	32. Chapter Thirty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy tries to protect Clarke from everything, but eventually it fails.

"... Oh, no." He whispered, his voice dry and traumatized. Bellamy and Raven turned to him, looking through their scopes. "No, this is bad."

"What are you going on about?" Bellamy asked, looking through his scope to where Jasper's barrel was pointed. 

"They're in the trees, aiming towards Clarke." Bellamy's blood froze as he searched the trees, not seeing anything. He looked again, catching the most subtle face hidden behind camouflage paint and a bow pointed directly at his girlfriend's head. 

"Shit..." It was with a heavy pit in his stomach he saw one of the grounders signal and then draw their bow.  _ They're going to shoot her.  _ "They're going to shoot her, Clarke,  _ get down _ !" Jasper screamed, seeing as Clarke turned her head in surprise. Bellamy felt his heart drop when their eyes connected. He could see the confusion and hurt in her eyes as he stared back at her. 

"Behind you!" Raven screamed, shooting through Anya's skin just as the grounder was about to slit Clarke's throat. 

"Clarke, come on!" Finn screamed, grabbing Clarke's hand and tugging her behind a tree, begging the arrows wouldn't pierce the thin cover. "Are you okay?"

"Are you fucking serious, Finn? You didn't have Lincoln make sure they wouldn't bring weapons, you just made them pinky promise?" Clarke gaped at him, rolling her eyes again when he sighed, not saying anything. "Don't touch me."

"At least I didn't bring my boyfriend and his lackeys to a peaceful attempt at stopping a war." Finn spat, but it only made Clarke more pissed. Her eyebrows knitted together and in a split second, Clarke slapped him, leaving a red hand-mark on his face. 

"Bellamy saved your life and mine, be a bit more grateful." She whisper-screamed, her heart-melting as she saw Bellamy appear before them, arrows whizzing past them as he extended his hand towards her. "You came?" 

"I'll explain later, would you mind if we got out of here?" He smirked slightly as she nodded, taking his hand and sprinting towards the direction of the dropship with him, Finn following behind. 

"Where's Octavia?!"

"Lincoln got hit, Octavia's with Jasper and Raven." Clarke sighed, breathing for a second as she sprinted past the trees, all of them blurring in her peripheral vision until she saw a small group of kids -her friends- in the heap of green, their hands on their knees. Yelling was breaking out across the group, most of it coming from Octavia. As Bellamy breathed, he saw Finn glaring at him with daggers leaving his eyes. "Got something to say?!"

"Yeah, I told you no guns!" He screamed in Clarke's face, almost pushing her over until Bellamy stood in the way, his eyes daring Clarke to even touch Clarke. 

"I told you we couldn't trust the grounders, and I was right!" She screamed back at him, her chest begging to get enough air even though it couldn't seem to. 

"Why didn't you tell  _ me  _ what you were up to?!" I tried, but you were too busy making bullets for your gun!" Finn exploded in her face, not giving a second look to Raven who was returning Finn's stare with a glare consisting of the most anger she'd ever felt with someone. 

"You're lucky she brought that!" Bellamy pushed him away from Raven now, too, a glare scrawled on his features. "They came there to kill all three of you!" He roared, his voice as loud as a blaring siren, cutting through the night's cold air. "We fucking saved all of you!"

"You don't know that Jasper fired the first shot!" Finn fired back, rage still swimming through his veins, begging to be released at someone. His palms clenched into fists as he continued screaming about. 

Jasper looked up, his eyes bugging out of his head.  _ Did I just kill someone?  _ He asked himself, not knowing whether to smile or cry.  _ I'm a man now, but... this isn't what it should feel like.  _ "You ruined everything," Octavia stated blankly, making Jasper bug out in confusion and heartbreak. 

"I saved you!" He yelled after her, a tear begging to escape his eyes. "You're welcome," Jasper whispered, pushing past Clarke and Bellamy towards the suddenly visible gates of camp, which looming over them oddly. 

"Well, if we aren't at war already, we sure as hell are now." Both Clarke and Bellamy rolled their eyes, Bellamy's fists clenching as Clarke's lips began to shake, like she was going to cry. "You didn't have to trust the grounders, you had to trust me."

_ That's it.  _ Clarke thought, walking towards him with a look of hatred on her face. "Trust you?! I can't fucking walk around camp without you staring at my ass! Should I tell Raven how you've tried to kiss me twice while she was down here, or how you would've forced me to if Jasper didn't intervene?!" She exploded at once, a tear falling down her face before she ran back into camp, crying from both fear and anger at the same time. 

"You tried to kiss her?" Raven asked, a new shine added to her eyes...  _ tears.  _ "Finn, what..." She couldn't even finish her sentence before a stray drop rolled down her cheeks as Finn tried to get closer to her, trying to take her in a hug. 

"You tried to kiss her," Bellamy repeated, charging towards Finn. Before he could even think, his fist was reeling in pain while Finn spun onto the grounder, his lips curled into an 'o.' "You go near Clarke again, you're dead." He whispered, retreating into camp to go look for both Clarke and Octavia, desperate to comfort them. He still had to give Octavia the copy of  _ The Odyssey  _ Clarke had found. Maybe it could cheer her up. 

"Raven-"

"Don't. Listen, Finn..." She sighed, pushing her hair back.  _ He's all I have.  _ "I don't want to talk about it, okay? I'll see you in the morning." Raven croaked, pushing past him in anger in depression. In fury, Finn roared in rage into the cold air night, trying to be as loud as he could. 

_ " _ Like I said, best Unity Day Ever." Bellamy joked to Clarke as they were walking through the tent, Clarke no longer tragic, just furious. Mostly at Finn, but also Lincoln, and even Octavia a small bit. Suddenly, a deafening  _ thwoosh  _ spilled through the air, and Clarke and Bellamy looked up. 

Clarke's face lit up as Bellamy whispered: "The Exodus ship? Your mom's early."  _ Maybe I can forgive her now... she had to make a tough call. It was a very  _ fucked  _ tough call, but maybe I can try... I can try. Anything can happen. It's what Dad would want.  _ Clarke stepped forward, almost wishing she could be on that ship.  _ We don't have to be alone anymore. The grounders will be wiped out by tomorrow, and we can try to start peace with the  _ non-violent  _ ones. The villages, not the warriors. We did it, I did it... we survived.  _

And then it all came crashing down... literally. The fire on the ship diminished and the blinding light suddenly became smaller and smaller. "Wait... something's wrong, the parachutes haven't-" 

Her small voice was cut off as a deafening explosion bled through the air and the large ship was decimated into ash, crashing into the dirt below it.  _ No... no.  _ Clarke's already damp died as she felt her knees buckle underneath her weight, only for Bellamy to support her, looking down at her. She faintly heard him calling to her, but at that very moment, she just couldn't answer, and soon enough, everything was black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks everyone so much for reading! comments are really appreciated, as well as kudos!


	33. Chapter Thirty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke recoils after her mother's death.

"Clarke? Clarke?" Bellamy called to her, watching as his girlfriend's face shivered for a second, her eyes squeezing shut then open again. "Princess, it's me." He smiled as her eyes met his, but she looked even sadder at the sight of him. 

"My mom's dead... I'm an orphan." Clarke croaked, hiding her head in Bellamy's pillow. It was a somber day at camp: those who were from Phoenix all knew their parents were on the ship... the higher class gets on first, that's always how it was. It was almost comforting to see the other kids comforting them, allowing them to cry on their shoulders. It was like the 100 had become a family almost. A  _ very  _ dysfunctional one at that, but a family none the less. 

"You don't know that. Maybe she wasn't on the ship." 

"Bel, even you can't believe that. My mom is... was a council member and the main doctor on the Ark... she would've been on the first ship down here." Clarke whispered, hugging Bellamy's muscle like it was a stuffed animal she could cry on. "My mom's gone." 

"Maybe... but you still have me. And Octavia. And we're not going anywhere." Bellamy smirked a small bit, brushing a strand of hair out of Clarke's face. 

"Promise?" She said, not caring how much of a child she sounded like. Clarke  _ needed  _ Bellamy, especially now. She was trying to forgive her mom, even Clarke thought it was a possibility... now she couldn't even try. 

"I promise." Bellamy nodded, taking Clarke in his arms. Suddenly, their tent flap zipped open and Raven revealed herself. "Hey. Monty wants to go check out the... um, the crash-site. See why they went down..." Raven's voice was full of sympathy as she cringed, looking towards Clarke's broken face. 

Even though the words weren't spoken, Clarke knew that Raven was asking her to go, waiting for a response from her. "We'll go," Clarke answered, unraveling herself from Bellamy's arms and shrouding herself with a blanket, using it as a jacket. It was getting colder and colder with each day, and now that they didn't have the Ark to give them supplies... basically, they were fucked. 

"Clarke-"

"I'm fine, Bellamy. You don't have to, but I'm going."  _ Of course, I'm going.  _ He thought, trying to understand how to make Clarke feel better in that second. "I need to... okay? I need this."

"...okay." He whispered, rubbing her shoulder, trying and failing to comfort her. "Who else is going?"

"Some of the Phoenix kids... Jasper, Finn, Miller, and Octavia." Raven responded gently, looking Clarke down. It didn't look like she got any sleep at all. Dark crescents lived under her dead eyes, while her normally radiant skin seemed to be too damp. "We're leaving soon, so get ready." 

"Thanks." Bellamy murmured as Raven exited the tent, a forbidden silence running through the room. Clarke fell back into the bed, covering herself with the blankets. "Hey..." 

"My mom's gone... she's never coming back. I was going to forgive her. It was all going to be okay."

"It still can be okay. I'm right here-"

"That's what you say every time something happens! But it just keeps happening! I get over it, and then the next shitty thing happens and it feels like... it feels like I can't feel, anymore." Clarke croaked, not looking at Bellamy. She hid herself in the sheets, trying to her her misery in herself. 

"Listen to me. You will get better. I know I say it all the time, but I'll always be here for you. I promise." Bellamy whispered, stroking his hands through Clarke's hair. She sniffled and got up, shaking her exhaustion and depression off, trying to keep it at bay only for a couple of minutes. "Are you sure you want to go?"  


"Yes." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for no updates! there was a hurricane in my town and we still don't have internet or power. I'm updating this because I'm at my grandma's in brooklyn. thanks everyone so much for reading, comments and kudos are always appreciated!


	34. Chapter Thirty Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke reels from losing her mother as the situation on the Ark grows more fatal.

"Clarke? Clarke?" Bellamy called to her, watching as his girlfriend's face shivered for a second, her eyes squeezing shut then open again. "Princess, it's me." He smiled as her eyes met his, but she looked even sadder at the sight of him. 

"My mom's dead... I'm an orphan." Clarke croaked, hiding her head in Bellamy's pillow. It was a somber day at camp: those who were from Phoenix all knew their parents were on the ship... the higher class gets on first, that's always how it was. It was almost comforting to see the other kids comforting them, allowing them to cry on their shoulders. It was like the 100 had become a family almost. A  _ very  _ dysfunctional one at that, but a family none the less. 

"You don't know that. Maybe she wasn't on the ship." 

"Bel, even you can't believe that. My mom is... was a council member and the main doctor on the Ark... she would've been on the first ship down here." Clarke whispered, hugging Bellamy's muscle like it was a stuffed animal she could cry on. "My mom's gone." 

"Maybe... but you still have me. And Octavia. And we're not going anywhere." Bellamy smirked a small bit, brushing a strand of hair out of Clarke's face. 

"Promise?" She said, not caring how much of a child she sounded like. Clarke  _ needed  _ Bellamy, especially now. She was trying to forgive her mom, even Clarke thought it was a possibility... now she couldn't even try. 

"I promise." Bellamy nodded, taking Clarke in his arms. Suddenly, their tent flap zipped open and Raven revealed herself. "Hey. Monty wants to go check out the... um, the crash-site. See why they went down..." Raven's voice was full of sympathy as she cringed, looking towards Clarke's broken face. 

Even though the words weren't spoken, Clarke knew that Raven was asking her to go, waiting for a response from her. "We'll go," Clarke answered, unraveling herself from Bellamy's arms and shrouding herself with a blanket, using it as a jacket. It was getting colder and colder with each day, and now that they didn't have the Ark to give them supplies... basically, they were fucked. 

"Clarke-"

"I'm fine, Bellamy. You don't have to, but I'm going."  _ Of course, I'm going.  _ He thought, trying to understand how to make Clarke feel better in that second. "I need to... okay? I need this."

"...okay." He whispered, rubbing her shoulder, trying and failing to comfort her. "Who else is going?"

"Some of the Phoenix kids... Jasper, Finn, Miller, and Octavia." Raven responded gently, looking Clarke down. It didn't look like she got any sleep at all. Dark crescents lived under her dead eyes, while her normally radiant skin seemed to be too damp. "We're leaving soon, so get ready." 

"Thanks." Bellamy murmured as Raven exited the tent, a forbidden silence running through the room. Clarke fell back into the bed, covering herself with the blankets. "Hey..." 

"My mom's gone... she's never coming back. I was going to forgive her. It was all going to be okay."

"It still can be okay. I'm right here-"

"That's what you say every time something happens! But it just keeps happening! I get over it, and then the next shitty thing happens and it feels like... it feels like I can't feel, anymore." Clarke croaked, not looking at Bellamy. She hid in the sheets, trying to shield her misery in herself. 

"Listen to me. You will get better. I know I say it all the time, but I'll always be here for you. I promise."

Clarke fingered the dirty metal in her hands. The smell of burnt flesh and blood ran through her nostrils, making her want to puke. She watched as Bellamy and her friends examined the wreck, trying to understand what had gone wrong.  _ They should've been fine... why?  _

She noticed a small trail of pink liquid dripping from the scrap of metal. She ran her fingers in it, not noticing as Raven called out for her, warning her of the danger. "Clarke, stop!" 

Bellamy's head shot towards Clarke as he followed Raven, concern pushing its way through his throat. "What, what is it?" Bellamy asked, taking in the sight of Clarke looking up at him. 

"That's rocket fuel, it's really explosive," Raven explained, dipping Clarke's hand in her canteen and washing the liquid off with a rag. "You could level this entire site. We need to clear the area." She muttered to Bellamy, waiting for him to yell to the others. He happily complied. 

"Alright, everyone clear out! Report back to camp!" Bellamy roared, watching as Miller and the others escaped the scene, giving a glance towards Clarke rarely. 

"You okay?" Bellamy asked, inspecting Clarke's hand and rubbing it gently as if she'd been burned. She turned her head, sighing. "Clarke?" He asked, placing his finger on her chin and turning it towards him. 

"Yeah, yeah, it's... I just miss her, y'know?" Clarke asked, looking straight into his dark brown eyes. He met her gaze, staring into her shiny irises, inspecting his own reflection in her eyes. 

"I know." He uttered softly, leaving a hot trail of breath on her neck as he took her in his arms, taking in her scent. "It's okay. This isn't gonna go away overnight, but the best part is: I'll be here with you the entire time."

"I love you."

"I love you, too, princess." He whispered as the rest of the group walked away, dimmed from the momentary scare. It seemed that the sun was glowing brighter, making it much too hot. Clarke sighed, rubbing her hair back and looking towards Bellamy with a pout. Suddenly, her face lit up, but a fraction of its death still lived in her eyes. "What?"

"Explosive liquid equals bombs, Bellamy. We have a chance." She grinned, calling Raven over. Raven seemed to realize the fact in her mind before Clarke opened her lips. 

"Bombs... bombs." She repeated, taking out her bottle and beckoning Bellamy and Clarke further away so that she could focus. As the liquid fell into the bottle, she felt her hand lower with the sudden weight. Pink death stared her back in the eyes as she screwed the cap on, keeping it still in her hands carefully. 

"We can protect ourselves." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for no uploads! I might not be able to upload for another two days because my phone decided to yeet itself off of a sailboat, one day before school. so sorry! thank you for reading!


	35. Chapter Thirty Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and co. try to come up with a way to finally protect themselves from the grounders before it's too late.

"Okay, you can come in!" Raven called, removing the cracked helmet from her face. If the liquid exploded, the suit wouldn't do anything, but it was the only way to get Clarke to shut up. Oddly enough, Finn didn't say anything as his girlfriend was traipsing into her soonly welcome death. 

Once again, he saw Finn staring towards Clarke, his eyes casually undressing her without her consent. Clarke's hand was still clasped around Bellamy, her golden hair fraying her jawline. Her eyes were lined with pink, most likely caused by silent tears. Bellamy looked uncomfortable, glancing towards Clarke now and then, checking her face carefully. "Will it work?" 

"I guess we'll find out." Raven sighed, carefully wrapping the pink fuel in a can, pouring gunpowder around it. "Put the fuel in the tin, add some firepower..." She scrawled an 'x' on the metal with a piece of chalk, staining her hands with the power. "... shoot the target, win a prize." She muttered, looking towards Bellamy and Clarke, searching for a response. 

"We need a plan first. We can't just go in with one bomb and expect to get out alive." Finn interrupted Bellamy, making the other boy's distaste for him only grow exponentially. Bellamy tightened his hand around Clarke, trying to get her as close as possible. He could tell she didn't feel safe around Finn... after he found them in the woods with Finn's hands on her... she felt uncomfortable around him; scared... and Bellamy noticed. 

"He's right." Clarke agreed, sighing and sitting on Raven's bed, the soft cloth wrapping around her. "... we shouldn't attack."

"Shouldn't attack?" Bellamy asked in utter disagreement. His eyes shook in confusion and Clarke sighed, tying her hair back as Bellamy's jacket hung loosely on her shoulders. "We have the ammunition, we have every-"

"You didn't let me finish, Bel... we need to make them know we can fight back, but we don't need to kill ourselves to do it." Clarke realized, an apathetic smile growing on her lips. "We explode the bridge."

"Why would we waste our only bomb on a bridge?" Finn asked coldly, not regretting it as he saw Bellamy parade him with daggers through his glare. 

"Yeah, exactly. They'll think we have more,  _ genius. _ " Clarke rolled her eyes, eyeing the bottle carefully as her friends caught onto her idea. "Look, the Ark isn't coming down. We're on our own. We need to protect ourselves, at least until we can get away from here, find somewhere safer for the remaining eighty of us." 

"They won't attack if they think we have bombs, they'll be scared of it from the first time." Raven thought aloud, looking to her friends with a small smile. "Griffin, one: everyone else, zero." Clarke nodded, still relapsing from discussing the fate of the Ark. She squeezed Bellamy's hand, letting it rest against her shoulder. He supplied her a cent of comfort as her cheeks burned red, watching as Raven started discussing their plan. Suddenly, she heard screams.

"What now?" Bellamy groaned, rushing out of the tent with Clarke and the other couple close behind. There was a gaggle of yelling as Clarke felt a physical pit rush to her stomach, stopping her. She tripped over as her feet stopped, too furious and scared to work. As she fell to the ground, she looked up to see the weak and terrified eyes of John Murphy staring back at her.  _ No... no, h-he can't be back. It's only been a week since Charlotte... no...  _

Clarke felt herself being pulled up, soon smelling the familiar scent of Bellamy, then joined by the vision of his jacket as he pushed her behind him defensively.  _ Bellamy's going to kill him.  _ Clarke realized, keeping her grip on Bellamy just in case he murdered in front of the camp, some as young as thirteen. "Murphy?" Clarke heard voices echo across the camp, some of them yelling at him and some of them throwing rocks, trying desperately to kill him. 

"What's he doing here?" Another hushed voice asked, spitting in Murphy's direction. It was ironic, really. What Murphy did was despicable but many of the 100 had done similar things. Some were even accused of murder or sexual assault. Those who'd done either had been silenced from the group, only if they'd murdered for horrible reasons, which was appropriate for most of their crimes. 

"Murphy?" Clarke asked, a hiss apparent in her voice. One she'd only ever used with her mother or Finn. "What are you doing here?" She eyed him up and down, cringing as she took in the sight of blood dripping down the boy's face, clotting on his skin and in his hair. His clothes were demolished to the point that all that was left was a rag hanging around his chest. His nails seemed to have been torn off, replacing the chitin with blood.

"What happened to you?" Raven asked. She'd never personally met Murphy, so she didn't know what an absolute ass was. But from the way everyone was treating him, it seemed like she should enjoy seeing him like this. His hair ran across his face with only his dark brown eyes sticking in the darkness. 

"The grounders... they... they t-tortured me... I escaped here." Murphy gasped for air, a spurt of blood dribbling from his lips. Clarke sighed, immediately regretting her next words.

"... Jesus, Bellamy... he could have information if we help him." Bellamy's pupils grew larger then shrunk, almost as if he was looking at a different image; a different Clarke. His face twisted in confusion and hurt as the chatter around Murphy silenced... they were awaiting Bellamy's answer. Awaiting the fight. 

"Clarke, he killed a child!" Bellamy whined, moving towards Murphy. Gasps filled the air as he moved closer, a war moving between the two boys' eyes. "He almost killed you, we all knew what was gonna happen if he showed up here, including him." 

"Look, I know. I know more than anyone that he deserves to be floa... deserves to be killed, but he could give us information." Clarke pleaded with her gaze, taking Bellamy's hands in hers. Finn fidgeted from the side of her eye. She didn't think about him, all she saw was her reflection in Bellamy's eyes. There was a story in his gaze, a story portraying a series of emotions that were asking her why.  _ Charlotte's scream, Clarke collapsing in his arms as her blood swam across his skin... it was all reflected in his eyes.  _ "He can save all of us if he knows anything."

Bellamy growled, placing his hands on his hips and staring directly into Murphy's eyes. A fire burned through him as he remembered the lasting scar on Clarke's abdomen and suddenly he grabbed Murphy by the collar, heaving him up with only one hand as if he was nothing. "Bellamy!"

"Listen, you shit, if I see you even looking at someone strange, I'll gut you. Let me be clear, you're not staying here. As soon as we're done with you, we're tossing you back out and letting the grounders finish the job." He hissed, dropping Murphy back to the floor and letting Miller and Monty drag him to the dropship. 

"Bellamy..." Clarke groaned, running after him. He moved past her until she finally yanked his hand, moving him inches from her lips. She pushed against him gently, catching his attention sweetly. 

"You know I'm not going to like having him back..." Bellamy whispered, pulling his lips from Clarke, resting his forehead on hers. Their skin mingled, sharing warmth in the cold weather. It was nearly November. Frisk air had replaced the once sweet-smelling warmth, meeting the 100 with a cold slap in the face.  _ This was it now. There's no one coming for you. You're on your own. Good luck, you prepubescent idiots.  _

"He hurt you, Clarke... he almost killed you." Clarke nodded, rubbing the scar on her gut in pain. It still hurt as it hadn't been so much time since Murphy's assault on Clarke and Charlotte. Bellamy placed his hand over hers, providing warmth to the cut. He kissed her forehead as their fingers intertwined. "I almost lost you." His voice broke as a tear strolled down his face. He felt physical pain whenever he thought back to that night... hurt. It was painful imagining Clarke so weak and small in his arms... so bloody and helpless. It was a foreign stranger compared to the Clarke Bellamy knew. He didn't want to meet the stranger. 

"I know... he  _ isn't  _ coming back," Clarke promised him, ignoring the conflict in her mind.  _ Second chances... I was going to give my mother a second chance... perhaps I can make up for that loss with this one. This chance.  _ "I promise." 

"Okay."  __

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much everyone for reading! can i just say how damn thankful I am for all of the support on this story? It's honestly so fun to write besides my own original stories, so it's really nice to see something I care for so much get accepted so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you guys, new update soon! Also, what are you guys dressing up as for halloween? my friend and i are both going in perry the platypus onesies!


	36. Chapter Thirty-Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The camp recoils after Murphy returns, bringing something unwanted with him.

She breathed, looking as Bellamy watched from a few feet away, worry and fear written across his features.  _ I'll be fine.  _ She assured herself, trying not to think about how she was heading into the lion's den, sent in to heal Murphy. 

"Princess." He murmured as she walked in, his face in a frown and his eyes decorated with blood. "Here to help me feel better?" He asked, his voice low and sarcastic. 

"Only if you tell us what you saw." Clarke shrugged her shoulders, grabbing a damp towel. "It's up to you if you choose to be an ass or not." She stated simply, beginning to wash the blood from his skin. "You're lucky Bellamy didn't fucking murder you on sight. It was a dumb move, coming back here."

"You think I don't fucking know that?" He hissed at her, looking apologetic a second after. He sighed, speaking through the pain. "Sorry, I... I know that, okay? I had no other choice." 

"Yeah, I've heard that before." She whispered, thinking back to Charlotte's young face. It was so full of life and excitement... and she was gone, because of Murphy. "So, how did you get out?"

Murphy suddenly began coughing, his own exhales landing on Clarke. She backed up, a disgusted expression written on her face. "Looks like they broke one of your ribs." She noticed a strange line in his shirt... it looked like a rib jagging from his skin. 

Suddenly, screaming came from the outside of the ship. Murphy and Clarke shared a look as Murphy nodded, telling her to leave him and go see what it was. She made her way out of the ship, looking as two bodies were carried past her, blood on their lips. "They started puking, they have bad fevers," Octavia informed her, covering her nose due to the smell. 

"They're the ones who brought Murphy in..." She frowned, storming back into the dropship, realization dawning on her. "Murphy, how did you escape?" She demanded, looking from him to the two boys beside him, both of them vomiting blood. "How?"

"T-they left my cage open, I left when no one was looking." He spoke quickly, glancing from Connor to Jack, the two boys who laid beside him. "W-what's wrong with them?"

"Oh my God, you idiot. Murphy, you didn't escape... they let you go." She whispered, running her hand through her hair. Suddenly, something was running down her cheek. Murphy's eyes widened as he pointed towards her eyes. shock and fear ran through her as her fingers returned with blood, and at that moment, Bellamy decided to walk in. 

"Clarke?"

"No, Bellamy stay back." She raised her hand, showing that she needed him to stay away. Bellamy looked between Clarke and Bellamy, shifting from foot to foot anxiously. 

"Did he do something to you?" Bellamy asked, cracking his knuckles and walking towards Murphy. 

"No, Bel, stay back!" She demanded, raising both her arms and looking him in the eyes. As he saw the blood smeared on her eyes, his eyes widened and a look of fear came over him. 

"Clarke, what... what the hell happened to your eyes?" He asked, trying to walk closer but not able to take a step as Clarke demanded him to stay away. 

"The grounders, they... they infected Murphy with something, some kind of..." She paused for a moment, taking a shallow breath. Bellamy felt his heart swarm. He wanted to go closer to her, but she'd freak out again. "... some virus. You expected retaliation for the bridge? This... this is it. Biological Warfare." 

Bellamy breathed, pacing around the room and glaring towards Murphy. "Did you know about this, asshole?" He fumed, pacing the room and glancing towards Clarke. She looked exhausted, even though he made sure she slept well last night. Her soul looked like she was leaving her body as more yelling emerged from outside. 

Even though he tried to keep her sitting, Bellamy watched as Clarke swayed on her feet weakly, trudging to get outside. "Clarke-"

"I'm fine." She cut him off, sighing as she looked at the crowd. "What the fuck?..." 

"Finn started a quarantine. These guns are making everything worse, they need you to speak, Clarke." Clarke nodded, walking down the ramp, looking as if she could collapse at any moment. 

Screaming was roaring through the crowd, making it impossible for her to even speak above a whisper. Clarke rolled her eyes, taking Bellamy's pistol from him, cocking the gun before he could even say anything. Two shots went through the air, shocking everyone into silence. "This is  _ exactly _ what the grounders want... don't you see that?" 

Clarke... well, frankly: she looked horrible. Her legs weakly transported her while bags lived under her eyes. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail behind her. Bellamy thought she still looked beautiful, though. "They don't have to kill us if we kill each other fir-"

"They won't have to kill us if we all catch the virus, now get in the fucking ship." A boy pointed a gun at her. Clarke didn't look slightly phased, just nodded, placing her hands on her hips. In a matter of seconds, Bellamy had stolen the gun away from the boy, throwing him onto the dirt underneath them with anger. 

"Not to state the obvious, but your quarantine isn't working." He growled at Finn, who returned a glare towards the taller boy. Clarke exhaled heavily, grabbing at her head. "Clarke?" 

Suddenly, her eyes closed as she fell to the ground. Bellamy quickly caught her in his arms, worry and pain running through him as he looked back to Octavia, who looked just as terrified. "Clarke?" Octavia whispered, moving out of the crowd. "Clarke?"

"Get her in the dropship," Finn ordered him, watching as the small family disappeared into the ship. 

Clarke felt too light in his arms. He could almost see her ribs through her skin as she lifted to check the scar Murphy had gifted her. Her skin was sweaty and her palms felt clammy. "Give her some water... she has to fight it herself. We can't do anything but give her some painkillers." Octavia whispered hoarsely, pushing a small cup of water to Clarke's lips. "She wouldn't want you in here... you'll get sick, Bel."

"Fuck that, I'm staying right here." Bellamy laid her down in one of the free hammocks, pulling a strand of hair behind her ear.  _ Wake up, princess. Please... don't do this.  _ He tried not to think about the bodies outside... the people who'd died from the same sickness that Clarke now had. What if she died? What would he do then?... he realized he'd soon follow her. "C'mon, princess. Get up... please." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks everyone so much for reading! comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! there'll be a new update something this week, thank you!


	37. Chapter Thirty Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy begs Clarke to get up after sickness consumes her.

"Bel, you can't go in there." Octavia had to have Miller and Jasper drag him out of the room after Clarke had awoken, falling on her chest when seeing Bellamy was next to her, at risk of being sick. "You're putting her in danger, if she wakes up and sees you, she'll hurt herself again." Octavia snapped quickly, pushing Bellamy out gently and shutting the curtain of the ship. 

_ "Octavia..." Clarke moaned, sitting up quickly and then grabbing her stomach in pain. "Fuck." Bellamy scrambled to be by Clarke's side, taking her hand in his immediately and wanting to kiss her. Every single ounce of pain that she felt was something he wanted to crush under his shoe and never look back. "... Octavia?" She called again, not yet opening her eyes.  _

_ "Clarke, thank fuck." Bellamy sighed, wiping Clarke's sweat-covered skin with a cold rag. She moaned in pain, seeming to ease a little bit at Bellamy's touch.  _

_ "N-no, you... you can't be... be here. No." Clarke shook her head, opening her eyes finally. She ignored the pain, swinging her knees over the hammock and denying his touch, weakly trying to push him out of his chair. "No, no, you..." Suddenly, she collapsed, quickly being caught by Bellamy. A body quickly took the weight from him.  _

_ Octavia glared at him, placing Clarke back on her hammock. "Bellamy, what the fuck? I told you to stay out!" Octavia asked, raising her voice. Bellamy went to reach for Clarke again but was quickly swatted away, a look of annoyance clear on Octavia's face. "Get out, get out!" She hissed, looking towards Miller to escort Bellamy out. It wasn't effective. _

"Look, man... you're just gonna make it worse for Clarke if you're in there." Miller blocked the door, giving Bellamy a firm yet apologetic look. Bellamy whined, clenching his fists until his nails indented in his skin. "Just... go do something else." 

Bellamy almost laughed, running his hands through his hair. "My girlfriend is  _ dying _ , you expect me to go run through a field of butterflies, Miller?" Bellamy snapped, placing his hands on his hips and looking up at the sky as if he were praying for Clarke to just waltz out of the ship and smile at him.  _ Everything would be okay again.  _

"Just... go, Bel. What do you think she'll feel like if you get sick?" Miller asked, his jaw moving as he scraped the inside of his cheek with his tongue. 

"Guilty..." Bellamy nodded, sighing, and walking off the ramp that led to the dropship. A glum expression hung on his face as he watched his feet drag across the dirt, making their way towards Bellamy and Clarke's tent. 

It really felt like she was going to die. When he looked at her, God, her eyes... they were so blank. Robotic and stale. Her eyes were usually so full of wonder and life, their icy blue color staring warmth into anyone who met them.  _ Please survive, princess.  _ He begged as he climbed onto the bed, taking his pillow in his arms, and imagining it was Clarke. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a short chapter! I have two tests tomorrow that i had to study for, and I'm writing a new Last of us fanfiction that I'm really excited about, so if you like that check out my other books, I have more bellarke on there two! Thanks so much for reading!


	38. Chapter Thirty Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy tries to live without Clarke as the camp falls into a panic.

Her eyes opened, a wave of exhaustion instantly flowing over her as light met her eyes. The sounds of coughing and the smell of infection flowed through her senses, making her feel even worse. "Oh, thank God, Clarke?" Octavia's voice met her ears, ringing slightly. Clarke coughed in her sleeve, seeing the presence of the brunette appearing her. "You look a bit better."

"I feel better. My fever's lowering." Clarke whispered dryly, gratefully accepting the cup of water Octavia handed her. She sipped for a few seconds, before handing it back to Octavia. "Okay, now them." Clarke breathed, gesturing towards the other sick teenagers, some of them having piles of blood beside them. "Is... is Bellamy?..."

"No, Bellamy's not sick. We quarantined him to his tent after you fell." Octavia explained, continuing the talk as she gave water to the other kids, checking their fevers. Clarke had taught Octavia most of what she knew, afraid who would do her job if something were to happen to her. Bellamy thought it wasn't necessary, but he knew better than to argue. 

"How... how many are left?" Clarke asked, looking at the abundance of sick people. It had to be more than twenty.  _ If the grounders attack, we have no chance whatsoever... that's what they want.  _ Clarke realized, shutting her eyes in anger. The grounders attacked them for no reason... what had they done? They were the cause of Charlotte's death, and probably Wells' for all they knew. 

"Around thirty people are sick, so we have half left. Miller's trying to get everyone to calm down. We're just spacing apart for now and having everyone at their posts in case of an attack." Clarke sighed.  _ This was their plan all along.  _

"They're going to attack, Octavia. Bellamy needs to get on his post, he's one of the best shots." Being a member of the guard, Bellamy was one of if not the best shots in the group. They needed him at the posts. "Just... tell him I said I'm up and to get his ass on his post."

Octavia smiled slightly, nodding, and leaving the dropship temporarily. Suddenly, Clarke's eyes landed on Murphy, watching her carefully. 

Clarke winced as he reached for her, but realized he was only wiping her head with a cold rag. It felt  _ blissful.  _ The fear that lived in her subsided a small bit, but it was still extremely present. "Don't worry, I... I'm done with that. Listen, Clarke... there's no excuse for what I did. I realize I was an ass, and I don't expect you to forgive me, but please... you've gotta let me stay, I'll be skinned out there."

Clarke glared up at him, realizing he was right.  _ Can I take another death on my hands?  _ She asked herself, remember all the murder she'd already had to take part in. Murphy  _ did  _ look sorry, though, but Clarke couldn't tell if he was sorry for being caught or  _ genuinely sorry  _ for his actions. "I'm not forgiving you, Murphy. And you know Bellamy's gonna kick your ass for what you did to... to Charlotte, and to me."

"Please, Clarke, I'm sorry. I promise, I'll do my tasks, I'll do everything, just please let me stay. Hell, you can even let me stay as your prisoner, just let me stay,  _ please. _ " 

"Bellamy's going to have my ass for this, but... look, if you do a single fucking thing, you're out." Clarke sighed, pushing Murphy off of her angrily. Of  _ course,  _ she was going to say yes to his pleads, she was a doctor. It was her  _ job  _ to help people. 

"Thank you, thank you, Clarke. I promise, you're not going to see anything from me, I'll do everything." Murphy almost smiled, his cheeks warm. He was going to survive... if Bellamy didn't kill him first. 

"Just... go make sure they aren't dead, Murphy." Clarke groaned, beginning to get up, only to feel Murphy gently place his hands on her arms, keeping her in the hammock. 

"You shouldn't be getting up so soon, Clarke."

"Those people are dying. Do you know how to deal with seizures or if someone's choking on their blood, Murphy?" She challenged him, feeling her hands release from her body a moment after. He sighed, shaking his head. 

"Fine, it's your funeral." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading! there's gonna be an update in like four days since my internet is freaking out because of some flooding in my town. remember to leave kudos and a comment!


	39. Chapter Thirty Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The camp recovers from the dizzying infection; Raven comes up with a plan to defeat the grounders.

Clarke sighed, slowly standing to her feet and using one of the metals columns for balance before she steadied, able to let it go. "Don't die." Murphy quipped, giving her a look. She simply raised her middle finger, quickly attending to one of the many sick patients.  _ I'm here. I'm back, don't worry.  _

"Bellamy, Clarke's up." Octavia saw her brother's face suddenly lose all of the tension it had been holding. It seemed like the wrinkles of his frown disappeared immediately as he began to race towards the dropship, but Octavia held a hand to his chest. 

"Hey, big guy, just because she's up doesn't mean you still can't stress her out. Besides, you've been assigned to your post: princess' orders. 

"Seriously, Clarke?" He muttered under his breath, but eventually nodded, cocking his rifle and reporting to the fence, a massive smile on his face.  _ She's going to make it. I'm going to make it.  _

"What the hell are you doing up?" Octavia frowned as she entered the dropship, seeing Clarke walking around and tending to the sick. "You just woke up, Clarke, you shouldn't even be standing."

"I'm fine, O... I'm not going to be if the grounders come and none of these people are good enough to aim a gun." Clarke quickly responded, pressing a rag to a younger teenager's head. They laid unconscious on the floor of the dropship, a small puddle of blood laying next to their lips. 

"Just... take it easy... please?" Clarke sighed, nodding slowly after raising herself, laying the girl to sleep. 

"Fine, fine... have they seen anything?" Octavia shook her head 'no,' rubbing Clarke's back. The blonde looked better, but the bags under her eyes still dragged down. 

"No, nothing yet," Octavia whispered, a goofy smile on her face as she fingered a purple flower in her palm. Clarke knitted her eyes together, looking down at the flower. 

"Where'd you get that?" Clarke asked in a suspicious tone, snapping Octavia from her catatonic state. Octavia glanced up, a guilty expression painted on her face. "O, where'd you get it?" Clarke squinted, taking the flower from Octavia and smelling it. It smelled like earth. She smiled, almost remembering not to take their location for granted. This would've seemed impossible nearly a month ago.  _ I wonder if Mom would be proud of me.  _

"I may or may not have snuck out last night-" Octavia was interrupted as Clarke sighed, knowing where the sentence ended. 

"O-"

"Look, would you rather me be with Lincoln or one of the murderers in this camp?" Octavia asked her, snatching the flower back. Clarke eyed her up and down, noticing the hint of a goofy smile drawn across the smaller girl's face. 

"What are you gonna do if Bellamy finds out? He'll murder me if he figured out I know, Octavia." Clarke hissed, imagining Octavia sneaking out in the night. "You could've been attacked, Octavia. No more sneaking out alone." Octavia rolled her eyes, sighing and hiding the flower in the pocket of her hoodie. 

"Fine." She quipped quickly, watching as Clarke steadily walked from her side to a girl on the floor, giving her a sip of water. "You should get some fresh air." Octavia saw the smile raise on Clarke's face, watching as the blonde quickly jogged from the dropship, her eyes hungry for Bellamy. 

His name was the only in his mind as she searched for him in the camp, running through despite the fact she'd woken minutes ago. Everything else fell away, and suddenly... two strong arms wrapped around her, enclosing her in an air-tight hug. "Clarke, oh my God," She heard Bellamy's voice and she melted into the hug, relying on him to keep her afloat. "I thought... I thought you were going to die?"

"And leave you alone?... never." She whispered, her voice muffled in his chest. He smelled like the trees and the forest, a scent that she had come to love. "Oh God, I'm so glad you're here." Clarke whimpered, feeling Bellamy squeeze her even tighter. 

"Thank God you're okay," Bellamy whispered, releasing her. He looked at her, their eyes meeting. "Listen to me... I am never, _ever_ going to leave you again, okay? I'm never letting you get hurt again."

"Okay."  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks everyone for reading! kudos and comments are greatly appreciated! i'm not sure if i'm doing a season two for this series, but i might. not sure yet. i'm probably going to take a hiatus between season one and two if i do, though.


	40. Chapter Forty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven attacks the grounders; Clarke tries to keep peace.

"Thank God you're okay," Bellamy whispered, releasing her momentarily. He took in the sight of her, noticing her supple skin had returned to its normal color. "God, you're okay." Clarke smiled, nodding against him. Bellamy released her again before speaking. "Raven has a plan."  
Clarke took Bellamy's hand as he took her to Raven's tent. Finn, Raven, and Jasper all huddled together, standing over a cylindrical shape. "Is that-"  
"The bomb. We can stop the grounders before they get here." Finn breathed, careful not to step too close to the liquid.   
"So... who's going to... do it?" Bellamy asked looking around. It almost looked like Clarke was going to volunteer, but she felt Bellamy squeeze her hand tightly, shaking his head firmly. She retreated, sighing, and looking towards Jasper, Finn, and Raven.   
After a second had passed, Raven glanced towards Finn. Her face showed one of absolute anger and depression. Finally, the girl sighed, raising her hand with a furious look on her face. "Guess that leaves me." She muttered, noticing Finn turn his head away. Clarke retracted in Bellamy's grip, seeing exactly what had happened. Is... is this my fault? I'm so horrible.  
"Raven, I can-"  
"I can do it, Finn." She snapped, walking out of the tent after uttering a quick couple of words: "We do it in the morning." Morning...   
It came sooner to Raven then she wished it had, but she found with fear that her nose was running with blood when she awoke. A cold dew was settled over everything, giving it a beautiful blanket of morning and Earth, something she didn't take for granted.   
Quietly, Raven snuck out, the bomb planted in her bag along with her rifle. A crow was carved on the side by Jasper, a mock joke that she found almost funny. They're not up... guess I'm doing it myself. Finn will just slow me down.   
Raven made sure not even to touch a leaf as she snuck out of the camp, seeing a rare couple of people up so early. As she quietly opened the gate, she gazed at the sleeping guards atop their posts and rolled her eyes. So much for guarding. We'll just get more people killed.   
"Okay, okay. Just get to the bridge, Raven... take the shot." She whispered, already almost a mile from the camp. She hurried, knowing from the blood dripping down her cheek that she didn't have long.   
Darkness slowly released its grip around him as Bellamy sighed, letting out a breath. How early is it? He asked, opening his eyes. An array of golden hair hung next to him as he breathed in the smell of strawberries, smiling as he took in the sight of Clarke. She hasn't slept this well for a while. Finally got her to lay down.   
He remembered the plan, getting up with a small groan, and slipping a shirt on. Socks and boots followed until he was ready to eventually go outside, which he did, looking for Raven and Finn's tent. "I'm not about to walk in on anything, am I?" Bellamy asked gruffly, knocking on the tent's metal poles only to find Finn's voice.   
"No, Raven's... she left, she took the bomb." Finn quickly revealed himself, climbing out of the tent and hurrying towards the gate of the camp. Concern was palpable in his face, but Bellamy didn't buy it. He could feel when Clarke tensed up around Finn and he didn't like it. "We need to get to her."  
"Okay, take it easy."  
"No, Bellamy... look." He held Raven's pillowcase before submerging it in a pot of hot water. It was decorated with blood.   
"She's sick..." Bellamy groaned, nodding and helping Finn open the gate, following the trails of footprints that Finn picked up on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter! I have three tests tomorrow and a test to do tonight so I didn't have much time to write this! Thanks for reading, kudos and comments always appreciated!


	41. Chapter Forty One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heyo

hey guys, no updates this week. my aunt got covid so i'm going to be with her all week. i'm really sorry but i can't write right now, so i can't upload for a little. im really sorry, i'll be back soon, promise


	42. Intermission 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

hey, so i just want to thank everyone for letting me take a little break to be with my aunt. thank god, she's getting better and she'll be okay in a little bit. I'll probably start writing again tomorrow, so there will be an update in a couple of days. thanks, everyone <3


	43. Chapter Forty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Finn desperately look for Raven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, before I start this: thank you so goddamn much to everyone for letting me be with my family after my aunt got sick. I'm very fucking relieved to say she's going to be fine after a little bit of rest and some good recovery. I am trying to get back into my groove so these chapters might be a little shorter for a while. I've been out of school for the past couple of days because of my aunt's getting sick and I have so many tests and so much work to catch up on so I'm really sorry if these are a bit short for the next two or three times. I just wanted to thank everyone for understanding and it feels really good to be back to myself again.

"Okay, take it easy."

"No, Bellamy... look." He held Raven's pillowcase before submerging it in a pot of hot water. It was decorated with blood. 

"She's sick..." Bellamy groaned, nodding and helping Finn open the gate, following the trails of footprints that Finn picked up on. Bellamy followed him impatiently, knowing the fate of the entire camp was in their hands. If Raven messed this up... _she won't. She's smart, she knows what she's doing. But if she's sick..._

"We need to get to her quicker." Finn nodded, picking up the pace with Bellamy close find. He took a crushed twig in his arms, noticing a drop of blood on the end. "She was here." Suddenly, a cough echoed through the woods. Finn looked back towards Bellamy who shook his head, signaling that it wasn't his exhale. "Raven!" He called through the woods, hearing another cough echo through him. 

Bellamy squinted his eyes, tracking the location of the younger girl with his hearing. He'd become accustomed to hunting, so his senses were heightened slightly compared to the others at camp. "Over here." Bellamy waved Finn over, finding a tall body collapsed in the woods. Finn froze as Bellamy rushed towards Raven, lifting her. Bellamy glared towards Finn, sending him a scowl. 

"You know, you could fucking help me carry her. I'll get the bomb." Bellamy fished it out of Raven's bag as Finn took her in his arms. "Get her back to camp."

"Bellamy-"

"I said to get her back. I got this." Finn hesitated for a second but nodded as Bellamy marched towards the bridge, dedication pulsating in his veins. _I got this._ Bellamy told himself, sprinting towards the bridge, his mind plagued with pictures of Clarke. _I need to do this for her._ Bellamy chanted, the branches cracking underneath him as the bridge came into view. He looked down at the bomb in his hands, a grudge running over him as he ran towards the bridge placing the bomb and sprinting back to his original position, letting his fingers glide over his rifle. He took the aim, and fired. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading. comments and kudos are very appreciated and one final thank you to everyone for understanding. have a good day <3


	44. Chapter Forty Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy try to keep the camp in check.

He felt sweat dripping down his forehead as he aimed, knowing that the lives of almost one hundred relied on if he was going to miss or not. Knowing that Bellamy felt the twist in his stomach tighten, trying to imagine Clarke there next to him. He gulped, hearing the forgotten calls of war cries echo through the morning's air. And then, it was over. As the grounders began pouring through the trees, an explosion blew them back, screams echoing through the dawn. 

Bellamy smiled, watching the amber and orange dance before him and suddenly, the grounders were gone as if they weren't even there. He sat up, pushing himself from the earth and trudging back to camp, his silence shocking even himself. Soon enough, he was back at camp. Clarke stood on the wall of the gate, worriedly searching the forest for him. Her face lit up when she saw him and she quickly  _ hopped  _ over the fence, making Bellamy smile. 

He felt her arms wrap around him tightly and he returned her grip, breaking away from her after a moment. "Hey." She smiled. Clarke looked much better, her skin had returned to its glowing pigment and she looked like she had showered as her hair was tied back in a wet ponytail. Clarke took Bellamy back into camp as Bellamy looked around, his face worried. "Raven?"

"She's better now, Finn's with her."  _ That's surprising.  _ Bellamy frowned, knowing how Finn felt about his girlfriend. There was a crowd in the dropship as the last licks of the sickness began to wear off. "Everyone's happy that the sickness is gone."

"Where's O?"

"She's with Murphy in rations. Don't worry, I put Connor with her, she's not alone with him." Bellamy nodded, jogging off to find her. That was when he paused and both of them heard the screams. Clarke and Bellamy's eyes connected as they ran towards food rations, noticing smoke billowing in the wind.  _ "Octavia. _ " 

"What the hell happened?!" Clarke growled, her hope quickly diminishing as she looked at the burning rations, knowing that was the last of their food. "That's all of our food!" Yelling ran through as Octavia stood to the side, glaring at the boy who'd been in the tent with her and Murphy. "O, what happened?"

"Fucking Connor put too much wood when he was heating the meat!" Murphy responded with a snarl, glaring towards the boy. He simply seethed back, his eyebrows knitting together in fury. "Octavia told you it was too much!" 

"Bel, that... that was all of our rations." Clarke realized in horror, watching as the last of her hope was blown out with pails of water. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! sorry that the chapters are still a bit short, i'm still catching up on work in school from when i was out last week because of my aunt, and i'm trying to get back into the writing mindspace. kudos/comments appreciated <3


	45. Chapter Forty Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy try to keep the camp in a calm state as their rations turn to ash.

"What the hell happened?!" Clarke growled, her hope quickly diminishing as she looked at the burning rations, knowing that was the last of their food. "That's all of our food!" Yelling ran through as Octavia stood to the side, glaring at the boy who'd been in the tent with her and Murphy. "O, what happened?"

"Fucking Connor put too much wood when he was heating the meat!" Murphy responded with a snarl, glaring towards the boy. He simply seethed back, his eyebrows knitting together in fury. "Octavia told you it was too much!" 

"Bel, that... that was all of our rations." Clarke realized in horror, watching as the last of her hope was blown out with pails of water. 

"Alright, get in your groups, get out there!" Bellamy announced, looking to Clarke with a sigh. This was the last thing they needed and it surely wasn't helping with stress about the bridge. 

"We're going to be picked off like goddamn flies out there." Octavia croaked beside him, looking at all of her friends leaving the village, not knowing if she would see them again. "We're going into their territory."

"It's that or we starve." Clarke sighed, grabbing a rifle and cocking the gun, loading three bullets into the chamber, and switching the safety on. "We have no choice, Octavia. Stay here, you and Monty are in charge." Clarke ordered, exiting the dropship. Octavia looked to Bellamy, who gave her a sigh. 

"She's right, we need to get some rations. We'll be back by sunset, O." Octavia watched Clarke and Bellamy leave with a pit in her stomach and she squeezed her nails into her palms, letting out a squeal of anger but reporting to the main center of camp, prepared to see what it would feel like to be in charge for once. 

"So, you hate this as much as me, I'm guessing," Bellamy spoke with a gruff tone as they exited the gate. Every part of him hated making Clarke leave but she was a surprisingly good shot, and aside from that, their only combat medic. 

"Octavia's right, we're going to get slaughtered out here," Clarke complained, looking at the woods around them and then Bellamy. Stubble had begun to rise on his cheeks, and his hair was neatly cut, due to Clarke. "Gotta get back A.S.A.P." Clarke muttered, holding her rifle in her hand. It still felt odd having a gun. A part of her that had lived on the Ark still survived in her, but most of it had been choked out. 

"Yeah, that'd be the best idea." Suddenly, a twig snapped before them and Clarke gasped, switching the safety off of her rifle. Bellamy did the same. "Stay close." Bellamy gently ordered, taking a step forward, and just like that, he was gone. Something came from beneath him and swarmed her, catching him up in the trees like a venus fly trap consuming an insect. 

" _ Bellamy _ !" Clarke yelled, looking up at him. He met her gaze and froze when he realized a grounder coming up behind her. "Are you okay?!"

"Clarke, behind you-" Bellamy was cut off as Clarke screamed, the grounder almost instantly making her sink to the ground. 

_ "Clarke _ !" The grounder made his way towards the rope that held Bellamy in the air and cut it, sending him back down to the ground. Before he could do anything, Bellamy's vision went black with Clarke being the last thing he saw. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, guys. sorry there hasn't been an update in a little less than a week, guys. had a bunch of projects this week and haven't really been in a good place mentally, but i'm doing better and there'll be an update in 2-3 days :D


	46. Again

hey, guys... so, I know this is a broken record, but... my friends are sick. My friend Saudyia tested positive, and then my friend Jordan, and then Emily, then Meagan. My friend's mom has breast cancer and she's at risk of getting sick since my friend got sick so my friend is very stressed and I need to be there for her. Luckily, I prewrote some chapters so there will he an update tomorrow, just wanted to let you guys know what's happening. Luckily, my friends are at a different high-school, so I most likely won't get sick, which is very lucky since I have a heart condition and asthma. Sorry for the inconvenience, there will be an update tomorrow. I hope everyone is having a good day.


	47. Chapter Forty Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy are trapped in a grounder camp.

He struggled against the binds, instantly seeing Clarke slumped over before him. He called her name but she didn't respond, only groaned in response. A dark blotch of red hid in her hair and he cursed under his breath. "Clarke, hey. Clarke." 

She looked up slowly, meeting his eyes then looking around them. They were in a tight room and Clarke struggled against the rope around her, not making any headway. "Shit... shit." She whispered, watching Bellamy try to escape as well. Clarke's chains were slightly loose only so that she could barely slip her hand out, though her thumb got caught on the sharp rope. 

"It's okay... we're gonna be fine."

"We're going to die," Clarke whispered, looking straight through him with a ghostly expression. He shook his head and struggled against the chains once against, cursing. Clarke's jacket was gone and she had a deep gash just below her collar bone. Her hair was mangy, showing they'd been there for at least a day. Bellamy could hear footsteps outside that showed that the fighting between the grounders and the hundred had started.  _ Miller's keeping them safe, Octavia's okay. They should be able to protect themselves for a little bit.  _ "We're so fucked."

"No, we'll be fine, Clarke," Bellamy swore, daring to make even an ounce of noise. "Can you get your hand out?"

"Not without having to snap my thumb out of its socket." Clarke shook her head, pulling but moaning in pain when she tugged too hard. "I could try-"

"No, that's our last resort." Bellamy shook his head, looking around them. Sweat lived in his hair and suddenly, footsteps approached the door before a grounder rudely burst in, frightening Clarke. She silenced, watching the near beast carefully. "Where are we? Let us go!" Bellamy ordered, struggling against his binds. The grounder looked to Clarke and Bellamy yelled louder. Clarke simply stared back at him, frozen. " _ Hey _ !" 

"Your people are currently being captured." His voice was husky and Clarke's breath hitched, thinking of all of her friends. 

"What?" She asked, now beginning to struggle as well. The grounder took her chin, holding her up to his eyes. Bellamy let out a roar, wrestling the chair he was held in. Clarke jerked her head away sharply, looking down. "You need to let us go. Once our people get down here, they'll kill all of you."

The grounder let out a chuckle and shook his head, shutting his eyes. "We'll see, child." He said the last word with a poisonous tone. Bellamy squinted his eyes, letting out a deep sigh. "As for your fates... I'd start praying." And with that, he left, leaving both of them in a frenzy. 

"I'm going to try and get my hand out," Clarke whispered a major ringing in her ears from where her head had been struck. Before Bellamy could even argue, there was a sickening snap and Clarke tore her hand from her bind, breaking her thumb from its socket. 

"Clarke!" Bellamy hissed, cringing when she snapped it back into place with a horrible expression of pain. "Are you alright?!" He whispered, trying to move closer towards her. 

"Y-yeah... yeah, I'm fine," Clarke responded, quickly untying herself and making her way to Bellamy. "We can get out through there." Clarke pointed to a window and just like that, both of them were sprinting through the woods, not looking back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading! for anyone wondering, two out of four of my friends tested negative and my friend whose mom has cancer is THANKFULLY better now. still, two of my friends are sick so might be a while till the next update. thanks so much for the concern and i hope you all have a good day. happy early halloween.


	48. sorry

hey, guys. i think you guys must've been noticing that i haven't been updating it a lot, and it's mostly because of what's been going down in the fandom. um, so i don't know if you guys know, but i'm actually a victim of domestic abuse myself. i don't want to start a debate, but when the news came out about bob and eliza, i kinda knew i wouldn't be watching the show anymore. even if it isn't true, which... in moral debate, i always side with the victim. it doesn't help that bob never actually responded or apoligized. it's just hard to write about someone who's done stuff that have made me... go through stuff before. this isn't the end, though, i'm going to finish off the first season in the next 1-2 chapters -coming this week, i promise- and i'm really, really sorry, but i can't do a season two. writing about bellamy and thinking of things like that kind of just gives me some bad memories and memories that are still going on, so i'm really sorry to dissapoint all of you, but i can't do a season two, just for my mental health and to try to push this stuff down. i have more bellarke fics similar to this one on my story if you need some of that in the meantime, and there should be an update soon. sorry you guys had to wait just to read this, it's been a hard month since my friend is still sick, and i haven't had a lot of time to write. i'm really sorry, i hope you all have a good day. <3

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! please, please, please leave a comment telling me if you liked this, and a kudos!


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